First Time?

Rams · Apr 8, 2016

Hey

So Im 20, from New Zealand, studying design, and I am addicted to P (I'm gunna refrain from writing p**n, I've seen a couple of guys on here do that and I think thats something I'm going to take up). Ive been with my girlfriend for two years now, she found P (pictures) on my phone twice in that time. Both were really hurtful to her, and I would promise that i would now stop, and would succeed at that (at the longest for about 10 days) and then fall right back into watching again. Im doing this now because I watched a TED talk on addiction for a class, then saw the Great P Experiment talk - which mentioned you guys, and here I am.
After watching a few more videos and reading a german study into the science of internet addiction on young men, Its a no brainer to stop. First and foremost I'm going to stop watching P, and also limit destructive behaviour. Im going to still partake in sex with my girlfriend, but abstain from Masterbating. I haven't told her about this yet, I'd rather go to her with the solution rather than presenting a problem. And while I see the benefits of us both working through this together I have a close friend at Uni that I would rather confide in for now. So I'm going to start off with two weeks, of no P or M. This is going to be pretty tough. I watch P probably at least once a day if not twice. And over the last 3 years have spent a considerable amount on online Cam Models.
I also started this because I've recently taken a more feminist ideal thinking onboard, and its pretty idiotic and hypercritical of me to say that objectifying women is wrong, and then go home and pay women based on what they look like to pleasure me over the internet.

So yeah. Im going to do this. Any help would be gratefully appreciated also If you've written a paper on cross cultural studies with personal view as a focus any help would be appreciated I'm kinda stuck haha

traveller22 · Apr 8, 2016

Welcome Rams.

It's a great thing you are looking to achieve - getting past using porn, for the sake of your well-being, respect for your girlfriend & women in general etc.

You're right, it's not going to be easy - old habits die hard & you probably already know about the powerful chemical hit that porn gives the male mind especially.

It sounds like you already have an accountability partner at Uni - or a potential one anyway. If not, connect with someone here. Apart from that, spend as much time as you can on NoFap as you can. Make it a priority to invest time here every day, at least for the next few weeks.

Have you done the 3 circle exercise? If not, check my signature for a link. It's simple but effective in defining our particular landscape & helping us to avoid risky (middle circle) behaviours, while getting busy with as many outer circle ones as we can.

Go for it & keep checking in here.

T22.

kk76 · Apr 8, 2016

Hi @Rams

You have done your research well. It also sounds pretty committed on your part. I can see you making this work and good on you.

Perhaps bringing your gf in to what you are doing is a nice thing to her. Shows trust and intimacy and that you are sharing your vulnerability with her which she may appreciate.

traveller22 · Apr 8, 2016

+1 kk76. @Rams - if you think she will handle it, opening up about it to her would be a big step. I can't imagine being on this road in secret, without my wife's knowledge.

It's all in the timing of course, but something worth aiming for.

We are warriors.

T22.

Rams · Jul 9, 2016

Ok so I haven't been on here in a long time, so heres whats been up. April attempt lasted 8 days, then relapsed. From there I was watching more P than ever, Uni was getting really stressful and all a bit too much. About 3 weeks after this my grandfather was diagnosed, and passed away within a short space of time, and from there I spiralled down a bit, putting on a face to the world but being pretty messed up inside. It wasn't till I travelled back home, away from Wellington (I live on a small farm) that I was really able to slow down my thoughts, and regain myself. I was at home alone so had ample opportunity for P watching, but after about a week I decided to give quitting another go. 15 days! still quite chuffed about that. When I came back to wellington I started again however, Until 3 days ago. So this time I'm aiming for a month no P. Im feeling good, and Im gunna stay on the forums more because I know they help so much! Here goes!!!!

Junaidi83 · Jul 9, 2016

Dude, try do not watch Porn unless you have ability to guard your mind and commands your lower muscle, even i who managed to do that still getting headache after left my self expose to porn in long time .

Its no brainer you will relapse after looking porn. Lets me explain a bit how and why you will relapse

Normal People (vanilla)

Porn -------------------------->Mind<-------------------------->Body

Porn will send information that right now you are in the middle of intercouse, your mind accept it as a yes and send the signal to the body, from there your "Little brother" will getting erect.

When you touch your "little brother" and start doing fap, your body , mind and porn will sync together and agree that right now you are in the middle of intercouse that why you feel you are inside the movie itself, and all hell break loose

People who trained their mind (monk or priest for example)

Porn ------------------------>Mind--> ??? <----------Body

Porn will send information that right now in the middle of sex, however their mind reject it and told the body to stay normal or simply disconnect it with its body.

Unless there is stimulli from outside, sending signal to the body, the "little brother" will stay down, thus prevent masturbation to take place .

Before you watch the porn, ask yourself did you capable dsync your mind with your body ?, if yes, feel free to watch, if not, better not try it unless you want relapse season 2, relapse season 5 , or relapse season 10 out for you to write in reboot journal.

Techno guys called it brain hack, other say it self control, religious people may say it faith, me ? i call it mind control. Whatever is name the ability was real and very handy if you want break free forever without need to counting days how long you manage abstain on it.

Why ? Because you know it that you are finally free .....
(and cant be relapse even somebody force you to watch porn, because you know you can dsync it to prevent erection happens)

Mark A. · Jul 9, 2016

Rams said: ↑

Ok so I haven't been on here in a long time, so heres whats been up. April attempt lasted 8 days, then relapsed. From there I was watching more P than ever, Uni was getting really stressful and all a bit too much. About 3 weeks after this my grandfather was diagnosed, and passed away within a short space of time, and from there I spiralled down a bit, putting on a face to the world but being pretty messed up inside. It wasn't till I travelled back home, away from Wellington (I live on a small farm) that I was really able to slow down my thoughts, and regain myself. I was at home alone so had ample opportunity for P watching, but after about a week I decided to give quitting another go. 15 days! still quite chuffed about that. When I came back to wellington I started again however, Until 3 days ago. So this time I'm aiming for a month no P. Im feeling good, and Im gunna stay on the forums more because I know they help so much! Here goes!!!!
Click to expand...

Hi! Wish you luck! I am also starting today, and hope to be successful!

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