Just got stood up =(

CheshireCat2323 · May 10, 2014

A couple months ago my girlfriend of four years broke up with me, the grieving process hurt like a bitch but I've had people die on me, so I've gone through the motions before. But last week I was riding on my scooter and had to pull over to check for directions when a really cute black girl asked if I'd give her a ride around the block, she hopped on and started hitting on me pretty hard. We exchanged numbers and I called her a couple days later for a date, today. I called her today to see if we were still on and she said yeah, and she'd txt her address. She never did, so I called her a couple times and sent her a txt with no answer. It's been an hour, I'm upset, and taking it personally. I don't understand how some guys can have no problems with women, and why they gotta play games with me. I'm pretty good looking and have a brain in my head, but I guess I'm just not worthy of mating. These social mating skills are skills you're supposed to learn when you're a teenager, and I threw those years away fapping and can never get them back, and it's probably too late to learn them because I'll get trumped by all the guys who have developed those skills. Oh well, guess I should learn to love solitude.

CheshireCat2323 · May 10, 2014

Thanks for the no bullshit response, it's appreciated. I went for a walk and feel a lot better, not gonna bother with her though. Don't want to be involved with someone who plays games.

Rafa · May 10, 2014

You shouldn't worry, some girls don't know what they want too. I also don't wanna be involved with a girl that want to play this silly flirting games, it only shows me how immature the person is and thats why I dumped the last girl I was dating.

RRzealot · May 11, 2014

I'm by no means an expert in dating or pick up, but i've read that you should try and set up things more in the moment, ie lets meet up tonight. If you set a date for a few days away, it may create some anxiety or pressure when it comes down to the event.

that being said I have really no pick up game.

Don't take it personally, the idea of going on a date with a stranger can be extremely intimidating, you should be happy that she was hitting on you and that you had the experience.

NotAfraid · May 11, 2014

One thing you did wrong could be that, you called her. That conveys neediness.
And since you've been 85 days without release, you could've been conveying neediness with your behavior even more.

You have to learn how to channel your sexual energy. My suggestion is, that you're as relaxed as you can be physically and (consequently) mentally and simply don't put so much importance to the interaction. Just flow freely with your energy and have a good vibe with her.

Also, if she stood you up, then that's her loss. Who wouldn't want to be with a awesome guy like you?

NoneForMeThanks · May 13, 2014

Heres something else to consider...
She was completely a "random" occurrence. You were just riding your scooter and pulled over for a second and there she was. If this was a girl that you had your eyes on for a while, maybe I would be upset too. But you cant expect all that much from these random run ins...

Ive gotten girls numbers in the moment, and texted them with no response. Just use this as a practice. Lets be honest, Were you really pursuing this girl? Did you really want to be with her? or did she just happen to cross your path?

Dont be upset buddy. Your girl will meet you when you least expect it. Dont get caught up in the Rando's

mikeg · May 15, 2014

DUDE. It's all about confidence. That's what attracts girls. And the one that stood you up? It's totally fine, because you're probably an awesome guy who realistically has no problem with the ladies.

kaizensun · May 15, 2014

CheshireCat2323 said: ↑

threw those years away fapping and can never get them back, and it's probably too late to learn them
Click to expand...

No way dude, never give up like that, It's never too late to try.
You can still develop social skills, you just gotta give it your all and try harder than anyone else will while being a teenager to "develop social skills".

aaron92 · May 15, 2014

Abel said: ↑

Nope. You need to understand that sometimes women are afraid of dates as well. If you call too early or text too much, you will appear as needy and destroy the attraction. At the beginning it's all about not invading the other's personal space.

Don't ask to get confirmation for the date, especially on that day. If you get stood up, don't call. Don't text. Radio silence until the other person contacts you to apologise. Just go have fun with some friends, go to the cinema, or any other activity. Getting stood up is not the end of he world, you should never take it personally.

It happened to me as well and I used this basic principle. It worked, and we finally had a date.

Abel
Click to expand...

I agree with you- another trick with women is to try and minimise contact with them if you're dating. The reason why is to try and give them the impression that you've got a busy life, and if she doesn't want to be a part of it, then it's her loss. Secondly, it tells them that you're a busy man who is prepared to give some time in your precious life to come and see an important girl.

Plus, nothing turns a woman off faster than a clingy, insecure, lonely guy (Which was me last year when I was going out with a girl for a few weeks)

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Just got stood up =(

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