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Need motivation!!!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Helplessnomore, Aug 3, 2016.

  1. Helplessnomore

    Helplessnomore Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, I came to know about the NoFap community around April, and this is the first time I am posting something here in the forums. Tried initially to abstain from PMO, but only got far as 6 days. Man, I get so horny that I can't stop thinking about sex with different girls. I am 20, in college. I have to relapse so I can focus on my studies, but therein I also lose my motivation to do stuff. Read all about effects of abstaining from PMO, causes and effects of PMO, but still have no fucking clue as to how to control myself. One idea I got was to beat the little guy with something hard, so I can't even M, but I don't think that would be a good idea. BTW, I am setting a 90 days challenge. Although I M every single day, and sometimes more than once or twice or thrice, but i have to do it. I have to complete this challenge.Any ideas or help?
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2016
  2. andreasGER

    andreasGER Fapstronaut

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    You are 20 years old and in college. Lots and lots of distractions every day, I guess (I remember my days in the university in germany).

    The only thing we can actually kind of can get a grip on (over time!) is ourselves. You are your own man, like it or not^^ You alone decide what you do or dont. Take care of yourself. Take responsibility for yourself. One baby step at a time. It hurts, it really does. But the poison must be spilled before the healing can begin, so to speak.
    I believe everyone is able to find ways for him her self to become a better person. I used (and still do from time to time) the nofap app as an instant go to, when things get rough, among other things.
    Statements like "There might come a day when we give up and beat off, but it is not this day" "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse" really helped me, to focus myself on me. I found my ways of helping and healing myself with a lot of help, nofap, therapy, family and friends.But it is we ourselves who have to start walking.

    I think nofap is not just not to pmo. It confronts you with yourself.

    I believe the following: In the end nothing ever should stand between you and yourself and your very own journey that is your life. Nothing. And this you have to figure out on your own. And I think, it is the best and most rewarding journey one can ever take on.

    Best of luck to you!
     
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  3. Helplessnomore

    Helplessnomore Fapstronaut

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    Nicely written andreasGER. Yes, you are right,I am responsible for myself. Until now, and probably still now, I've blamed somethings out of my control, when they were in my control, to some extent. But some days happen to be so horrible that you lose control, and relapse back to PMO.
    Those days are the sucker for our life energy. Will keep trying and not give up. Going to try meditation, as scientists say 8 weeks of meditation,
    The structure of your brain changes, you become more intelligent, memory increases, and etc etc. Will keep updating.


    Day 2: Spent almost the whole day in college. Now that I am alone, man I am getting these urges.
     
  4. Oneness

    Oneness Fapstronaut

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    Divert your attention immediately to something else. Get up and channel the energy you'd spend fapping into anything you want.
     
  5. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    can you expect a 2 inch domino to make another domino in size of Eiffel to fall ? Hell no, but you can expect a 2 inch domino make another 3 inches (50% taller) domino fall and so on , if you keep this dominos to number 23 you have a domino as tall as eiffel number 57 is in height of moon and all you need to do is to make first 2 inch domino fall.

    you may think of all things you want to do in life and say im not even 10 present there, i have no idea how to go there and be there but all you need is beginning with small steps and then by getting feed back you become passionate about what you do and of course you'll find so called Motivation, motivation is not a magical power doing little things for big goal has magical power



    this one looks more impressive :

     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2016
    Helplessnomore and andreasGER like this.
  6. andreasGER

    andreasGER Fapstronaut

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    so true, mankiam33!

    @Oneness: exercise :) I always go jogging, if I feel it gets critical. And I run till Im tired. Over time, it gets easier because you grow real strength, mentally and physically. One step at a time :)

    good luck!
     
    Helplessnomore, Oneness and Napav like this.
  7. Napav

    Napav Fapstronaut

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    Get involved in some activities... pick some hobbies.. do it regularly.
    All the best man
     
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  8. Oneness

    Oneness Fapstronaut

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    I agree. As a suggestion to help you mix up your jogging. Try HIIT, more specifically 30 seconds sprints with a 90 second rest (at 70% power) 10 times. I also lift and I find between these 2 things i've built the best body i've had in years. Finally allowing myself to have the testosterone level that I should have and letting my bodies chemistry rebalance has helped me put on some crazy amounts of muscle.
     
  9. darkenedverse

    darkenedverse Fapstronaut

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    First, congratulations on making the decision to a NoFap lifestyle. Second, I would challenge you to change your perspective. Whenever you tell your brain "I won't do something", you immediately get resistance. Your brain and body have gotten used to a habit (in this case M). The way to break out of this habit is to develop a new habit for your brain to latch onto. You start that by replacing one habit for another instead of trying to force yourself. Start off with one day of NoFap. Just notice what's going on and what's happen. If you succeed, decide on a challenge (start off small) and continue forward. If you mess up, use 1 day as your first challenge. In the meantime, look around for a new habit to get into and become more aware of your thinking process when you encounter triggers (and you will encounter triggers!).
     
  10. darkenedverse

    darkenedverse Fapstronaut

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    I love what you are doing. It's something that I've been posting on this site often: Don't try to force yourself out PMO habit, replace that habit with something that will inspire you and tap into some endorphins. Congratulations on your progress!
     
  11. Helplessnomore

    Helplessnomore Fapstronaut

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    Hi again guys.
    @Oneness , @andreasGER , @darkenedverse @Napav. Yes I am trying to replace my habit. Started Gymming, and will try to include Jogging as an emergency workout. Yesterday came close, but when I saw all of your posts later on, I got strength to distract myself. Thank you.

    Day 3: Started the day with some ahem thoughts, went to college, came home early, and succesfully kept myself occupied. So far, great.
     
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  12. darkenedverse

    darkenedverse Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on your progress @Helplessnomore. Celebrate your awesomeness but hold the line. You are taking steps to align with the person you want to be! Take it one day and one decision at a time.
     
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  13. Oneness

    Oneness Fapstronaut

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    Come on here when you feel like doing it, that's what I do. Read the inspirational success stories. Not to mention the fact that the community on here are incredible. Nothing is too taboo to talk about and there is such a resource of knowledge to pull on, so many people have walked the path and documented it.
     
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  14. darkenedverse

    darkenedverse Fapstronaut

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    That is the reason that I made chatting on this forum part of my NoFap practice. There is always something you can get inspired about and something new you can learn.
     
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