Still Objectifying Women During Flatline

This has happened to me before. I remember doing this after getting a haircut. One of the stylist has a particularly attractive "fit" body and always wears tight clothing. After my appointment I was driving home and I remember thinking something along the lines of, "man I would love to F that, she was built for it" (or some other such garbage thoughts).

I think this is just the addict part of our brain seeking novelty and getting it's "fix" wherever it can. Personally I thinking noticing (not staring) beauty is OK but objectifying is not.

I really like this way of thinking that I learned from another Fapstronaut:
This is from @ICDMatrix
"When I begin a mental fantasy, I actively engage to shift my thought to something innocent and non-sexual. When I see a beautiful woman, I think of being loved instead of getting laid. The most important thing is to rediscover my worthiness."

 

@Nirrad90 I guess that depends of the kind of porn you watched. It takes time to undo the damage. I was never in some weird shit, so that part was easy for me. I see women's for what they are and I appreciate the beauty in every single one of them.
On the other hand, I am dealing with different stuff, a lot of anxiety on day 31. Most people feel great after a month but not me.
The point is, we are all different.

 

I'm only two days into my reboot but objectifying women is a huge struggle for me. I can't go anywhere without becoming mentally stuck on a woman with a nice body.

 

Thanks man! I'm gonna put a little faith into the process and hope for the best.

 

I also struggle with this exact same issue of objectifying and seeking to get the "fix" from looking at girls. This triggered me to want to go back and use porn and I just shift my attention to something else in order not relapse and give in to viewing women as sex objects.

 

Another thing: "I think of being loved instead of getting laid." How do you do this. Can you you be a little more specific on thinking about this?

 

Guys we're human. Humans, for all our sophistication and intelligence, are still animals. If you are heterosexual you will be attracted to the opposite gender. If you are homosexual you will be attracted to the same gender. If you are bisexual you will be attracted to all genders. This is biological and evolutionary-I don't think we have much of a choice in the matter.

I did not choose to be a heterosexual male, I just am. So why fight it? I will not beat myself up for finding women attractive, it would be like beating myself up for feeling hungry or tired.

If I see an attractive women, I just say 'Wow she's beautiful' and keep it moving. Rather than 'Man she's hot, she kinda looks like pornstar x, I would do xyz to her-in fact I'm getting so horny I'm going to jack off to this new created fantasy right now.'

I can't always help what or who I see, but I can control what I do with what I've seen. For me, if I see something when I'm out and about the key is to not obsess. In 12 step groups they talk about the 3 second rule its certainly worth checking out. But feeling sexual attraction is normal, please don't feel bad about it...

 

The answer is changing your internal actions. Realise the perverse thoughts are your projection on life. Not reality. The reality is that she is a person with a life, feelings, dreams, ambitions, she's so much more than something sexual, which if you think about it in comparison to life, should be a small aspect to who you or anyone is. Soon enough you'll feel like you did when you were younger and more alive. KEEP GOING!

 

I think @evertryingx captures the idea well:

Taking it further you might try thinking, "wow she's beautiful, that reminds me I should call that girl that I like", or "I should tell my wife how much I love her". I think the important thing is to not begin P influenced fantasies every time you see an attractive person.

 

Yes. Not during flatline, but in the first 90-120 days of my reboot, I'd say, when I was rejecting/not indulging the stuff that I'd sought out on the past, my thoughts went to other areas or fetishes or whatever. It kind of reminds me of my mom's dog. When you have something she wants, she goes through every behaviour she's ever been taught on a loop, hoping one of them will earn the treat. So the addicted part of the brain, in its death throes, was tossing up every sexual idea it could to overcome my conscious resistance, and get its dopamine fix.

So, when this happens, just try to ignore it and distract your thoughts as best you can. Leave the demon on its own to die its slow and agonising death.

 

Try to change those sexual thoughts in the moment they crop up also. As you know lust originates from the mind so if you can check those thoughts into touch then you will heal quicker.

 

Abstaining from porn and masturbation is really hard work sometimes. It trains the Willpower. I like how it shapes my self control. I can choose NOT to look after a bypassing woman, even if my reflex urges me to do so. And when I look I don't go crazy about it. I don't collect pictures of so many women (parts) in my head anymore.

Recently I watched a (stupid) comedy with my gf. One scene depicted many young women in bikini partying. I was overwhelmed. When you don't watch porn anymore, these images seem even "harder", but I just watched without giving it any thought, I just went on. Such images will always strike a chord with me.

Referring to what @evertryingx already said, I think it isn't objectifying when you notice a woman's body and the sexappeal she has on you. Rather it's about showing women respect. You shouldn't stare at them as they were a statue or a picture and you shouldn't neglect that they're citizens and human beings (stating the obvious here).