Own Your Shadow, Know True Freedom & Peace

I'm in a very good space; preparing for my departure to Germany. I've been struggling a lot with the tricky-trio (caffeine-sugar-nicotine). My failure to transcend addiction to these three drugs (which they are if you realise what they do to your brain if consumed excessively on a daily basis) has prompted me to look deeper into my psyche, to look deeper into my inner world and ask piercing questions.

Why do I say I want to quit the trio yet continue to resort to them when I'm stressed? Why do I say one thing yet can't help but feel euphoria every time I crack a can of Red Bull, down a shot of Espresso, gobble down a packet of Wine Gums or inhale and exhale a puff of Shisha/Hubbly Bubbly/Hookah Pipe while watching the cloud of cherry-scented smoke form above my head? Why, why, why?

I came to a realisation.

Every human action is underpinned by a motive. Even if I say - "oh no I don't know why I keep smoking shisha, drinking caffeine or gobbling down sugar", deep down, I perceive to get more pleasure than pain from it and so my behaviour demonstrates this belief. Cognitively I believe one thing - sugar is bad, nicotine is bad, caffeine is bad. Not only is this a mental beleive, but I also feel the negative effects of these substances on my body. The hangover-like mornings after drinking enough caffeine to stop someone else's heart. The endless craving of shisha, making my present moment almost unbearable and the very oxygen that gives me life seem irritating, and the headaches I get from the sugar rush of devouring a handful of jelly babies or gummies. Yet in my unconscious mind these things are oases where I can escape to when living life or pursuing a goal gets tough.

So I realised I had to face myself. I had to look within and stop lying to myself. Why do I feel better when I consume these substances? Why do I trust them more than my rational mind which knows how destructive they can be?

Recently my therapist sent me an interesting article on embracing one's shadow, and how facing one's repressed dark-side/shadow can lead to true liberation. It was impeccable timing. I started contemplating... what am I repressing within? Why do I keep experiencing things in thought, word and deed that I say I do not want to experience yet my reptilian brain overrides my rational mind and manifests these traits? What in me is in harmony with these traits? What in me resonates with these things I perceive as "bad", "wrong" and "taboo" relative to my self-image.

Ah yes! Such was the dawn of new awakening in my life, a new phase of growth that I've been praying for and seeking ceaselessly. Such was the alpha of the entrance into a path of healing my mind, emotions and psyche in order to realise true balanced peace, and greater oneness with my Being, my Self, my Atman - the great I AM that has been spoken of in all religions and mystical traditions. This symbolised the beginning of my becoming whole.

I then realised why Jung's view of sexuality and sexual transmutation where highly respected by the Gnostics. Why would these spiritual scientists even consider psychology in their teachings? In one of his articles, Master Samael Aun Weor writes: "The well-established gnostic currents know sexology in depth. In the name of the truth, I have to tell you that Sigmund Freud started an epoch of extraordinary transformations with his psychoanalysis... The artifice that I am going to teach you was also taught by men of modern science like Brown-Séquard in the United States. It was also taught by Krumm-Heller, Doctor Colonel of our glorious Mexican Army. It was also taught by Karl Jung, and by the Asian schools of eastern Tantra. This is not my invention. I learned it from those wise men, and I transmit it to you, not like an article of faith or an unbreakable dogma, no. If you want to accept it, do it. If you do not want to accept it, then do not do it".

Carl Jung's Shadow and Shadow Healing Work was one of the major missing pieces on my journey towards great Self-realisation and healing in every area of my life. Indeed, I realised, I cannot truly reunite with my Being and thus realise the incarnation of the eternal Christ within without true psychological balance and healing. This psychological balance and healing requires, paradoxically, me to reclaim my disowned shadow, my repressed darkside and to become truly whole. I realised what my therapist was trying to show me in a very subtle way (God bless her soul for her wisdom and tact) over the past three years, I realised what she meant by "integration". I realised why every time I would walk into therapy with a lopsided issue she would always ask me about the opposite of it. Why she always, in a very subtle way nudged me away from being puritanical in my dispositions - something I vehemently resisted within.

This is why Ken Wilber's Integral Theory has sought to reconcile spirituality and psychology by demonstrating that true spiritual growth cannot occur without shadow work. "Know thyself, Be thyself, Love thyself" is the great injunction coming out of Greek Philosophy. "Do not judge others, but know and judge thyself" is the great injunctin coming out of the major religions of the world.

So I'm beginning to engage in Shadow Work and I seek to combine it with my meditation practices. I have a feeling a lot of crap is going to surface but as Ken Wilber and his co-authors in Integral Life Practice put it: "Whether you like it or not this is your choice: Own your shadow. That is, work to become aware of your repressed unconscious drives, feelings, needs and potentials, and to become able to make freer choices in life... Or be owned by it. That is, let your disowned drives and feelings shape your life outcomes, entirely apart from your conscious choices".

Again, to aspire is one thing, to do is another. I'm now looking at ways that I can implement effective shadow work that works for me into my life. It's time I embark on the journey of becoming truly free. I was recently at a Professorial inaugural address of a mentor of mine. He quoted Plato's view of the purpose of education which is "to draw men from being to becoming". This implies that true living is not being static, it is in growing becoming and one being part of shadow work is releasing the ego's immature desire to cling to a fixed, static self-image and to accept oneself fully, darkside and all with an acknowledgement that given a set of of specific circumstance I have the potential to manifest all the negative traits I project on the world and others.

More Fire!

 

@Toshiro That Tool Video is awesome man! Thanks for sharing. It's amazing how this knowledge is out there in so many mediums, its only when you awaken to it that it becomes so apparent. And by the way, you signature is sick dude! That egyptian symbology and james Allen wisdom is profound and spiritually awe-inspiring!

LOL! True that brother!

@Samipro What a story mate! I can relate to that. When I quit smoking a good friend of mine was living at my place and he knew I was trying to quit. One evening after I had run out of smokes he said to me when I was on my way out to the garage "Why don't rather come watch Dr. Demartini's inspiring documentary with me, and if you still feel like smoking thereafter you can go to the garage and buy your cigarettes". Like you, that was it form me and I haven't looked back. I'm in that same place again with the sugar-caffeine-nicotine, I feel helpless, at the trio's mercy but I know deep within that it is the measure of my faith and desire to be free that will bring forth the light. Thanks a million for your share!

@L Coroneos I hear you my brother! I guess at times its better to be brutally honest with oneself than to impose expectations of yourself that just burry you further with self-doubt and impotence. The challenge with me is that any substance that produces a rush of pleasure I become addicted to, and addiction, whether its to TV/PC Games, Sex, PMO, Sugar etc. is still addiction. Just to give you some context brother, I never used to drink Coffee; I've always just preferred Green Tea. But ever since I became an academic, I joined a huge University which has a cafeteria with top Coffee machines. One day I was completely out of energy from having had little sleep the night before and I though - just grab some coffee to wake up. One cappuccino was enough to keep me awake for the whole day. Today, a few months later and I'm lucky if I'm I'm stimulated by a large americano and a double espresso. Can you see the progression here... I now need enough caffeine to put me in hospital just to function - that is unhealthy and is a sign of addiction. This is the core of my concern. When you progressively need more and more and more and more until you just can't function or go through a day without these substances - that must be stopped into its tracks otherwise something is bound to give. That advice you got from the Gnostic instructor is power! I'm going to meditate on that, its quite empowering brother - thanks.

I definitely agree brother! The biggest challenge with mainstream religion is that it has confused the inner world with the outer world. As a student of the Gnostic teachings, I'm sure you're aware that many of the writings in the scriptures are allegorical and archetypal; symbols of what we must accomplish within our own consciousness rather than external literal events that occurred. That said, its important to remember that "Demons" and "Satan" are allegorical symbols refer to negative egos within ourselves. This was illustrated in Matthew 16: 22 - 24. Look at this encounter with Yeshua the Christ and one of his disciples - Peter. This is when Jesus was predicting his own death and crucifixion and Peter was so attached to him that he couldn't accept it: "Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” 23 But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” 24 Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.…".

Let's analyse this. Jesus called Peter - one of his own chosen disciples "Satan" - why? This is because Satan is a symbol of the ego of doubt-fear-attachment. Peter was attached to Jesus/Yeshua the man, and so was fearful of losing him and doubtful of the necessity for Yeshua to be crucified in order for the Eternal Christ to be Resurrected. So "Satan" and "demons" are those negative egos within that prevent us from becoming One with Truth. this is also why Jesus went alone into the dessert and was tempted by "Satan/The Devil". Satan was the ego within him; that ego of pride which said "prove you are the Son of God", "bow to me and I will give you riches" etc.

It also distressed me to realise this brother (that I am possessed by a legion of demons within), but that distress is temporary and thereafter shines the light of wisdom and we are set free of the illusion. The average human being is "legion" but is it not a blessing that we are alive right now in the 21st Century where many of the solutions to our problems are a click of a button away? The realisation I had about my shadow would have been impossible for someone 50 years ago to make because there was no Google, there was no Gnostic Teachings online, there was no Amazon, Tablets and eBooks where one can go to get books immediately to read that would clarify the conundrum. You see, if anything my brother we are the most fortunate of the human race - if you wish to make up your own mind on an issue there is plenty of info out there. This is why Self-realisation is possible in our life-time. We can do it! This legion of demons within stands no chance against the contemporary modern Will of Man which is determined to realise the Truth!

More Fire!