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I have lost all hope in ending my porn addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Namekian23, Jul 17, 2016.

  1. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, I feel like giving up completely. I'm starting to feel more stress and worry in virtually everything in my life. My new job is stressing me out, my family responsibilities isn't getting any easier, my situation with girls isn't making me happy, and a whole bunch of other shit. When I first started Nofap in 2014, I was much more motivated. I completed 30 days of no PMO three times and I still haven't beaten my record of 39 days. I feel like this website isn't helping me as much as I thought it would. I really feel like this is a battle that I must face on my own.

    I'm unhappy living with my parents; I'm 28 years old who has never had a girlfriend. Even though I'm pretty successful in most areas of my life, porn addition, on the other hand, is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to overcome!!!!!! I just can't do it anymore. I can't even survive a week without a relapse. Life is getting harder and harder, and I feel there's no use in ending my porn addiction anymore. I've been addicted for 18 years. What does it take to beat this motherfucking thing!!!!

    I don't know....it just seems like ending my porn addiction is meaningless. Or maybe I'm just taking it too hard; I don't know. One thing for sure is that I'm done trying. It's so impossible to even mitigate the negative effects of porn addiction. I just can't do it. How can I when my life is so stressful? I need porn to make me feel better. And the only way I can beat this thing is if my life gets easier again, but I know that's not gonna happen. I'm dealing with stress from taking care of my parents, to my new job, my mental illness, to girl problems, and so on.

    What's the point of quitting my porn addiction?! I think I need something drastic or maybe a miracle. It's even possible I have PIED by now, and since I never had a girlfriend I don't know how my sex life will end up becoming. That's it....out of all the things I've accomplished in my life from getting my college degree to working for a large company, porn addiction is absolutely impossible to overcome. It's superhuman, and I'm not surprised everyone on this website can't even beat it. All these streaks are useless if people just keep relapsing over and over again. As of now, I'm quitting my efforts on ending my porn addiction; it's just impossible to conquer. I'm done trying.
     
  2. Mr. Mind Right

    Mr. Mind Right Fapstronaut

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    Whatever you put out into the universe reciprocates. If that's how you feel and what you believe then yes, unfortunately you will never overcome the addiction. We all know life is good at beating us up and kicking us when we're down. Every man has his own battle to fight, I guarantee though that an addict of porn is lethal. I'm recovering, still have a LONG way to go. I haven't fucked a girl in 8years because of PMO. This shit is unhealthy
     
  3. Be easy on yourself. This shit is not easy but is worth it. Take a break if you need it. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. I believe when you are ready you will be able to do this. My addiction wants me to believe it is impossible to quit. I just have to make it through today. I will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Good luck on your journey.
     
  4. noviceambition

    noviceambition Fapstronaut

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    Whenever I feel under the weather, I always return to doing chores. Chores will never end because it's a form of maintenance, there is always something left to do for you. One of the things that reduced my stress was reducing the things I own. My room is significantly bigger than it was 5 years ago, with the help of removing things that do not really cross my mind. They say that your environment is a reflection of your mind. If you own a lot of things you like but don't need, then get rid of some. Simplify the things you own and watch how you feel. It will feel like a weight has been lifted from your mind. It will feel less busy than it already is. I'm currently looking into a more minimalist lifestyle because I have witnessed the benefits of owning less. Owning less also means spending less, and saving more on things that matter like experiences. Objects like computers give us a reason to stay home. If we spent less time on media entertainment, and more time developing ourselves, then where would we be now? What if we trained ourselves to develop a skill instead of pmo'ing? And what if those skills attracted the likes of others? All I know is that it takes skill to court a woman, but the time that could be used to develop skills is mostly occupied by other activities like PMO. There isn't really a shortcut here.
     
  5. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    30 days no pmo is quite good. i cant make it past a week. and i'm not sure many people outside nofap can go past 30 days.
    even i've never had a girlfriend. having a girlfriend isnt a hallmark of success, at least not for me. i'm not ready yet and so am not looking for one as well.

    nofap in itself wont get us a girlfriend.
     
    Jiten, NotPedro and Namekian23 like this.
  6. mountaingoat

    mountaingoat New Fapstronaut

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  7. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    This site can't give up porn in your place. You have to do the work.

    MOVE OUT. Simple as that.
    Don't blame them for your shortcomings.

    So stop thinking about it. She will come in your life when you stop thinking about having one.
    With or without one, you will still be exactly where you are now IF you don't try to change.
    Break the habit, one day at a time, one hour at a time and you will see a change in yourself.
    If you do not, nothing will change.
    Nothing.

    It's not. You just convinced yourself it is.
    You're your own worst enemy.
    Stop listening to yourself. Work on that, first and foremost.

    I'm seeing a lot of Complaining and NOT a lot of DOING. You need a Drill Sergeant.
    Stop focusing on the bad side of life and just live.
    Life changes by itself once you work on yourself MORE.

    Nobody can work in your place.

    There are a lot of superhumans here who would say otherwise.
    Now you're just building excuses.
    Excuses to fail.

    You want to fail more than you know, because it's so familiar. It's cozy, in a way.
    But it's making your life a living hell.
    There is only one person who can change this. Not your bishop, not your father, not your mother, not God.
    You.
    You are the only one in this struggle.

    If you succeed this, your future Girlfriend will love you for who you are.
    If you give up, you will never meet her.
    Get it?
    It's that simple. Your negativity is what's keeping you down.
    Not the addiction in itself.

    It is your belief that you will fail. This is what gives your addiction wings.
    It is a meager thing, a powerless creature, it cannot survive in and of itself.
    Unless you feed it...

    Congratulations. That inner voice inside yourself is screaming to be heard. Do you hear it?
    That's you, future you, the potentially possible you.

    And you've just killed it.
    Ain't that something?

    But guess what?
    IT can come back. If you believe in yourself.
    You've done 30 days? You want a prize? I did 49. And I failed 102 times.
    Did I give up? Nope, still here.

    Would you rather burn obediently in a self-made hell or would you scream to the Heavens

    'I will not go silently into the Night!'

    Rage. Rage against the darkness of PMO.
    For then, it can never be your master. Keep fighting, never give up. Keep trying new things, keep your mind busy, off porn.
    Keep working out. Keep believing in you, the real YOU. Your higher self.
    Not this obedient trained lab rat that think it cannot escape the Maze.

    You're not a rat.
    You're a brother in need.

    And we are all like you. Here, take my hand. Hear my voice in your head:

    Get up!


    These are my first and last words to you

    Keep fighting.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2016
  8. Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

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    Hello @Namekian23, first of all, it's good to still have you here!

    I support what Boxer477 said: take a break from NoFap if you need so. But don't just withdraw in your shell, keep in contact, maintain support in one form or another.

    We can't tell you how to leave that vicious circle you see yourself kept in. For you the question is where to begin. Maybe you need a therapy, maybe you need to move out, maybe you need to tell the people what you need, maybe you need to begin with a little change ...

    I don't know, I can only assume that it will take some time for you to get your life in order.
    Your frustration, your anger it won't help you to get there. Or only as the first impulse.
    But whatever has happened in the past, whatever you're doing these days, I can tell you: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU WATCHES PORN.
    I wonder, have you even make the step of acceptance? Have you accepted that you're a p-addict?

    So as I see it, there are two ways you can go, depending on your situation.
    Either you try to take your addiction as what it is and focus on other fields of your life. And at the same time make sure you have enough alternative sources of enjoyment and relaxation, bc only relying on P is the worst.

    The second way would be to go back to the battlefield of NoFap, so to speak, and get serious - take that drastic measures you're talking of. Just make it impossible for you to watch porn. As simple as that. I have cut my LAN-cable and soon I will have no internet-connection on my phone anymore. I can tell you, it feels so good not to have to fight any urges anymore and to have a success-guarantee. THIS is stressrelieving.
    jfromcr just posted in "Success Stories" that he's now 6 years pornfree. Quote:
    I dropped some things out of my life that you might think are essential like I don't have a smart phone, I don't go on youtube without my SO knowing about it, and I don't have unrestricted access to the internet.
    The fellow William (aka WilliamOneAndDone) says he has quit and lost all interest in porn.
    Giving up? For me that's not an option (and I'm also struggeling in life). For me the question is: am I a jfromcr-type or a William-type?
    If you need more information or hints in this direction feel free to contact me.

    J.
     
    Sleeping_Beauty and Namekian23 like this.
  9. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I've never seen anybody been that harsh in a while...especially on this website. Even though I'm going through a lot in my life right now, what I've accomplished through years of resilience, hard work, and dedication is something most people can't handle. If things in life weren't hard, then there would be no value. Other than that, I guess the reason why you're hard on others is because you're hard on yourself. Throughout the years, I've learned that people have their limits, and in order to truly help them, you have to understand and show some kind of sympathy. Everyone is different, and no one can always meet your expectations the way you want them to. That's why you need to adapt to people's needs.

    And I guarantee you that if you had the responsibilities and hardships that I've had, you probably have a hard time handling it. And if you're saying I'm such a loser, what makes you think you're any better? This is not the kind of support that I really need. I have more important things to worry about than this-things that actually matter. So if you wanna put me down, go ahead. From where I'm from and the life I've lived, I've made a lot of progress besides overcoming my porn addiction. If you can name me a few accomplishments and responsibilities that you have, compare them to mine and we'll see who has it harder. I try not to pray for an easy life, but rather, I try praying for the strength to endure a difficult one. And trust me, I've endured a lot. Just be careful of what you say around other people, because in reality, you're not really helping anybody.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 19, 2016
    Sleeping_Beauty and Sam91 like this.
  10. Polecat89

    Polecat89 Fapstronaut

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    Namekian23, I can not fathom what you've been through or the daily struggles of your life. Some of our lives may be more laid back than yours. I'm 26 and I still live with my parents too. It's hard. I've seen all my friends move away and live happy, independent lives - something I wish I had.

    I suggest that if you need a break from NoFap - please take it. When you do, please do one thing - study your cycles. Understanding my PMO cycles has drastically helped me to understand all my triggers and how to combat them.

    I don't know if you're religious or not, but I will pray for you if it helps. Sometimes we need love and validation in our lives. I want to give you that love and validation by agreeing that maybe it will be more conducive for you to be away for awhile.

    Taking care of your family tells me that you love your parents deeply. And working for a large company shows me that you are a very hard worker. Also, attaining a college degree also takes a lot of chance and dedication. I went to college for 3 years and quit because I couldn't decide on what I wanted to do, and now I work for my overly controlling cousin and I don't like it at all.

    Ignore all of the negative things you feel these other fapastronauts have said. Everything we do is a choice. Make whatever choice you need to and REMEMBER we will still be here with open arms if you choose to return.
     
    Sleeping_Beauty, Sam91 and Namekian23 like this.
  11. I agree, it's hard, I feel like giving up also.
     
    Sam91 likes this.
  12. Why Do We Fail? Why Do We Succeed? From Manual of Success


    The purpose of the question is to invoke thought.

    We fail at this addiction for a few reasons. One being that the addiction is a secret one. We have the opportunity to bring it wherever we go. Normally with an addiction, drugs for example, one has to actually leave their residence and purchase something in order to get high. With pornography it’s at our fingertips all day and night. Thats also why I feel that this addiction is one of the most difficult kinds.

    I can remember when I came clean to my brothers. I explained everything and they were compassionate, accepting and understanding. Of course they were, they had also suffered similar issues. Coming clean was one of the first steps I took to recovery. But in the end no one else can stop you, it must come from inside you.

    The other reason we succumb to this weakness is self esteem. We don’t hold ourselves highly enough to think that we deserve better. In a sense, the overwhelming number of youth thinking that PMO is normal, probably have low self-esteem. “I’m just me, who cares?” “What does it matter if I run myself down to the lowest depths of thinking and feeling, I’m not important.” These are thoughts I have had and believed them deeply. It wasn’t for a long time that I realized my addiction effected everyone I interacted with. I was curt, sharp tongued, argumentative; a downright asshole. Excessive PMO made me feel low because thats exactly what it does; thats the normal side effect.

    Which leads to why we succeed.

    Holding yourself in a higher light is powerful. But it takes awareness. We must experience enough of the pain before we understand who we really are, which is pure energy, pure light. When we realize how great each of us really is, we can start to take responsibly for our actions. We can see how our actions affect those around us because everyone around us looks up to us in one way or another, its true. Some look up to us for our humor, some see us with a strong work ethic and wonder how to pick up on that, or others may re-enact our demeanor when we are at our best.

    At our best we are unstoppable. When we stay focused and attain right living, right thought and right action, we become what most would define as noble and courageous. We actually defy what culture is telling us is normal. In a way we are stubborn, saying no to the norm, but those wallowing in the norm see us and wonder how they do it, just like we wondered how our role models did it.

    Become your own role model. Become something great, it’s really not that hard to do. Once you understand that greatness is your natural state, all thats left to do is act on it. Claim whats rightfully yours.
     
    Polecat89, Namekian23 and goldstein like this.
  13. Believe in Yourself
    From Manual of Success



    You have immeasurable power within you. What does that mean and how do you get it?

    It means that you are made up of energy. What runs your body and mind, the driver behind the life your in, is pure energy. You are made up of knowing, intuition, responsibility, joy, all of it is you and your natural state.

    How do you tap into that. How do you get the sap from this tree. Believe. First start by believing in yourself and what your trying to do. Everything starts with an initial idea, a first thought. Even relapsing begins with a thought. Take what you want in life and tell yourself it can be done. Say it outloud "I can do this." Because you can if you believe it.

    Tapping into that power, into the real you, is just a matter of being aware it exists and trying to see it. Once we start seeing life through this new vision, we see it more and more. Soon you will notice moments in your day when you could have reacted, but you didn't. You will notice timing to be precise, people react differently to you, life begins to unfold the way you want, naturally.

    Ive seen this and I live this way. There are many ways to go about this. Once you become aware of this truth and start believing in it, you will generally never be able to regress into your old self. There will be slips and falls, of course there has to be, but we no longer get down and disappointed. We use the challenges as stepping stones to become stronger.




    Shame, Regret, Guilt: You Relapsed


    Relapsing sucks, we have all been there. Eventually we hit rock bottom and realize we like the sober version of ourselves and life is more clear. On the path of getting clean there are side tracks, slippery slopes and rough weather. We will relapse over the course of our journey and one thing I used to experience is regret, feeling bad, that moment when you realize you messed up and you will be irritable for the next three days.

    There is no advantage to feelings of guilt, shame, regret and anger. These are natural side effects when we slip and become the fallen again, but in and of themselves they hold no actual benefit, no advantage.

    Do yourself a favor and cheer up. Stay positive. Exuding self confidence is reassuring, feeling angry or frustrated could possibly lead to a chaser and binge. "Well, I might as well finish the day with another fap since Im down again." No, not today. If we relapse we try even harder. We don't go backwards and binge.

    As we climb this difficult mountain, we must expect difficulties and set backs, its going to happen. But how we make up for it, how we get back up to fight another day makes all the difference. There is a great learning in a relapse. It proves to our subconscious what it might have doubted. Again and again we learn what makes us happy and what doesn't.

    Success is inevitable. Yes, I truly believe that. I believe we are all moving towards success no matter what. The quicker we can get back up, the sooner we can throw that next punch. To those that just relapsed, or recently relapsed or edged to porn, let us take a quick look at what to learn. We can use darkness to inspire us, we can use motivating light to keep us from going dark, but sometimes we need to just step back and think about it.


    Instead of pumping yourself up and getting motivated, which is fine, think on the situation as a learning experience. Now that it is over we can use reason and logic to determine if what we did was good. Basically you spent some time looking at people have sex. Generally the scene doesn’t change and is repetitive. No one doubts the enticing factor of the actors, no one doubts that. On the outside they have nice features, and we want to see them without clothes. Right?

    So what is the problem? Well generally for an addict this means binging, opening the floodgates and blowing the whole PMO cycle out of proportion and never stopping until drained and exhausted. Life is affected after that, in a negative way. We aren’t our normal selves and we used to feel better.

    The current relapse is good. Why? Because it reminds us why we are here. For those of us that have not relapsed in a while, we feel good but eventually we too will get complacent and used to just feeling our normal awesomeness. Everyone must be cautious. Knowing we are addicts means we can’t simply enjoy the same luxuries as those who don’t have an issue. We should get rid of apps on our phone that easily connect to porn or get past porn blockers. We should avoid spending an unusual amount of time online as we will tend to start searching. We should not use the web at certain times of day, specifically at night.

    Use your last relapse as a critical thinking moment. Analytically break it down into parts. What did we really do and how great was it? Also, ask yourself what is the best it can possibly get. Really, what is the limit to porn and relapsing. Does it get better and better as we get more skilled? Or is it something that actually hurts us over time and stays the same in terms of enjoyment. Actually in my experience porn desensitizes me to the old scenes and I constantly would search for something even more extreme, like rape porn. Of course, in real life is that something I enjoy? Rape makes me sick to think about, but in the porn world it is ok? Does that make sense?

    Quite literally an addiction is insanity. We repeat the same thing over and over again, expecting the result to get more fulfilling. Instead it gets worse and it isn’t something that only affects us. After a relapse we are kind of “off” that day, not really sharp. We can heal quickly if we don’t binge but we’re addicted, binging is going to happen.

    Remember that motivation and inspiration are good, but it is not the be all to recovery. We have to use a multitude of skills to overcome this habit, and to overcome every other challenge in life. There is no set time for any one tool. We need wisdom to guide us, to help us choose which tool to bring out of our arsenal. Wisdom is the timely application of knowledge.

    We have gained much knowledge from our last relapse. Learning from the experience means using that knowledge to better ourselves on another occasion, another test. Once you apply that knowledge when needed, you have used wisdom. Each time we use wisdom we become wiser. Wisdom does not take time. There is no “wisdom timeline” that we use to become the sage. We simply observe the current moment with peace and calm then act from that calmness.


    Why Can't I Do This?


    What if you are not succeeding? Day 1 over and over again.


    Constant relapse and binging is usually due to low self-esteem. Most of us have been misguided over the course of our lives and have been told who we are by the people around us. Parents, teachers, siblings, friends, neighbors, any and everyone who can speak has told us something about ourselves, even things we didn't think we were. That is called the social mirror, it is your reflection that people think they see. The social mirror is wrong.

    Most of the time the people around us are projecting their insecurities, fears, regrets and remorse onto us. It's called projecting. They do this without really knowing. Someone says “Oh, you can't do that. Ya, I tried already, didn't work." Yup, bullshit. People generally don't feel good when they see someone else succeeding at something they have tried to do before and failed. So they project their own self-doubt and low self-perception on you and slowly it builds in your own mind as who you are.

    The social mirror is based on false information. You are not those people and you are not what they said you were. Even the good stuff can sometimes be a projection! I know, really? Well it has to be true if the first parameter is true. But guess what, you are not the social mirror. You are you and no one else can take that away. No one else can change the fact that you exist and matter. Maybe you haven't actually done a whole lot in life, maybe you’re just too young. But this is true for everyone, there is an unlimited amount of potential in you. Right inside you is limitless, there is no end. You can do and be whatever you put your mind to. Be careful though, because that means you can gravitate towards character traits that pull you down.

    Do not be a product of the social mirror. Do not be swayed by things outside yourself. You are in control. Am I projecting my attitude on you? No, what I am saying is not specific to one person. That is how you can tell someone is projecting on you. Ask yourself: "Is it just me that can be affected here?" If someone is saying something is wrong with you on a personal level, it is a projection. They don't know you. They only know their own experience.

    Be wise. Don't even be swayed by me saying you’re limitless. Feel it inside you and experience it for yourself. Don't just listen to good motivation, actually be motivated. Go out there and get what makes you content.

    Constant relapse is also due to not ever thinking you were going to stop. There has to be a real, unshakable resolve to stop. In the beginning we dance around the issue. Eventually our search for porn starts again and we go through what could be months of validation for it. Also that means we haven't gone too far down in the mud. You haven't realized you're an addict at that point, but maybe you think you should stop.

    Yes eventually we have to have a firm realization that we are addicted and we do want to stop. We have to want it bad, like a hunger or thirst. It has to be your mission all day and all night. This isn't for the faint of heart. An overweight person doesn't improve their health by thinking about it every now and then. They get up with the idea in mind that their whole day is centered around their new diet, their new exercise plan, their new shopping routine. Everything must be it. It has to be for success. You have to be ok with the fact that pornography is no longer part of your life. It has to be that way.

    This is a long post. It has been building up over the past few days. I know you are amazing. I wish you knew that too. Someone out there right now envies you for something. Someone wishes they could have some aspect of your character. Without even realizing it, people depend on us. And if this is just projection, then I'm projecting the most loving, warm, heartfelt feeling right at you. I am blasting you with all the love I have got. Because you do matter, you are important, you will change someones life one day, you will get what you want, it is only a matter of positive self-perception and hard work. You are capable beyond understanding. We all are.
     
    Namekian23 and goldstein like this.
  14. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the kick in the ass. I do appreciate it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2016
  15. Dendrite

    Dendrite Fapstronaut

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    @Namekian23, I've had this thing with me for over 2 decades. I'm new here, but I've got a bit of life experience, so if you don't mind taking advice from an older guy, here it is:

    It's all interrelated.

    I've succeeded wildly at most things, but PMO is still killing me. And it's interfering with the things that really do matter to me. No matter how far I get in other areas of my life, it's always there, interfering with my thoughts, interfering with my actions, interfering with my life.

    Now that doesn't mean that life has to stop while you deal with it. But I'll tell you this much: no matter how much progress you make in other areas, it'll be conditional progress. It'll be conditional on what this damned beast wants you to do, on what it makes you do. And the sooner you get it under control, the sooner you'll be able to make more progress, faster.

    (On a side-note ... is it possible? I know it is. It must be. That's not belief speaking - that's fact. People have done it before, and I'll be damned if I can't do what a million other people have done. I'll need to find my own way, but I'm fine with that. We all make it to the top of our personal Everest in our own way. Simply seeing someone standing up there, flag waving, is enough for me to know that it can be done. And once I know that it can be done, I darn sure know that one day, with enough blood and sweat and tears, I can do it.)
     
    Namekian23 and Jodo Kus like this.
  16. TheDancingPotato

    TheDancingPotato Fapstronaut

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    You're point is absolutely valid, I m being harsh and I m not feeling sorry for what I've said. We all failed and continue to fail but giving up it's like wasting a very big part of your life for nothing. You can look at all of my posts and see how supportive I am to people and how I want to take the role to really help them. The thing is the only person who can change you is yourself ( I can show some support and that will help your process which is what I'm doing trough my posts). I can only help people who can help themselves. You are completely right and I may not feel sorry but I hope that I didn't offended you. Next time I see a post similar to yours, I will avoided because it's just wasting my time ( your decision is yours and yours only, I can't help that and I really don't want to show sympathy in those cases but no matter I shall respect your decision). I wish you an amazing day!
     
  17. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your understanding man. It's good to know that we have some similarities between us. From what I'm hearing from everyone, I think taking a break from Nofap is a good idea. This place is for people who are seriously committed to ending their porn addiction once and for all, and right now I don't have that mindset. Since I have so much going on, taking a break is good step towards my recovery. Thanks for your help. I think when I come back, I'll take Nofap more seriously.
     
    Polecat89 likes this.
  18. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry about it and thanks for apologizing. That made my day go by a little easier. I believe that you do support other people like you supported me and my other post last week. Furthermore, everyone is telling me the same thing: Take a break! That's what I'll do. Nofap is a place where people like you are committed to ending their porn addiction once and for all. Right now, I'm not in that same mindset as you and the rest of the Fapstronauts. I think maybe a month or more is a good start. Right now I'm just discouraged by everyone's successes or dealing with their other problems. But yeah, thanks for your support man.
     
  19. m87

    m87 Fapstronaut

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    Man we all know it's not easy. For some of us, this is the hardest thing that we may ever have to do.

    I started looking at porn when I was about 13 or 14 years old. I'm 29 now, so I've been addicted for about fifteen years. In that time, I've:
    - Attended and graduated high school
    - Attended and graduated college
    - Met my wife and got married
    - Held down a variety of jobs
    - Had my first child with my wife, and my wife is pregnant with our second.

    Here is how porn has poisoned all of that:
    - High School: I would stay up all night long and look at porn. I would look at porn instead of doing my math assignments, which caused me to get a low grade in my math classes - which were most difficult for me - when I could have used that time mastering a topic that I found challenging. Instead of going out and meeting girls, I would look at porn, which led me to seek porn instead of girls at that age. I never dated or had a girlfriend in high school.
    - College: I did well in college but I would also be up late at night, doing the same thing. Also - the college experience of meeting girls and dating - I never had a girlfriend in college because I used most of my "sexual energy" on porn instead.
    - Met my wife and got married: I've lied to my wife so many times about my porn usage that I've come very, very close to being kicked out of my own house. Instead of having sex with my wife, I would look at porn and never have sex with her. She would make all the moves. And I can't tell you how many times that, due to PIED, I would simply lose my erection and not be able to have sex.
    - Held down a variety of jobs: I would look at porn in the bathrooms at work. I put myself in so many situations that could have gotten me fired, if anyone found out, and it's a miracle that I wasn't.
    - Had my first child with my wife: Lastly, how can I teach my son how to be a man if I am beating off so often to virtual women online that I can't even respect my wife enough to tell her the truth? How can I help him when, God forbids (and it will come), that I have to talk to him when he first looks at porn without being a total fucking hypocrite myself? If worse comes to worse, how can I be a good father if my wife decided to file for divorce (for good reason) and I only saw him every other week or on weekends only?

    The thing is, you can say that life is stressful, it's hard to move forward, I'm in x situation and want to get into y situation and stopping my porn usage is secondary to all that - but the fact of the matter is that porn poisons everything. Quitting porn isn't just for you. It's for the future women in your life. Your future children. It's not just about you. If you want to move forward and get to a place that is authentic, honest, good, and real with any human relationships you hope to have in the future - quitting porn must be the paramount concern in your life. That's something that I wish I knew years and years ago.
     
    Viador likes this.
  20. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    You should really move out from your parents. Start a new life. Look for your own goals, and become your own boss.

    And besides, a 28 year old man living with his parents is not attractive to women. Women are attracted by men who have clear goals in life, and who know what they want.
     

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