I am most disturbed person

And i know that i will got no reply but i will still write my story..

i actually have problem cus i afraid of girls.I afraid to talk to them to be near them..but i still respect them so much and i am probaly nicest guy to girls ever because i want only from them to feel fine and most comfortable.And if girl is sad i will 100% feel that same inner pain that i really dont like and i will feel so much sadness and be helpless in case that i cant help her.. :/

it all started cus i was dating with one girl,all was fine Then i made party with my friends in my house,after all i walked her home and i was drinking and i was out of control at that point and i told her something rude but NOT like "You are wh**e,you are most ugly creature" ,still that she got so much pissed of cus of it and sad. When i woke up i remembered that night and i was in so deep sadness i went to her home throught rain even i didnt felt it was raining,i apologized to her and she said "Dont worry its ok now" then i went home and she said "You just came for that"? I dont know what she meant..then i left

After that we were still good as friends but i couldnt even looked at her cus i could 100% feel her inner pain and her sadness that was killing me i was so much dead inside and desperate cus i killed the girl that i loved more than ever in my life

 

nice answer i will try to change myself,ty man

 

yeah man i was totaly destroyed i wasnt even thinkid as human cus i had so much alcohol in my brain ,its just sitation where i could do something but i was too confused and then all of that just fade away !

 

pls god forgive me ;X

 

all just faded without my response