Made it the 14-Day Mark!

After much effort I have finally made it to the two week mark, the first time in many, many years. Has it been easy? No. It has been incredibly difficult. For example, this past Saturday night and into Sunday I felt really low, principally because I did not start a conversation with someone I was interested in. There have also been days where I have been incredibly cranky and irritable. Normally, I would find solace in pixels and fap away. This time things were different. Some observations from this process:

1. I am now older and have felt that this addiction has stunted my social and emotional growth. I can’t live life like this anymore, going after pictures/videos instead of real relationships.

2. I am more present and worry far less in this period of recovery. My anxiety has gotten much better.

3. Living life day-by-day, hour-by-hour, and even minute-by-minute has helped. The key is to live in the moment. Meditation and deep breathing are useful for this.

4. This website opens in another tab when I open my Internet browser, which has helped me keep my end goal in mind.

5. The most important piece is that I am looking at women differently and am seeing different forms of beauty. I am looking people in the eye more often.

6. The last thing is that life is much better when not spent looking for that next picture/video that will "satisfy" whatever I was seeking. In essence, it is much more peaceful. I am not in a constant state of effervescence.

For those of you questioning if it is worth it, it is. You will notice changes for the better, be it after a couple of weeks or months into the process. The time away from PMO will allow you to rewire your brain and gain a new appreciation on life. Will it be easy? No, you are trying to break some habits that are virtually hard-wired.

If I can make it to 30 days it will be the first time that I have reached this milestone in more than a decade. I hope the next thread that I start will be in the success stories section!

 

Thanks for the kind words and motivation. I will indeed move forward and not look back.

 

Made it to the 21 day mark and then I let the urges take over without porn. Feel bad doing so, but off to start another streak. All part of the journey.