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Identifying the root cause of my porn addicition

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by throwaway31415, Aug 7, 2016.

  1. throwaway31415

    throwaway31415 Fapstronaut

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    I am currently on my way to achieving the ninety day streak, but I was curious to find an underlying cause of my porn addiction. I would greatly appreciate any advice or input on this subject.

    I began masterbaiting around the age of 13/14 and it began with transwomen and trans women. I began with just normally clothed women and progressively made my way to pornography, but every time I would masterbate, I would always think of how I wanted to be that transwoman or trans women. Gradually, I began diving into sissy hypnosis and sissy porn and I have watched that until I stopped the cycle and started NoFap. I have been able to break the cycle, with relapses slowly fading away.

    But I still have this attraction to the idea of being the opposite gender. It may go away with time, but I just wanted some second opinions on this topic.
     
  2. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    transwomen and trans women was the first fantasies of yours? Even without porn? I myself don't even know that "transwomen" or a "chick with dick" is possible to live in this world, before I've met one in porn...
     
  3. throwaway31415

    throwaway31415 Fapstronaut

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    The fantasy was not to have sex with a transwoman or a "chick with dick". The fantasy was to become a female. I guess I looked at transwomen to see what would actually happen if I would choose to 'transition' to the opposite gender.
     
  4. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    But this fantasy was your first fantasy? Even before porn?

    Have you ever MOd to penetrating a girl?
     
  5. throwaway31415

    throwaway31415 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, it was my first fantasy. I do not know what MOd means (newbie) but I have never fapped to women but I have been in a sexual relationships with women.
     
  6. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    MO = masturbating orgasm . Hmmm that is interesting what you wrote... And when you are having sex with a woman what are you thinking about ? I mean you think about how would it feel if you were her , or you think about that you are want to penetrate her ?!
     
  7. throwaway31415

    throwaway31415 Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes, I imagine being in her position and it is a huge turn on and other times, I try to take in the moment and what I am doing, which seems more of a chore.
     
  8. Mindful wolf

    Mindful wolf Fapstronaut

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    It's mines too n I m going with the same problem
     
  9. ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

    If this was around before you started looking at porn, this could possibly be your true sexual identify. Perhaps you feel you are a woman trapped in a man's body. If that's the case, there's nothing wrong with that and its a matter of learning to accept it and be comfortable with it.

    However, it's too early to know that for sure. I suggest you start counseling and continue a reboot. Remember, not every counselor is a good fit for every client. If you don't click, don't waste valuable time and money. Find a new counselor.

    In the meantime, I highly recommend hard mode, avoiding all sexual release as well as porn, MO and sexual fantasy.

    Best of luck to you.
     
    MsPants likes this.
  10. oni543nanog

    oni543nanog Fapstronaut

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    But, you want to be a girl everytime, live like a girl? Or just the moment of Masturbation?
     
  11. throwaway31415

    throwaway31415 Fapstronaut

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    Oni, I have no clue right now. It was almost a constant feeling of a desire to be a girl, and the only thing that would relieve the feeling would be masterbation.
     
  12. throwaway31415

    throwaway31415 Fapstronaut

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    Fupornwife,

    Thanks for the advice. I will keep the hard mode going!
     
    MsPants likes this.

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