Sharing Your Addiction With Others Question

I have not told my parents about my 16 year porn addiction, but I have considered it lately since joining NoFap. I feel as though maybe you should tell your folks too, especially since you said they're supportive and they'll notice changes in your behavior and attitude along your NoFap journey. It'll be awkward as hell, that's been what is keeping me from telling my loved ones as well lol. My closest friends and my boyfriend know though as I've told them within the year. That all went very well and they have been understanding and supportive of my quitting. I know that it'd be a good idea to tell my family as well; like you, I live at home, they are supportive, we are close and they know me so well. I am 2 weeks in to my first reboot ever as well, I don't think I've ever gone this long before. I am scared to tell the people I love most that I've been watching graphic pornography in their home for so many years. I am ashamed and sad about it, but I know that it'll be a good thing for me to open up to them about this and I would feel the weight lift off my shoulders. I think I am going to tell them after I've completed my first 30 day no PMO goal Good post, looking forward to reading some more responses and keeping up with your journey. Love the screen name btw lol.

 

Yes I've told everyone. Keeping this in the dark helps it grow.

 

I'm a wife of a PMO addict and I can say that my husband finally telling me (after 5 years of marriage) did help him somewhat. (The reboot is helping more but we didn't know about that then.) As was said,

I completely agree.

I think writing a letter is a good idea. Also, you may want to keep it short and simple. Maybe a link to a your brain on porn article?

 

I wish it had more activity too! It's such a good post and question. Maybe more will find and respond Good idea about forming a letter to tell them. Gah yeah, it's such an awkward position no matter what. At least it probably won't really HURT them like someone having to come clean about drug addiction and such, it's more of an awww man :/ kinda thing lol.

 

Dont be too honest people. Its not as if saying it will excuse things happened or make them vanish.
The bitter truth is, you will only lose their respect.
some things better stay in the dark, nothing nonmoralic about it.

 

...which is a personal and subjective decision about who to tell and not to tell. I can say with certainty that telling my parents would not make them lose respect for me and neither do I feel would this man's or else he wouldn't be considering it.

 

"The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection."
TELL PEOPLE. The worst thing you can do for an addiction is struggle alone. Telling someone about your addiction takes all the power away from the addiction. When you keep it a secret you isolate yourself out of shame/guilt, which only further makes you dependent on the addiction. When you tell people you admit you have a problem and get other people involved in helping you, and just the human connection of receiving help is a huge bonus for rebooting the brain.
Notice how there isn't a SINGLE person who voted that they told someone and it wasn't beneficial? Everyone who has told someone said it was beneficial. TELL SOMEONE. I don't know who that person might be in your life, but pick at least one person. I am telling lots of people. The more people I tell, the less ashamed I feel, and the more positive energy I have to beat my addiction.

 

That is so awesome to hear @Tj720! I love it. I know my husband would definitely say telling me was very helpful for him.

 

My opinion is more related to lovers and friends. Your parents will not lose their respect for you, but their view of you will still change

 

RealLifeGamer - I think you are underestimating the people in your life. Imagine if a person you love or was your friend came up to you and admitted they had a drinking problem and wanted your help to break their addiction. Would you loose respect for them? No! Porn addiction is the same. I've told my parents, my friends, even girlfriends, and they have all been nothing but supportive. None of them have lost respect for me. You are correct that their view of you will change, but in my experience, it changes to a view of respect. SO FEW people have the guts to admit they have a problem and try to change it. If my friend told me he had a drug addiction and wanted to break it, i would respect him MORE, not less, because I would realize that he was trying to become a better person. I would likely talk to him more to try and support him.