Wet dream involving porn/fetish

So I'm currently a week without M and over a month of no PMO.
I started Nofap over 3 months ago.

This morning I unfortunately had a wet dream that involved porn.
From what I remember I was on a couch looking at porn on an iPad.
I was scrolling through all these scenes which had all this fetish shit going on that I used to watch. There was even a porn star present who I liked watching.

In my dream I wanted to stop but it just took over very quickly and before I knew it I woke up with a mess.
Needless to say I feel disappointed as it was over the gay porn I use to watch... I'm really trying to regain my attraction back towards women but my brain wants that dopamine hit so bad.

Has anyone else been through this and do the these dreams / fetishes fade with time?

Just feeling like shit right now

 

@Awakening123

Thank you.
Long story short I think I'm bi sexual but watched gay porn for what seems like a lifetime. Lost everything towards women.

I just keep reminding myself that it's all visual and none of it is real.
I wish my brain would realise that.

 

@Lazarus Shuttlesworth

No offense taken.

I started M to guys while I was in high school and I do find men attractive.
BUT my experiences with men have never measured up to my porn/fantasies.
But along the way I lost all connection with women. I mean to the point where there was no reaction down there.
So I thought I was gay but never really felt 100% gay.

It's very confusing and I really try not to think about it much because I've dealt with a lot of depression and self esteem issues over it.
To the point of extreme OCD behavior.

But I've seen a lot of small changes over the past three months despite all the relapses and such.

I've had erections over women which is something I would have deemed impossible at the beginning of the year. I mean I would have put my life on it that it was no way possible.
And some days the thought of being or doing stuff with a guy isn't appealing at all but then later on that day it may be different again.

That's why I think porn really fucked me up in a visual sense.
PMO and M were all visual stimulation and when I did experiment with guys it was like... "Ok this isn't how I really imagined it at all"

It's a long story man and I don't know if I'll ever recover because there has been years of damage. But one day at a time.

Long response I know!

 

@Allnightlong

Yeah I think so.
I started M over women and then saw a calendar of nude men at a shop. I found their penises kind of intriguing and as a horny 13 year old I just started fapping over it. I think I felt very strange and scared about it after but continued doing it.
Fast forward many many years later and the kind of gay porn I was watching was messed up.

As I said my real life experiences never added up. Even 'basic' acts didn't really arouse me like I thought it would. I've been with some very attractive men too and even then it was like "yeah some of the stuff was fun but still meh is that it?"
I enjoy making out and cuddling tbh so I think I may be one of those 'romantic bi sexuals' or whatever... I'm not really into labels.

I have a few gay friends. They all say looking back they knew they were different. Even before puberty. But I can't say I ever had that.
Whenever I'm with guys it always feels like there are jigsaw puzzle pieces missing but at the same time I've lost everything towards women.

I pretty much broke down in late March/April because I didn't know how I was suppose to go on in life. I still struggle some days.
Then this site and ybop came along unexpectedly.
I'm 31 now so it's been nearly 20 years... It'll be very interesting to see where this takes me.
I have a daily journal and looking back there has been progress in a short amount of time.

Much love to this place and all the support. I honestly think it's the greatest forum on the Internet

 

@darkenedverse @Tommy_0113 @Allnightlong

It's all interesting stuff!

Morning wood has been pretty consistent lately although I have had streaks when there was nothing.

My orientation is what is driving me insane. I really don't know what is warped/skewed. Porn did a real number on me. I also know that sexuality is fluid and I feel that something is changing but at a very slow pace.
I'm going to need much longer than 90 days. I'm being realistic and will hopefully have more clarity towards the end of the year.