1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Depression, stress, and porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Jehu2077, Aug 21, 2016.

  1. Jehu2077

    Jehu2077 Fapstronaut

    241
    89
    28
    It's a crutch you never realize you have until you try to get rid of it. I had it pretty easy for the most of this journey, but this summer has probably been one of the most difficult I've ever had. It's led to higher levels of stress, anxiety over my performance at work, and more frequent battles with depression. All of this has led to me peeking, edging, and all out relapsing more frequently than ever before since I decided to stop all of these things.
    The most important note for me is that porn and PMO are not the root cause of these feelings, however they exacerbate them. Like all crutches porn never brings real relief, only a very temporary escape before plunging you deeper into the feelings you had before.
    For me the only fix is my faith and focusing on that. When I do I am more productive and happier with my lot, I perform better at work and am largely free from anxiety and depression. But in my darkest hours I tend to look toward that momentary "feel good" rather than those things that are actually good for me. My wife, as always, is my biggest fan and helps me more than I deserve. But I spend over half my life on duty and find myself missing out on so much I want to be part of. I do love most of my work, I don't regret it. However I want to be with my wife during her pregnancy. Anyways, I'm posting this here because I'd like to hear how the rest of you deal with stress and depression with regards to your NoFap journey.
     
  2. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

    2,956
    12,301
    143
    Your not alone pal. Your story is pretty much me as well.
    Since I started my new job I fell off the pmo free train. Only now after I've got comfortable in my job am I back trying nofap. I'm going to get back into fitness as well to take my mind off things when I'm not working.
     
  3. Bodizzler

    Bodizzler Fapstronaut

    5
    4
    3
    I bet that is hard being away from your wife. Don't most people in the service retire early? Hope you get to do that! I struggle too with depression and anxiety. Porn never helps but it is less work than spiritual practice. So really laziness is my disease!
     
    Jehu2077 likes this.
  4. Junior987

    Junior987 Fapstronaut

    40
    27
    18
    I think this has been a struggle for me as well, Stress management. I recently read The Power Of Habit and porn has become the routine for us after a stressful event. I havent found an effective replacement for PMO when this happens. The book advises that changing habits so that they stick requires faith, you have to believe that you can actually break this habit for the new habit to really stick, not really being into religion, this forum helps me as i can see and hear peoples stories that have broken free. I have been reading more of the success stories lately.
     
    Jehu2077 likes this.
  5. River2016

    River2016 Fapstronaut

    77
    38
    18
    Stress, depression, porn .. that describes my life exactly. Porn is about avoiding the stressors in my life that exacerbate my depression. Self-medication. So I can feel exactly what you're going through.

    I've had some success with Behavioral Activation Therapy. It's a process of tracking what you do during the day and it's impact on your mood. Identifying those activities that help with mood (like, exercise) and make mood worse (like, looking at porn). The goal is to replace the behaviors with negative impact with those that have a positive impact. On a basic level NoFap is BAT since one is reducing porn as a negative activity. By itself that is positive. But it still it is important to find the alternative, positive behaviors to substitute for all that time previously wasted on porn.

    I think that is the hardest part of this reboot for me. Until I've come up with alternative activities that I enjoy, and want to do, I will remain vulnerable to relapse.
     
  6. Jehu2077

    Jehu2077 Fapstronaut

    241
    89
    28
    I have found that when I take part in those other activities, the ones that I enjoy, it's very helpful but I should have added boredom to this list. Throw that in and idle hands start doing the devils work.
    It's a fight, I peeked today at some P subs after a week without. I'm proud of that week, but I'm not so proud that I slipped up.
    Fortunately for me, stress is going down and that helps with depression, but boredom remains and with that comes a lot of temptation. This is hard work, no doubt, but the I know it's worth it simply because of how much better I feel on the days when I don't indulge in any way. The more intense my indulgence, the worse I feel.
     
  7. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    I guess it is the most underestimated part of the journey: everything seems easy when there is no stress. But one bad day, one painful comment, some gossip about me, and I am seriously on my way towards a relapse. It is hard to think of the negative emotions as an opportunity but they are (more often than not) to learn how to life without Porn keeping me away from myself.

    Funny thing, the more you chase happiness by indulging in PMO, the further away it gets. Sometimes self-denial is actually the shortest path to happiness.
     

Share This Page