How do you think porn impacts our sexualities?

Pornography has a huge effect on all three factors due to it being an immediate escape from reality for self-gratification at the expense of strong stable relationships. You almost focus on the sole perception of pornography as a healthy depiction of feminity, masculinity, and sexuality.

 

I watched the entire webinar. Great job by both Alexander and Ran. Ran brought up some great points on masculinity such as "resilience", which I feel is a masculine trait. The fear of speaking out against peer pressure, is very important.Whatever the definition of rmasculinity may be, resilience is very important.
Also, a great point on compassion and how just a few violent videos can desensitize a person regardless of their background. Alexander, made a great and scary point when he mentioned that despite the fact that it just takes a few videos, who really watch porn once or twice a day?
I think, when we consider the serious changes to the brain such as hypofrontality which affect goal orientation-its important to consider how such effects dilute more traditional "masculine" behaviors such as "ambition" and goal seeking.
Also, I feel that repeated pornography use leads to more men and women questioning their sexual orientation. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but I feel sexual orientation over the years has become a lot more "fluid' due to porn users moving into the domain of homosexual pornography as they become desensitized to heterosexual porn.

 

I believe that if we look at masculine traits we can better understand what porn takes from a man. There are some qualities that are timeless, that any man from any era exhibits that are undeniably masculine, and distinguish a given man as strong, capable, and responsible. The three most distinguishable traits I would attribute to masculinity are the role of a man as a leader, protector, and provider.

By learning about our sexual identity from porn instead of real, personal exploration, a man doesn't learn the interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence & sensitivity, or ability to take initiative and lead a woman into a safe, healthy, or desirable encounter. Porn distorts our understanding of the value and purpose of sex, and reduces it to a physical exchange of instant gratification.

Because of the exploitative and sometimes even violent nature of porn, and the casual nature of many filmed sex scenes, men are misguided about how to properly protect a woman's heart, her physical vulnerability, and her self esteem. When people are reduced to images of body parts, the humanity and intimacy of sex is lost. The experience is cheap and no longer special. I would venture to say that most men probably aren't even aware that they should protect their own hearts, physical well-being, and mental fortitude. Plus there are feelings, connections, consequences and other factors worth protecting. Men have responsibilities and stakes that porn doesn't even hint towards.

Finally, men are completely divorced from their role as providers when porn is the leading contributor to their identity. Within the fantasy of porn, nobody ever gets diseases, conceives a child, needs therapy, or has any kind of emotional response to the events that transpire. It sounds great on paper, sure... But the reality is that for the last 200,000 years or so it has been a man's responsibility to provide for his partner, his family, his clan, tribe, or even community. But the narrative of porn tells us that a man's biggest responsibility is a good money shot. Is it any wonder why the modern family is disintegrating, or that many young people are struggling with the concept of gender and gender roles?

These are just some of the impacts porn has on men. The scary part is that we don't live in an isolated bubble. These issues also affect our mothers and our wives. They affect our girlfriends and our sisters. They affect our friends, coworkers, and brothers. And with all these relationships affected by a desperate lack of true masculinity, porn literally affects all of humanity, and even generations to come. If you still want to run and hide into your little fantasy world and watch some porn and jerk off tonight go ahead. But if you want to stand up as a man and fight then you will not fight alone.

 

I think P has a detrimental effect on the arising of fetishes and turn ons. We are not meant to be influenced so strongly by twisted things that are depicted with pixels.

It's not just about being vanilla, but by pushing yourself to fully enjoy the fruits of relationships, consensually, between yourself and your partner/s.

When you are MO'ing to an actress, it is without her/his permission. It's degrading. She is not involved. It's not right. Imagine all the amateur videos out there of people being forced into something for the sake of an audience, by a boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter, or even worse, a one night stand. His/her body is being put out in the mainstream area for the pleasure of others, yet the others do not consider the ramifications that this promotes for those who consume it.

Every time you watch an amateur video, for example, you are promoting that's it's ok for someone to be filmed and exploited without their permission. You see something out of the ordinary, something with a subculture to it, and seek to repeat it in the physical world.

There are a lot of ramifications for this. Violence and sex don't mix, for example.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.