1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

How did you arrive to NoFap and to the realizaton that you were addicted to P?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by larrylarrylarry, Aug 4, 2016.

  1. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    I know I am smart, objective and stubborn.
    But I researched and fought my ED for well over a year by way of medical doctors, magic pills (expensive prescriptions), special diets, special foods, all sorts of supplement.
    And during this period a few times I came across PIED but I dismissed with "Nope, not me" because.... denial? Cluelessness?
    I didn't watch Porn on a daily basis, well almost daily, but I surely watched Porn Substitute on a daily basis.

    So, I am curious: how did you get here?
    What prompted you to seek help? And for what?
    And what made you realize that NoFap was the answer/cure for you?
     
    ShotDunyun and iHappy like this.
  2. bearbones

    bearbones Fapstronaut

    156
    1,043
    123
    I found this site while looking for porn on reddit. I can only attribute that to some kind Christmas miracle.

    I had started addressing my porn addiction after it nearly destroyed a relationship with the woman of my dreams, who I someday hope to call my wife. I actually chose porn over her and was on a binge in the aftermath of the fray and realized that I was exhibiting insane, addictive behaviors and that I needed help. I reached out to a Catholic men's group that addresses healing and sexual issues and the formation of strong, healthy men. After about four months of consecutive time without PMO, and reuniting with my lady, I had a relapse about a week before Christmas.

    I was searching for porn and a link popped up for Nofap and I just accepted it as some kind of divine intervention and something that I should probably check out. I read through the "about" section and checked out the forums, and that night I didn't look at any porn. The next day I signed up, and continued to network and get active and completed a reboot.

    After my reboot I kinda just coasted, and began attending 12-step meetings for sexual addiction. After almost 6 months of time without PMO, I slipped and had a full on relapse over the course of about 3 weeks. I came back to Nofap because I know it worked (for me, anyway). I am now well on my way to another reboot and today I have 3 weeks without PMO. I am writing this because I believe I have to give it away to keep it. It helps me to help others, because I've been in your shoes and this is something that I've found really works. If I can get free of PMO, even for just a day, anybody can.
     
  3. I've known about my addiction for well over a decade. Every test or checklist I encountered came back with a positive result - I was a sex addict (specifically porn, but I have sex addiction as well in light of my history). About 4 years ago, my porn addiction escalated to acting out in real life. My horror at this escalation caused me to escape with alcohol, but fortunately for me I've never been susceptible to alcoholism, so that did not become a problem for me. However, I was not able to completely stop acting out and in some ways that escalated as well. It wasn't until I started working from home a little over a year ago that things took a dramatic turn for the worse, although looking back I can see how I was already in terrifying shape. I would find ways to surf porn every day at work, and it got so bad that I was streaming and listening to it through my car stereo on my commutes. When I started working from home, I had absolutely no accountability from my superiors. Daily binges became the norm.

    It wasn't until I found myself surfing porn in the same room as my wife and my children that something snapped in me. They obviously didn't know what I was doing, but my addiction was so bad I couldn't even wait anymore until I was alone. I looked up from my laptop with the video that was playing (volume muted), and I could see my children playing with my wife on the couch, laughing and enjoying life, and all I wanted to do was commit suicide. I excused myself and went to the bathroom and sobbed. The next day I began searching in earnest for some kind of help. My challenge which is still present is my wife has no idea about my addiction. I've somehow escaped attention and getting caught after almost 10 years of marriage. She knows I've searched porn in the past and that I fell to it even recently, but an analogy of what she knows vs reality is akin to her thinking I have minimal anger issues but in reality I'm a prolific serial killer.

    Since that day I first started seeking help, I've been on countless binges. I was able to dial back my porn use so as to keep it in private, but it continued unabated. I found multiple sites that I subscribed to, and one piece of advice I found was journaling as a means to contain urges and allow for more self-reflection. I started a couple of blogs on tumblr, but that was stupidity on my part due to the very nature of what can be found on tumblr. I then downloaded a journaling app and kept that up for a few weeks, but something was missing which I couldn't identify. About a month ago I happened upon NoFap, and I realized what was missing was interaction with others who were struggling as I was. I shifted my journaling efforts to these Forums, and I now find myself in the midst of my longest streak without PMO since I can remember. In fact, if I had to speculate, I would say it's been 9 years because I remember stopping PMO for a considerable amount of time when I first got married, but I don't know how long that streak was and I wasn't in a recovery mindset - more of in a "I'm married now so I need to get my act together" mindset that did not last.

    Is NoFap the cure for me? Not entirely, but so far it has brought me continued success for 25 days, and that's evidence for me to continue.
     
  4. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    WOW dude! What a story!
    I am sure I am not the only one who can say that I saw a lot of my own experience while reading your story; we all have parallels that we ca draw.

    Interesting observation about how interacting with other people has helped you.

    Reading genuine stories like this one helps me in my recovery, similar to you my issue is that I am addicted to Sex, quitting Porn was easy.

    Thank you for sharing bro!
     
  5. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    I guess I've been fapping to porn before fapping was a word. Seems it was just another way to get off when there wasn't anyone to help me along including my wife. I never was to interesting in cheating because it was too intensive, with all the BS, and deception. When I first joined the military and went to Okinawa I was like a kid in a candy store, all the 10 cent beer and $2 pussy any 19 year old could ask for. I even had a steady girl at $40 a month which was the safe way to go with all the VD, etc. on the island. I remember when the VHS tapes came out and then the CDs, and now social media and a whole new brand of porn hustler. I even got hooked by one babe and her tube vids, the Wish List, and all the rest. Even at my "advanced years" I was still able to raise a useable boner, and had even entertained the fantasy of going to Vegas and hooking up with my "porn crush" when I found out she was working as a hooker there for an agency and also on the "stroll" as an independent. A buddy I had served with off and on during my career and was working as a contractor at the local air base, had seen her at Bellagio early one morning at one of the bars, totally wasted and hustling. It took him like two seconds to snap a pic and text it to me. He told me the bartender said she that most of the time she was high and a real pain in the ass. When I heard all that, it totally deflated me and my interest in her disappeared completely. I couldn't even look at her old scenes on the tubes, and my interest in fapping seemed to vanish. I had picked up a religious string bracelet when I had been in Bosnia in 1995 and had gotten several for family members as well. I started wearing it, and whenever I had the desire to look at her scenes or any scenes in general to fap off, I would grab the string and just breathe and say a prayer. I got back to the gym and now with the nice weather am back on my bike and riding the trails averaging 50 miles a week. Seems the only time my hand is on my tool is when I pee. Maybe I should thank my friend, that girl and the string bracelet as well.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2016
    marcpro, MsPants and ShotDunyun like this.
  6. oni543nanog

    oni543nanog Fapstronaut

    14
    5
    3
    Well, i think i'm diferent, my adicction was M, not P, my problem: Everytime that i M one time, in the rest of the day i M 5 , sometimes 6 M in one day, i was unable to control myself, even with or without porn, i was hard everytime, but in this forum i've learned many lesson,and the most important: my goals are diferent than anyone here, after my cure, i've tried some tests, and when i was far from porn, it makes no diference, but far from M, i was other guy, without both, the same efects than without M, today i'm feel in the best moment of my life, confident, happy, and with the superpowers, i'm still watching porn ocasionally, 1 or 2 times in a month before sleep without M, doesn't make any diference in my desire for "real girls", i know the real world.

    Ps: Sorry for my bad english, i´m finishing the High School, but English still hard for me
     
    HappyInTheRain and ShotDunyun like this.
  7. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    Thank you for telling me your story. The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge it. I hope you will do what is necessary to stop doing what is obviously bothering you, and hopefully stop kidding yourself that one thing (P) doesn't cause the other issue (M). Keep coming here and reading about others and gain strength from their stories. Good Luck
     
  8. iHappy

    iHappy Guest

    Heard about this on reddit, decided to do some research and soon I realized that I was an addict. That was like 2 years ago.
    25 days ago I got tired of constantly relapsing and decided to try writing daily journal here, it is working better than I have expected.
    I have been using porn as a way to escape from negative emotions, and that is what was bothering me most. Not to mention the fact that I've become emotionless, it was obvious that I needed to end this.
    Just a word addictions sounds scary to me. I don't want to be addicted to anything.
     
    HappyInTheRain and ShotDunyun like this.
  9. Elchicoloco

    Elchicoloco Fapstronaut

    105
    47
    28
    I read about this site on a book I'm reeading to motivate myself. It was a new horizon for me and I'm really glad I've foun it! I have always known there was something wrong with my habits, since I could not stop fapping for real (I could for a couple of days, then I needed to start over). I have always suffered ED (I mean that I don't remember when I had had a real boner, without porn... and even with porn my penis has never been really up) so was visited by a specialist who checked all the possible organic causes but everything was ok; it had to be my mind. Moreover, this addiction has lead many other problems, such has lack of "social appetize" (I was becoming social outcast) and my humor was always down, I felt depressed, so that my mom come to me with a book called "how your mind can influence your body and your daily life". This made me think about what I had become and I decided to stop. This was just 1 week ago. And here I am.
     
  10. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    Ha! Good old Reddit. I did see PIED on Reddit, and then r/NoFap and then.... here.

    For a long time I was convinced that my ED was caused by food/diet, in my 1+ year of research and experiment I came across mentions of PIED but I dismissed right away "Nope, not me". Then something clicked on 7/12 and.... I suspected seriously that Porn had something to do. The more I read about NoFap the more made sense. Now, a bit over 3 weeks into it I see the very notable and tangible difference, and almost daily improvement: Porn gave me the gift of ED (PIED). WTF/FML.

    Glad to be here.
     
  11. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    Wow! What a story bro.

    Question for you: now that you are only 5 days in have you noticed any tangible improvements in your ED/PIED yet?

    Are you doing hard more No PMO at all?
     
  12. iHappy

    iHappy Guest

    @larrylarrylarry What is scary is that most men's do not even know what is the cause of their problems. So As their doctors, and they can't give them a proper treatment.
    We are really unlucky to live in 21. century. Internet, gaming and porn addiction are common amount young people. Plus they have access to it all the time on their phones. Anxiety disorder and panic attacks are becoming a "normal" thing.
    I guess it will take a lot time until we get some good research about this things and people get educated.
    Of course, we are responsible for our problems. But still, we didn't know anything about the negative effects of watching porn. In fact, I would never realize that I had a problem and that I am an addict if it wasn't for reddit.
    The sad things is that a lot of people still think that is normal to watch porn...
     
    ShotDunyun and Elchicoloco like this.
  13. Elchicoloco

    Elchicoloco Fapstronaut

    105
    47
    28
    I wanted to tag you, but still haven't discovered how to XD

    Well, gotta tell you the truth: I don't feel any of the bad things I've been reading around, yet. But it's still the beginning of the reboot. For example (as you could probabily read on my journal that I will soon add in my description) I noticed that one of my weakness is morning's boner: when I woke up with an erection it's really tough to get rid of it without fapping. This morning I have this big (and hard, luckly :D) problem and I couldn't resist edging a bit (didnt ejaculate). So I have to work on this feelings, but I don't absolutely miss porn, right now. I miss sex, but it's acceptable
     
  14. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    I hear you:

    - I have been to 3 top doctors: 1 GP top in my large metropolitan US city, 1 endocrinologist top in the USA, and 1 urologist #1 top in my large metropolitan US city for sexual health; none of them even mentioned Porn or PIED. Not sure if I would have listened, but if they gave me a 1 page pamphlet to read at home.... I probably would have read it at home in privacy

    - most guys out there don't realize how they wiskey dick, or stim dick or the occasional erection failure is due to Porn.

    I have always had liberal views, I am all for freedom of speech, but.. porn is a problem! I do believe that awareness is the answer, but between the porn industry and the ED prescription industry they have all the money to fight awareness of the dangers of Porn.

    I am glad I am here, and in my own little world I will do what I can to spread the word.
     
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  15. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    I think you brought up a very good point about all the different venues available to porn consumers. Years ago, it was magazines, and "adult" theaters. then it was VHS tapes, then CDs, now the Internet, and social media. On Twitter the big thing now is Snapchat. I did some investigating into this and was amazed. Some girl can compile a Snapchat storyline with 20 second "snaps" up to 20-30 minutes, then ask for a $100 Amazon Gift Card and the "buyers snap handle" then she posts her "story" to all the buyers and they can watch her dildo herself on her boyfriends coffee table on their cellphone for 24 hours at which time the "snap" goes POOF!!! She has never actually said how many hits you get for the $100. Some girls charge $50 for a month's worth, other have other hustles. I'm waiting for the day, that one of these hustlers beats some dupe out of his money and a complaint is made to the IRS. After all, when you publically charge a fee for a service, regardless of how you're paid, it's taxable income. When you start to realize how stupid some of these babes are, no matter how "hot" they are, suddenly they're not so desireable. Of course that's just me. When I started to realize how pathetic some of these "hotties" really are, I moved away from porn/fapping and started looking for a real woman and a real life. Amazingly, it was right in front of me.
     
    iHappy likes this.
  16. Elchicoloco

    Elchicoloco Fapstronaut

    105
    47
    28
    Same for me. My urologist made me do bunches of blood tests (nothing to say about) but, at the end, when we've discovered that nothing organic was going wrong, he started giving me expensive pills and no words about psychological-sexual assistence
     
  17. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    I am all for freedom. Those women want to do that?
    Fine.
    Those guys want to pay for it?
    I am fine with that too.

    Live and let live.

    What makes me think a lot is that for 18 months I googled everything there is to google about ED, and I also used google scholar for scientific papers and.... not much comes up except for crap, spam, and 99% of the scientific studies are made to endorse ED drugs.

    Oh well. I am here, so are you and quite a bit of people, if someone wants investigate their condition (P, PMO, and/or ED/PIED) and they are smart, eventually they will get here and there's enough info that convinced me and you to just go for it.

    I started by trying, I was not sold 100% but I am both stubborn and open minded and now I know Porn gave me the gift of ED/PIED. FUCK THAT!
     
  18. Ineedtostop1234

    Ineedtostop1234 Fapstronaut

    13
    6
    3
    I have been addicted to porn for about 5 years and I was fapping at age 8. I've never really thought about resorting to this website but when I heard about all the results and how this community helped them, I really wanted to see how it helped. So here I am, pretty much on my last straw, and I'm hoping that through this website and my tenacity to stop hopefully I can stop watching porn and fapping to porn
     
  19. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    For me it works. I found myself in a very unpleasant place with porn driven by social media. It became obsessive. I read an article about porn in TIME published in April this year. It directed me to this site and one other on Reddit. Both have really helped me by reading and being able to express my feelings without fear of judgement and ridicule. Keep at it!!!
     
    Ineedtostop1234 likes this.
  20. larrylarrylarry

    larrylarrylarry Fapstronaut

    655
    300
    63
    I had not idea NoFap made it to TIME magazine.
    I googled it and here's the articles for people who are interested http://time.com/4277510/porn-and-the-threat-to-virility/

    EDIT: Available only to subscribers. If someone has a better link, please post it.

    Thank you @zip6331
     

Share This Page