An Open Letter To All the women That I Have Used

A Letter To All The Women That I Have Used:

Dear Porn stars, models, and real women that I have used to gratify myself,

I write this letter to ask for your forgiveness. I have used your bodies, directly or indirectly, to distract myself from my own insecurities. I disavowed your humanity. I ignored your realness. Mothers and sisters and daughters and lovers. Real people. With dreams and hopes. With pain and suffering. Real people who get sick and die. Real people that want to love and to be loved.

I imagine that if I got to know each one of you personally, I would discover wonderful things. I would discover painters and musicians and artists. I might meet one of you who is an athlete, another who is a natural mathematician, and another who is a charismatic leader. Maybe I would meet one of you who can bake delicious blueberry muffins, or who feels most at home at a baseball or football game. There are some of you who mean the world to their children, and who sacrifice everyday to get by. I wish I could meet every single one of you and ask for your forgiveness. I wish I could get to know what makes each of you unique, real, and human.

And then there are some of you who are sex slaves and victims of human trafficking. To every woman who has been enslaved and abused and victimized by pornography, I lay my shame before you. I contribute to an industry that has stolen your life and will. A human life just like mine, stolen and demeaned and subjugated. To these women, to you, I get on my hands and knees and beg forgiveness. I will never know what it is like to suffer for five minutes in your shoes, much less days or months or years. The best my flawed self can do is to quit porn, and to help others quit porn, so that fewer women suffer your fate.

There is no good or easy way to end this message that will probably never reach you. I just wish that I were a better man. I will strive be more compassionate and kind, and to give the women in my life the deep respect that they deserve. I will be more honest with myself about my motivations, and stop making excuses for my poor choices. I will acknowledge and be grateful for my privilege as a white man, and help build a world where men no longer feel good about using and demeaning you.

 

Thanks everyone for your kind words! It's been a journey, and I still have a long way.

 

I haven't. I just haven't figured out how to reset my counter. My real count is 6 days