My desire for a girlfriend drives my addiction.

Alright you cunt, let's get one thing out of the way. Why do you even think I want to have sex in the first Sex is disgusting.place?

 

@GSarosi yup this is pretty much my experience. Tje only thing i disagree ia about what they cant have. They are always interested in men who are strnger than them and higher social standing always. Never really noticed what they caNt have is what they want. Just that when i used to idolize them it made them go away. Cause i think deep down they know they are just a person like u and i also think they know men primary goal is to have a goal and always be busy building sumthing. All those are the thing she became attracted in the first place.. Moment u turn to a wuss or a groveller goodnight!!!

 

U guys shud take it ez... This insulting isnt giving anyone a new view..... U guys vehemantly disagree so just leave it. He wont agree with u gsarosi and insulting him is shutting it down. Just leave it please!!! Its ok to disagree

 

I know what you are living. Sometimes frustrations of not being able to find a stable relationship triggers back the addiction. However the key is focusing on other things, healthier things. That's what's great with us guys, when we fill our schedule with many other stuffs we can forget addiction (as our minds are able to focus on few things at a time). Do social things, go and help people, go and visit people you haven't from a long time. Not only will you feel satisfied, but you will be able to move away from negative thoughts.

 

Hi Dan,

Much like you, I used to often get into PMO to deal with loneliness. I used PMO as a way to get rid of emotional and sexual desire. It's very time consuming to do that, and you will be wasting that precious time that you could have used for self-improvement. I think cyberlion is 100% correct when he says that you should "Do social things, go and help people, go and visit people you haven't from a long time." It's through some of those social interests that you can possibly meet women who maybe interested in you.

I will admit that I was binge PMOing at least twice a week in spite of my participation in social events. However, I ended up meeting my ex-girlfriend in that process. I am not even conventionally handsome, but she found me interesting because we had mutual interests and I asked her out on a date.

I understand your anger man. I used to have chronic anger issues back in the day, and it usually was because I felt wronged in some or the other way. It was usually quite irrational, but that's sometimes the case with emotions.

The brutally honest truth is that no girl is required to reciprocate interest. She is her own entity, and she can respond in any way she wants. You, my friend, are entitled to nothing except basic human rights provided by law!*

But you can work to get all the good stuff in life! If you are a weird guy like me (I dislike birthdays, anniversaries; obsessed with bio-medicine to the point that it leaks into normal conversation), you may want to tone it down. If you are interested in a long term relationship, I have found that treating your partner as you would like to be treated quite a good advice unlike some of the posters on Return Of Kings. I won't discount their experiences at all because there are ~4 billion women, but they are, quite aptly, bullshit within in my context of long term relationships.

* ( ) Kevin Spacey delivers it quite powerfully. While I disagree with the political ideology espoused in the video and with his argument regarding federal programs, I think the factoid that we "are entitled to nothing [except basic human rights]" is true in personal matters.

 

First off, porn teaches your brain to seek novelty, and women are easy to acquire. You are used to clicking a button and feeling rewarded and excited. Unfortunately, this is not how the world works. The notion that a man can and should sleep around is a myth. We only desire it because we see others doing it and are told that that is what we should want. Women are not a notch on the belt. There are only 2 genders on this planet, and being straight means you are attracted to the other half of the human race. What I am getting at is sleeping around isn't something to be proud of. I know that you say you want a GF, and what I say applies to that too.
Why do you want a GF? Because you are lonely? Because it is about time? Does the world owe you something?

Never EVER enter a relationship for yourself. Doing this means you will see only what you want to see, and only behave in ways that get you what you want. That future GF is worth more than that. Go into a relationship focused on what you can GIVE! How many great experiences do you have that you think would benefit a partner? What skills do you have that would help her? Can you make her a better, happier person? Can you be strong and protect her?

Also, are YOU someone worth dating?
Popular belief would have you think that if you look a certain way outside the norm you aren't attractive. That is crap. Anyone can attractive, but it starts from within. No knocking big girls but this is the example that comes to mind - I have known big girls who are really unattractive. But it isn't really their features. It is more so that you can tell that they don't give a crap about themselves. The way they sit, stand, dress, talk, and the way they take care of themselves. They don't own and accept who they are. And then there are big girls that are vibrant and full of energy and confidence and that is super sexy. She may not be a speedboat but she is a galleon and it is f**king beautiful! hahaha.
You can't do much to change who you are, and spending energy on that worry is pointless. You need to be the best YOU on the planet. You need to be the best guy in the room.
Starting on NoFap is good. How many guys objectify women, watch porn, and jerk off? Loads. You win the round if YOU don't do these things.
How many guys don't look after themselves or know how to dress? Loads! again, you can win that round if YOU do better.
Be the man every woman deserves. Be the man your friends deserve. Be the man your parents deserve. Be the man YOU deserve.

No one else can make you happy. And no one owes you anything.
Be the person others want to be around.

I have been in your shoes. I too am an introvert. I also hate partying, and I have strong opinions which can make people uncomfortable. I rarely socialize and I don't meet too many people. I love my own company and prefer to be alone. But I too have felt lonely. Porn was the easiest way to shake off being depressed. What you are doing is only keeping you stuck. Porn makes you detached which makes you unempathetic to others. It makes you anxious. Ugh there is such a list. K9 you technology. Take cold showers. Read 1 book cover to cover each week, and join a social club, or message someone on here and make new friends. You and your future and your happiness depend on it.

Message me if you want to chat.

 

I feel you.I was depressed for same thing.I litelary wanted to kill myself,Im serius.It was so bad for me,like watching everyone getting girlfriends,boyfriends and enjoying relationships wit no problem was devastating to me.I mean I like to see other people happy now,then too,but it was other thing back then.You need to know that girlfriend,sex,or something like that isnt only enjoyment in life.There are so many other fun things you can do,its just matter of your opinion.Try to get a hobby.It will help.And I would suggest something,and you take it if you want.Start a gym.Its one of most effective cures for depression and things like depression.You will be motivated to try other things and it will relax you,help you to meet more people and to improve relations with current people you know.It doesnt matter if you have 60 KG or 90 KG,you just need to start.You are going to gym to improve yourself.Its just importan to train yourself,to keep yourself bussy.I hope I helped a bit.Im sorry if you already know this things because I dont know your whole story.Stay strong!I know you can

EDIT
And about girlfriend thing...
I never had one too,but its fine.I saw other pleasures in life.
Again,I belive in you,so we all do.

 

maybe the answer you're looking for is not visible to you at this time in your life. Maybe you're not ready for girlfriend. When somebody is lonely and they need somebody else to make them feel good about themselves that is not a good relationship. Because we are putting a lot of expectations and pressure on the other person to make us feel amazing and good. Yet that person also want something in return and if they take care of us the entire time it is not a mutual beneficial relationship..

For example let's assume you do get a girlfriend, what will you do with her? I know the typical answers of hanging out, going out with her, having great sex, and so forth. But what is your end goal? We call her 24 hours a day and expect her to make you feel good all the time? Or do you want her to be like one of the actresses in the porn movies where she's flawless and she never says no and everything is perfect.

I've been with a lot of women and I can tell you it's not all that. They have a lot of camouflage and a lot of makeup and a lot of fakeness to make themselves look glamorous. I don't think it's their fault it's what society expects women to be. You take an average girl and give them high heels and give them a nice outfit put makeup on them get their hair done the nails on their toes done and so forth and he become a different person.

I was a fitness instructor and 90% of my students were females. When you teach a fitness the girls for a minimum amount of makeup on and the hair is usually tied back. You get to know them who they are. They're human beings just like us men who have a lot of challenges in their lives. For example do you know that yeast infections in women are very common? In of the women doesn't shave her legs do start looking like a man's leg?

I think once we realize that happiness comes from within us and we reach this level and then when we have a girlfriend we can have an amazing time. And usually when we are happy inside the women since it and you'll get the best of the best. It's a journey that we all have to go through and maybe this is not the time for you to have a girlfriend. Maybe life has bigger things for you to do before having a girlfriend.

I know what you're going through because when I was 16 I wanted the same thing but it wasn't possible. Now that I'm over 40 years old, and have experienced a tremendous amount of life, I can tell you develop your inner self first and then the women get attracted to you anyways.

Good luck in your journey my friend