How Porn ruined my Marriage

Being addicted is like being in a fog: we can't see clear.

I am a veteran to PMO (decades) and a newbie to NoFap (since 7/12/2016); and yet during these 8 days of no P much of the fog has lifted and I can see a lot clearer, and there's a lot to see; especially looking at my life in retrospect.

I am older, I've been married twice, and twice divorced. And now I can see that Porn ruined my second marriage.

I got married that I was not addicted to Porn, but I became addicted to it right after, like many other people, my porn addiction was related to getting high speed internet.
I wanted more sex and better sex, and my inexperienced wife could not give it to me; I used to say that she was a prude, and maybe she was or was not, I don't know because my standard of measure was Porn. Who can compete with Porn?
A few years into my marriage I got a lover, a married woman, and with her I has some wild sex, not much, but some. I remember we used to do it in her office, and if her husband called she would pick up the phone and talk to him while I was inside her.
We would meet at lunch, and she would give me oral while in the car, either parked or driving. We would also get turned on by me arriving to her house a few minutes after her husband had left and we would do it in her bed, the same bed where she and her husband had slept.
Twisted, I know. It was fueled by OUR appetite for wild sex. I don't know if she was into porn, for sure she was into wild sex and her husband was not the type.
That lasted a couple of years.
I had a few more affairs and each one of them was with wilder and wilder women; some of them told me that were curious about porn, chances are that they were into porn without admitting to it, I did the same.
As time went by I was able to spot and hook up with wilder and wilder lovers, we would do it while watching porn, we would make our own porn too. All the while sex with wife remained the same plain vanilla, and I wanted more and more from my wife and she could not give it to me. We had constant fights about everything, now I know that it was my sex-fueled like, in a twisted sort of way, I loved my wife and I wanted her to give me porn-like wild sex, but that was not her; all the while my addiction to porn would increase more and more, making me want more and more sex, wilder and wilder sex.
The last couple of lovers during my marriage did me in: these 2 women were more beautiful than porn stars, and into porn-like sex. We did the wildest things ever imagined and that increased my expectations from my wife; up to the point that I broke up with my wife because I could not bear to be with her without the quantity and quality of Sex that I needed.
How fucked up is that?
After the divorce I got myself a Long term girlfriend that, according to my friends is the carbon copy of my second wife: same body type, same personality, same looks and plain vanilla sex. I continued to get lovers on the side, often married women, and that has led me to really become addicted to porn, addicted to sec, and with PIED.

I look back and I realized that if it wasn't for porn that artificially raised my expectations of sex I would be happily married to my second wife.

Just wanted to put it out there. My wife never knew about my porn addiction nor about any of my affairs.

 

Hello @WatchMeRise, interesting comment.
You talk about guarantee... LOL, there are no guarantees in life except death taxes and... fapping to porn? LOL, it's a joke, then again......

I don't agree nor disagree with your comment, you made a lot of statements that are somewhat personal and yet broad at the same time; good to stimulate a conversation of some sort. We all have expectations from our SO (Significant One). My subject was a but hyperbolic because... well, just because.
There's some truth to it. I had expectations of my second wife regarding sex that she could not give me, I know that now. I did get my expectations met and then some from other lovers and now, after the dust has settled, and I am twice divorced, recovering from a Porn addiction, struggling with a Sex addiction and with PIED. PIED is very ironic, like a joke of nature.

So, looking back I wish I have never had my Porn addiction, my Sex addiction would not have escalated, and I would have been content and happy with my wife #2 whom I loved and whom to this day still loves me.

And I know this is 20/20 rhetoric, rambling of a 50+ dude reflecting on his life.

Life goes on.

The bigger issue on hand, pun intended, is what to do with Porn. I do believe in the First Amendment and Freedom of Speech, on the other hand Internet Porn is pervasive and addictive.
Regulation is not the answer.
I do believe that information is the answer. Read my post Porn Addiction / PIED: what we can all do to help

 

I quit Porn, I am avoiding Masturbation, I broke up with my Lover on the side, but I didn't quit Sex, not just yet, I had Sex with my girlfriend last night.

And while it's useful to read everyone's experience do not let one single data point determine your worldview. Also keep in mind that as mush as we want to be honest with our testimonials, we are all biased and we don't even know. I don't know what mi biases are, but I am sure that they are there.

Keep on reading, stay away from Porn, and share of your experiences and thoughts in your own journal!