Is it a relapse if I started to fap but stopped myself?

I don't think so... but best not to push it or further tempt the one eyed trouser monster out of the cave!

 

The last thing you need to do is fall into scrupulosity. Count it as a victory and move on.

 

Of course it's a relapse. You intentionally watch pornography

 

The fact that he stopped would show that he didn't give 100% consent to the idea of watching porn and masturbating. Sounds like he was going through the motions while still battling the temptation at the same time. I've had moments like that during my drug use. Loading the crack pipe then putting it to my mouth all the while screaming in my head STOP! STOP! STOP! It's addiction people. You can't view yourself as if your willpower is perfectly intact. With addiction our willpower has been greatly reduced, so there are going to be instances of battles like this during recovery. I say treat it as a victory. It would have been incredibly difficult to stop once you've started and the fact that he did stop should be celebrated.

 

Except when you where about to smoke the pipe you stopped. He didn't. Watching porn is a relapse. If he had typed in the website in the search engine and stopped then that wouldn't be a relapse. But he watched porn..

 

What's the difference...? I mean, if he has a crack pipe to his mouth, he's gone through the motions of procuring his crack (searching the net for some porn), loading his pipe(loaded his porn movie).... and getting it to his mouth... it's an equivelent.... he's set it up, he's pulled his pants down (metaphorically) and then stopped himself....

 

Because viewing porn IS the analogy of smoking crack. If you smoked a little crack then stopped, you still relapsed.

 

I'm not sure we are going to agree on this one....

 

I've gotten to the point where I'm lighting it and inhaling, and watching it build up, but then throwing the pipe before getting an actual hit. I didn't count that as a relapse even if I got a small amount. If I held such a strict view I probably would have never made it out of that addiction. I don't think we understand the harm we do when we count instances like this as relapses. It leads to people being so strict that they just give up simply because their victory wasn't 100% perfect/ideal.

If 467buddy treats this like a loss, he will stop fighting during moments like this and that's the real tragedy. His fight was a victory plain and simple. If you say otherwise then you kill his hope to continue fighting during these times because he will say "oh what's the point? I've already relapsed I might as well O." Is that really the message we want to send over 5 seconds of P&M?

 

It's just that he intentionally watched porn which according to the counter is a relapse.

 

....and roger intentionally loaded and fired up his pipe. Honestly... we are not going to reach a consensus here, you have one view... and i, the other!

 

A quick suggestion, have separate counters. One for m all the way to O and one for edging, for example.