Fantasizing

It isn't easy. You've literally got to force yourself to stop thinking about those thoughts once they come up. Over time with the more you do it, it becomes a little bit easier to do. When withdrawls start to come up, they can be even harder to push away

 

Hi Illmatic, hang in there! You need to cut out all porn fantasy or else you will never find your true self.

I have two strategies I'm using successfully so far. I'm having a super clean monk mode streak of two weeks.

The 5 second rule - I forgot where I found it but it works like magic. Basically when a sexual thought or fantasy enters your mind you allow it to stay for a maximum of 5 seconds. When 5 seconds passed (or even before if you feel strong) you block the thought and allow any other non sexual thought to replace it.
It will take some practice but trust the process. You shouldn't block your thoughts with force, accept them and let them pass until the 5 seconds are gone. After a couple of days your mental images of your fantasies will become less vivid and less intrusive.

Using the emergency button as preperation - This is my very own strategy and is a mix of two strategies: taking advantage of the nofap emergency app and doing the "not now" approach (you specify a short timespan and make a mini challenge, for example "I will not masturbate tomorrow").
My relapse pattern is the same as yours, sexual thoughts at night and in the morning, so you can use my strategy 1:1.
I would open the nofap emergency app before going to bed, does not matter whether I'm horny or not, I would choose a random category and for the rest of the night I would reflect on the material. Then I will make a promise to myself: I will continue my monk mode streak tonight and tomorrow morning, because *insert motivation from the nofap app here*.
Most people download the nofap app as emergency button but when you wake up and your brain is half asleep you forget about any safety nets. In this vulnerable state you would easily reach a psychological point of no return and edge, fantasize, fap etc. But when you have prepared for emergency when you were still in the safety zone you can stop any urge before it's too late.

I would love to hear if this has helped you.

 

Yes Illmatic, I read your story. Porn can mess with your mind. Judging from your story however I think you are a perfect example of a bisexual as you admired and masturbated to female and male models and also had crushes on girls and guys. This does not happen to straight or gay boys. However you prefered gay porn and I am sure you developed a gay fetish because of this. And your anxiety and shame paved the way for your addiction... you know the drill. Dopamine and novelty seeking etc.

I feel sorry that you have to endure this. But you can break this cycle forever.

Straight, bi, gay - forget the labels. Focus on nofap.

 

Hi Illmatic

Congrats on your progress so far.

It sounds like you've struggled to control your thoughts. You might have a lot of insecurities and a lack of self-confidence or self-acceptance. But at the end of the day each one of us has to take responsibility for our thoughts. We have to remember that our thoughts are not us. You can choose which thoughts to recognize and which thoughts to simply ponder and let go. I suggest trying next time one of these exciting thoughts or images or bits of language come to mind, that you watch it: where did that thought come from? how does it make you feel? where does it go when you just let it go? It's not a part of you, it's simply a sensation in the mind, and you can choose to recognize it or not.

 

Hi Illmatic,

Fantasizing was the reason I gave in recently, it sapped all of my mental energy. Safe to say it drove me pretty mad. After a crazy binge I've incoperated my 'pinching rule'. Exactly what it sounds like, as soon as a sexual thought of any kind enters my mind I pinch myself. Well, that works . It just forces your attention away from that thought. Might be a little extreme but I found it to be really effective when I can't mentally divert my thoughts to something else.

Keep moving ,

Mótus

 

I can certainly relate to this. I'm fortunate enough (not really...) to have an over-active mind. My attention can shift between a dozen things at a time. So, when the fantasies come in, I bounce to something else and try my best to focus on that non-trigger thought (which, to be honest, isn't all that easy inside my head) until the urge passes.

I'm curious by nature: always wanting to learn. My current trick is to look for something just laying around and mentally try to explain how it works. If I don't know how it works, I hypothesize.

Just me. Maybe it can work for you.

--Infinitely

 

I'm not going to tell you to thought police yourself.
You do, however, need to figure it out. Find willpower or discipline or something.
All these people think you have it in you.