"Porn keeps men from cheating"...true or false?

okay porn or not porn men's are going cheat and even worse when he's a porn-addition because for a long time of not having porn, he might want more sex and he might ruined his erection.

 

I think porn is cheating.

The female body is a work of art and beauty that should only be shared with intimacy and romance.

As humans, we have been rewarded with diversity and emotion; to choose, love and respect a sexual partner. To actually enjoy sexual intimacy beyond Darwinist procreation. The ability to kiss, to feel and to cuddle.

Porn just turns men back into primitive animals.

 

I call BS on that. So if he doesn't have his porn, he's going to cheat? Is that what he's saying or implying? I'd have to think long and hard about staying with someone who flat out told me he was going to cheat unless (insert activity here).

In my world, any time my husband found sexual satisfaction from another woman, whether real or video, he was cheating. Others can disagree, and that is healthy for discussion, but for me, anytime he went to anything else but me for his connection, he cheated.

Also, I humbly disagree with @Anti-Social ..."porn or not porn, (men) are going (to) cheat." I just don't agree with that blanket statement.

 

okay i can see that but i am saying porno or no porno men are going cheat, porno may keep mens away from cheating but it's not a healthy lifestyle that's my personal opinion.

 

@UnwantedCaliGirl

Your boyfriend, as most men on this forum, has a serious problem with porn. The first step for any recovery is to first acknowledge that there is a problem in the first place.

Indicating that "watching porn prevents cheating" is your boyfriend's denial and justification for the problem that he has.

If he is to recover from his addiction, he must retract his statement - and he must be sincere with the retraction.

Only then can he begin a path to recovery.

 

It is a flat-out lie. Unfortunately it is a truth promoted by society at large. Society does not understand the problems porn has on people who view it and the relationships they are in. It is also a lie that people tell themselves to justify their behavior.

Some people are able to watch porn and not have it turn into an addiction. But over time and with repeated and frequent viewing, casual viewers can turn into addicts. Once a person is an addict the problem will grow and escalate. Escalation can take the form of watching more frequently, watching more intense forms of porn, trying to bring unrealistic fantasies to life, or grow to involve other people. Certain people find it much easier than others to cross over into real world interactions with other people via chat, text, Facebook, massage parlors, escorts, or prostitutes. In short, porn can make someone MORE likely to cheat.

The 'it keeps me from cheating' lie is also used to perpetuate bad behavior. It implies that the person has little or no control over his actions. It is based on the assumption that men get so horny that they can't control themselves. We are not animals, but some choose act like animals. Increased sexual energy is common in addicts because the desire to have their emotional needs medicated with sex mimics natural sexual desire. An out of control sex drive is a symptom that a person is out of balance and likely physically and emotionally addicted.

It is also a manipulation tool. The choice - porn or cheating - are not the only two options on the table, but the addict will narrow the argument down to that option. The correct answer is 'no porn' and 'no cheating'. If they can't handle that option then they are not in a position to be in a relationship. Porn has become their drug of choice and addicts feel they cannot do without their medication. A person with that kind of dependency cannot form meaningful, healthy relationships with others. They will always put porn over everything else in life.

 

I will speak to the question from my own experience. In my situation, porn didn't keep me from cheating. The exact opposite! Porn turned into an addiction that escalated to worse and worse things including escorts and affairs. Porn led to cheating!

I call B.S. on that statement he made. And I agree with @i_wanna_get_better1 that he is using his bad behavior (and let's be frank, if he's looking at 65 images in a few hours it might very well be an addiction already) as a way to manipulate you into allowing one of the two options? He's forgotten the most healthy and important option to take: NO PORN and NO CHEATING!

Porn infiltrates all aspects of a man's life and by extension the relationships that he has. A couple can only be as healthy as the two people's individual health. Couples counseling is a great suggestion to try to help the marriage. However, without being able to discuss his porn use is like taking your car to the mechanic to get worked on but telling them they aren't allowed to pop the hood.

 

I think the flaw in the statement is that it was a blanket generalization with saying that "men are going to cheat." It's what it implies (whether you intended it or not). Will there be men out there that will cheat tomorrow or the next day or at some point? Sure. Let's be realistic. That is going to happen. However, don't lose sight that each one of those men that will end up cheating at some point has a choice. He isn't predestined to cheat or forced to do it. There will be some that because of upbringing, childhood trauma, current circumstance or whatever might make him more inclined to cheat, he still has a choice whether to do that or not. But there are also lots of men that are going to choose NOT to cheat. It would seem odd to say that "men are going to kill people" as a general blanket statement since many men don't kill other people. Making a blanket statement such as this can give the impression that you feel it's going to happen, you can't control it, why bother, they don't have a choice in the matter, etc. That implication isn't accurate. I believe, each individual is responsible for their own actions and can make healthy choices.

 

I see your point but what i was saying Ted Martin but porno to me personality cause damaged in relationship if the guy is addict but if you cut this habit of that then he will find a way to some sexual tension that's why but my comment on "porno or no porno men's are going cheating" come on let be really we are guys we eventually going to cheat over different reason either misunderstanding to just dumb and selfish reason but that's not all guy, sorry if my comment was somehow stupid i apologized for my mistake.

 

Perhaps we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't agree with the statement "we are guys we eventually are going to cheat." That's nothing more than a stereotype and a generalization that is offensive to all of us guys that are working hard at making the right choices and not cheating. But you might have a differing opinion on that which is fine. We are each entitled to our own opinion. I wish you nothing but the best as you seek to heal and recover.

 

Yeah sorry to interrupt and being out of field but i have question? i masturbate without porno but i making a promised to stop porno permanently because i dealt psychological bully from "friends" of watching porno and girls mock the s@#$ of me during high-school and guys any tip please

 

This statement is as ridiculious as if he said that dressing like a whore prevents women from cheating.

 

are you talking about me?

 

It's true, while in a relationship you may feel like having sex with a different woman, after PMO you just don't want to have sex anymore, so it does keep you from cheating.

However, I've realized that is not the best approach, if someone (man or woman) feels unsatisfied with their partner they should speak up, discuss the issue. It's harder for people suffering from PMO addiction, as it leads to wanting porn-style sex all the time. So, PMO can keep you from cheating at the moment, but in the long term you're just feeding your sex addiction, so the urge to cheat will keep coming back.

 

Than you Sruff

 

I am a man, and reading your story breaks my heart. I am very sorry for you!
I hope that you don't feel guilty in any way, this is not your fault.

And if a "man" is telling you that porn prevents him from cheating.. I mean, is he serious? This is just fucked up, like saying cocaine prevents me from taking crystal meth.. oh lord.

I wish you all the best, and the guys above have already given you some tips, just my 2 cents.

 

I respectfully disagree, and for the same reasons that Ted Martin outlined above. If you're in a relationship and feel like having sex with a different woman, that's a separate issue. Although PMO may "help" by emptying semen from the body and providing a nice dopamine hit, that's not going to prevent a man from cheating if his heart is set on it. I could have PMOd the previous hour, and all of sudden I'm presented with an opportunity to cheat, whether I do or don't will have absolutely nothing to do with whether I PMOd (not factoring in performance issues for sake of argument). I think what it comes down to, clear and simple, is the OP's boyfriend threw out a justification to support his porn addiction, and that justification has no credibility.

 

He doesn't want to admit that his porn is an addiction, but the thought of letting it go scares the shit out of him so he's defending it with any rationale he can grasp.

Porn doesn't keep men from cheating. That's like saying window shopping saves money. It makes you dissatisfied with what you have, and encourages cheating. I think enough men on this site have discovered this; men who never would have cheated, but their occasional vanilla porn habit turned into more frequent and more extreme use, until some find themselves soliciting trafficked Ukrainian girls just to feel something.

And men don't inevitably cheat. That's purified bullshit. If men, or women, are not happy with the sexual side of their relationship, they can either work it out, put up with it, or leave. Stepping out is never an acceptable option. Anyone saying it is for their own "benefit" is a lowlife scum sucking pig, and anyone who expects it out of their partner has self esteem problems that need to be kindly, compassionately worked out.

 

I would tell him that breaking up also keeps people from cheating on each other. An option you might want to consider. Painful? Yes. Worth it? Most likely.