How did I end up here?

Yes, you're supposed to be here. And you are not whining. You're expressing what you need to say, what you need to unload, what you need to shove out into the light. We understand you. We definitely understand you.

My heart hurts for you. I feel the pain of your every word. How will this help him? It won't. But it will help you.

How you can possibly help him is to provide the information. Show him what you have discovered. It might resonate with him. Even if it doesn't resonate with him, take care of you. You've got wounds that need tending.

Best to you.

 

I am also very moved by your description. Share you journey without any shame or worry. Fidelity is a beautiful thing, and it is anguishingly painful to not see it returned. Don't look down on yourself, because what this must is a path of healing for you--and maybe for both of you?--and not a path a recrimination and accusation. It's a very good thing to start out by putting your thoughts out there. Maybe people here can understand somewhat from our own perspectives. Know that you are valuable. We're here to listen.

 

You'll get no advice about leaving or staying from me, but you will get understanding. I am just starting to see what my porn issues have done to my ex wife. Maybe if either she or I were armed with a small fraction of the insights shared here, things could have worked out so differently. Because neither one of us knew how to talk about the issue, we just didn't.

I think you definitely belong here and maybe in time your husband will join you. If not, at least you will have a deeper understanding of what porn does to a family and you definitely won't feel like your the only one going through this. Welcome.

 

Could it be the porn? Yes.
My bf cross dressed before we met. He was so confused about his sexual identity and it was fueled by porn.
Talk about having your world turned upside down. I posted our story in success stories. I'll try to dig it up and bump it to the top for you.
There is hope if he stops porn. Strangely enough my bf and I made it out of hell and are very happy now.
He said point blank he didn't want to be a weirdo and he was confused as to why he felt the way he did when deep down he knew he was straight.
Society pushes that being different is okay and embrace it. When someone's mind is clouded by porn induced fantasies it's not okay to embrace that. It's all a lie.
If you need to talk shoot me a pm. I will be there for you.
Take care and try not to freak the f out. You'll only drive yourself crazy.

 

I believe you can help him on here by learning the effects that porn has on the mind. You guys can both help yourselves by developing a relationship with jehovah. He will guide you to finding your way out of this hole.

 

I really mean this when I say welcome @faithfulfool, you need to be here in my opinion and you have a right to be here. None of what your expressing is whining, its legitimate venting in my opinion.

What I'm saddened to read from what your writing is what your saying about yourself, what your spouse addiction has done to you. Most important you have to take this in regard before anything else, your self! I'm not going to advise you either about whether you stay or leave, thats a decision you should have the strength to make and you alone. What I will say is that I know you love and care about your partner, but it can't be at the detriment of yourself.

I really understand how someone else can make another feel reduced and half the person they were in a relationship and I want to tell you that you are worth more than this, that you can build that part of yourself again and be a fuller and more liberated person again.

You made the right choice to come here and there are some other women here who will be there for you if you need them. My advice is to get in contact with @fupornwife shes experienced in how P addiction affects relationships.