Lingerie equivalent for husbands?

In my humble and very personal opinion, there is a certain asymmetry between the man and the woman in a traditional relationship, regarding their "expected" roles and "permitted" behaviors.

This allows her to express her excitement and enjoyment of the physical intimacy via "feminine" lingerie, without a corresponding mode of expression for the same thing on your ("masculine") side -- unless she happens to have a certain fetish that you are capable of entertaining. Simply expressing "typical male horniness" would most likely not convey the same "this is my present to you" message, and instead might be seen as a selfish "this is what I want."

Thus, I think that instead of expressing excitement/enjoyment regarding the physical intimacy, the man should instead express his emotional love, via thing like:

• romantic flowers, "candlelight dinners," and special gifts
• as well as -- yes, at least based on what I see in my culture -- sharing in the burden of mundane tasks, like: doing the dishes, and other household/family chores.

 

@Bartimaeus , There is always higher end briefs that you buy in a men's boutique, and well groomed. something classy, not too reveiling... the Chipendales thongs don't turn many ladies on, or I don't think at least its not romantinc its more sexual and tacky......A little muscle strength gained thru working out, I'm not saying Olympic-style weight lifting. A massage is a real treat....you don't want to turn sexual during the massage in the first place, it has to be a "give" with no "take desire" unless its clear that its where it goes.

All have to be in a nice package, being seductive and attention ate...

In a nutshell, there is more Don't than Do's....no stink, no bad breath, no ball scratch, no gases...

but, you might want to look at this:

http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic

 

Take her out to nice dinner at a romantic restaurant. No special occasion other than a romantic date.

If you have kids, find an overnight babysitter and get a hotel room.

Share a bottle of wine. Buy some flowers, share some chocolates.

Talk reminisce and remind her why you love her.

When the intimacy begins, tell her how hot she looks in the lingerie, have her stand and model herself for you. Let her see the expressions of love and lust on your face.

When in the act, try to compliment and pay attention to the non-sexual parts. Tell her she has pretty eyes, kiss her back and neck.

Treat her sexual pleasure as more important than yours. Make her note that your arousal increases with hers.

Try to keep to the sexual positions that maintain eye contact.

Orgasm inside your wife.

When done, say I love you and cuddle.

 

I agree to all of these suggestions and the ones above but there is one thing missing...There is nothing sexier than your man well groomed and suited up. I find that this is something I always enjoy when we go to weddings and other events dressed up. I find we both seem to enjoy our end of the night much more after these events and I know for me it is partly to do with seeing him in a suit, clean shaven and hair done. That is a rare occasion with us, it's usually t-shirts and jeans. I would love if he surprised me with a secretly planned romantic evening and presented himself in a suit, and all the other things mentioned in the above responses too! But it's the suit I think that is equivalent to lingerie, it shows he is looking to go above and beyond to make the night special and about us.

 

I just ordered a massage table from amazon, price was more than reasonable. I find that with a table, its easier on the person giving, because of the standing position and being able to move on the other side easy. A bed is not comfy for the masseur. also, its comfy and relaxing for the "receiving person". Some sweat almond oil is a great massage oil, good for her skin. It stays on so a shower might be needed after.

and if it turns sexual in the end, oh well. a well relaxed lady might want to snooze during or after the massage, but it might turn into something else!

It's good, because massage has the "giving" to the loved one aspect, the soft touching close to bonding behavior, a little "letting go" factor to it.

I'm considering testing the "karezza" waters with the wife...it can start with a long massage, turn into karezza (O-less sex, all about touching and feeling, but no fast movement)...

food for thoughts...

 

I'd be ecstatic with one once a month! Start with one and go from there.

YESSSSSSS. I have a jeans and T-shirts guy too. If he told me he had a surprise date and that I should dress up, and showed up dressed up too, I'd melt!

I'm with @Ikindaknew. We stuck with karezza for a month and are now going back to it after falling off the wagon. (With Os, such a nice way to fall.) It sounds so wacky but seriously, it's worth a try! My husband and I have gained so much from it.

 

Great advice here! I especially enjoy being told stories about when we met or even stories about past tender or sexual moments. I would also appreciate verbal compliments when I am dressed up, be that for church or lingerie.

Great article! I was going to share my mainstay. http://yourbrainonporn.com/the-lazy-way-to-stay-in-love

I sometimes forget those things when I get naked. But if my husband were to slow things down and do some of the things listed (he already does some, I'm just saying more) I would appreciate it muchly!

In fact, I love this whole thread so much I am going to tag him. @fuckyouporn. You are amazing and as we fall back in love I have noticed much more tenderness! I think this thread contains lots of good ideas for both of us on things I'd love to see us incorporate! I can give you massage as well, for example. And giving each other healing touch, since we are both trained in that, would be really nice!

 

I thought that proper attire for a "romantic restaurant" was implied.

Pressed dress-shirt, tie (guys learn the proper way to tie a tie), 2 or 3 piece suit (pants and jacket {vest optional}), belt, black (matching) socks and polished shoes.

 

Depends on your definition of a nice restaurant and proper attire. I don't know about where you live, but here there aren't really any places you can't walk into in jeans and a t-shirt.

 

Yes, some may think dressed up means a button down shirt and jeans, which may be ok for going to a night club type event but suiting up is more about romance and not always something our men are thinking about.

 

Get a tuxedo. Answer the door wearing said tuxedo, holding a glass of prosecco. Have the bathroom and/or bedroom prepared for her to get herself gussied up to match, if she chooses. You could lay out something for her to wear that you know will make her feel whatever is her perfect combination of sexy beast, sophisticated lady, demure debutante, and strikingly beautiful. It could be a couple of things for her to pick from. you could reinforce this with a series of little notes that range from "your intelligence is palpable" to "imma give it to u gewd, bitch." Haha probably not the second one, but you get the idea - she's hot, and you want to do dirty things, while simultaneously respecting her way too much to think that. Embrace the contradiction! Flowers and candles, duh. Have some wine, cheese, sweets and that sort of stuff ready, so that it's a relaxed but elegant type of thing. Be prepared to wait any amount of time for her to reemerge. Have a movie or TV show all ready to play, that she'll want to watch, or some other easygoing activity. And then don't have sex.

 

I've gotten the best responses to picking her wildflowers instead of buying them. Cooking her meals instead of taking her to a restaurant. Once I even found this really amazing shiny pebble and gave it to her. Yep, a rock! lol A perfect red maple leaf made me think of her one time, so I brought it home to her.

Things like that.

She seems to appreciate that everyday things key her off in my mind. Ymmv.

 

@TheSumOfAllBeers speaks with wisdom.

 

I will try to remember these things. I think it would be fun if both of us dressed up fancy and went out to eat, movie and such. Even if it was just texas roadhouse or paradiso or something. I think downtown they have some fancier places. May have to check into that before we don't get that chance, which is soon.

 

PM'd you because your wife is on here (right?).

 

@AllanTheCowboy, yes, @fuckyouporn is my husband. Now I'll have to hack his account! Kidding!

 

I'm just going to take credit for everything good he does from now on. "Oh that was my idea. That thing you hated? Nope. All him. Don't let him BS you. Only the good parts were me."