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Asking the women: "Dominance" v. "Submissiveness"

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Bartimaeus, Jul 15, 2016.

Do you prefer to be submissive to your mate?

  1. No, I need to lead. Always.

    1 vote(s)
    16.7%

  2. Almost always no, but occasionally it's nice for my mate to take over.

    1 vote(s)
    16.7%

  3. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Whatever works.

    2 vote(s)
    33.3%

  4. Almost always yes, but sometimes I like to run the show.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%

  5. Yes. Take me now or lose me forever!

    2 vote(s)
    33.3%
  1. Jul 15, 2016 #1
    Bartimaeus

    Bartimaeus Fapstronaut

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    So there's a fair amount of literature out there suggesting that most ladies like their mates to take the lead and actually find enjoyment in being "submissive"---not in any violent or disgusting sense, but simply yielding to a more assertive lover.

    This literature---much of it designed to train men on how to be more "dominant"---seems to get pretty rave reviews from women. Most of the literature points to romance novels, 50 Shades, etc. as further evidence that most women, though they want to be equal and treated with respect in all areas of life, do prefer to yield to a more assertive lover when it comes to romance.

    Wondering how the women of our community feel about this.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2016
    Bartimaeus, Jul 15, 2016
    Bartimaeus, Jul 15, 2016
    #1
    lifebythedrop likes this.
  2. Jul 17, 2016 #2
    Bartimaeus

    Bartimaeus Fapstronaut

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    Bueller?
     
    Bartimaeus, Jul 17, 2016
    Bartimaeus, Jul 17, 2016
    #2
  3. Jul 17, 2016 #3
    ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

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    LOL. Your Bueller reference reeled me in and literally had me laughing out loud.

    I do like being dominated, yes. Not every time, no, but sometimes. But I find I mostly think I want it rough. When it actually gets painful, even a little, it's not quite what I imagined.

    Since I'm now reading "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" about karezza, I think what I like about male dominance is the need it implies. If I were getting that feeling, that he needed me, in more tender, bonding type behaviors, maybe my interest in dominance would be less. I'm starting to get that type of thing and as we continue testing karezza I think my need for dominance could disapear. We'll see.

    PS I never read 50 shades and I never intend to!
     
    ILoathePwife, Jul 17, 2016
    ILoathePwife, Jul 17, 2016
    #3
    lifebythedrop, Bartimaeus and zauvek like this.
  4. Jul 17, 2016 #4
    feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

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    Crap. This thread is a bit of a trigger for me. I have a major dominatrix fantasy

    But that's OK. My mantra did the trick. "Lust and fantasies = pain and suffering"

    So I guess this thread is basically "Cue exposure therapy" for me....practice for my new mental pattern.
     
    feo1966, Jul 17, 2016
    feo1966, Jul 17, 2016
    #4
  5. Jul 18, 2016 #5
    Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    I'd rather be submissive 90% of the time. My man like me Dom... Ahhh!!
    So I'm more aggressive. The things we do for love. :p
     
    Rav70, Jul 18, 2016
    Rav70, Jul 18, 2016
    #5
    lifebythedrop and Bartimaeus like this.
  6. Jul 18, 2016 #6
    Bartimaeus

    Bartimaeus Fapstronaut

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    Have you tried being dominant in demanding that he dominate? Win/win?
     
    Bartimaeus, Jul 18, 2016
    Bartimaeus, Jul 18, 2016
    #6
    MsPants and lifebythedrop like this.
  7. Jul 18, 2016 #7
    Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    Of course. :p
     
    Rav70, Jul 18, 2016
    Rav70, Jul 18, 2016
    #7
  8. Jul 19, 2016 #8
    lifebythedrop

    lifebythedrop Fapstronaut

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    Yes! I want to feel needed protected loved wanted!
     
    lifebythedrop, Jul 19, 2016
    lifebythedrop, Jul 19, 2016
    #8

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