I know that I can't be like you, how can I ...

Hey mate,

You know that feeling when you accomplished something that you thought you never could accomplish? Maybe your initial reaction would be that you 'are a failure' or 'I never accomplished anything', but you have to dig for these memories. Those moments that you did something you never even thought of doing, remind yourself of those.

Yes, this is fucking hard. Look at me: doing this shit for 3 fucking years now and I still can't seem to stay clean for longer than a month. But fuck me, I did some great times during that time. I travelled alone. I moved out to explore an unknown city. I found jobs, made friends, had great hangover but brilliant parties. Found love. Lost love. And I'm still able to smile through it all.

Thing is, if you keep reminding yourself 'how weak you are' or what a shameful being you are for not accomplishing the thing you want to accomplish, life will be harsh on you. Feeling shit about yourself is easy. It is toxic. It is just like having a fight with someone: nasty thoughts havoc your mind and will not evaporate once you let go of them. Feeling sad for yourself is easy, a positive mindset is fucking hard. You should reflect on your ways, your errors, your mindste, and then progress will truly follow. If you want some advice or have questions, feel free to PM me anytime.

 

Just don't open the pic. As soon as you do that you've lost. You have to find a way to interrupt the pattern. As soon as you get the urge, you call upon your interruption. You need to experiment, and pick something that works for you. It could be a thought (like something non-sexual, or even something repulsive), or an activity (jumping jacks, or pick up a musical instrument).

 

@andrew.alberto

Hello Mate,

1. "don't know what is the need of women at all, I hate them I don't want even to have sex with them at all. I hate the feeling that I need sex or even them."

Man, Women are not about sex. Not even wives are about sex.

Women/ Men should be:

A. about fun
B. about teasing
C. about silly jokes
D. but also about supporting each other
E. about making you less selfish
F. about caring

Let go of this crazy idea that women are about sex. Think about making love after knowing each other. After respecting each other. After loving each other...

(Let go of this myth that women are good just for sex. Even the strippers or whatever are better than that. Some of them are just very broken people. But even those are better than just for sex)

2. "Now I lost my job, and I can't live at home without PM at all. I don't have a friends to help me, I don't have a places to hide when the triggers come so hard.
I don't have except me, when me is triggered so much then just feel sad this moment and yes of course like the many times let's do PM to get of that feel."

Do not ask for life to be easier. Ask for yourself to be better.

Do NOT understand this as a negative but rather as a positive. I mean, there is just a little chance that you can make it on your own. You need people around you to help you out and to keep an eye on you.

(
Actually, I live alone having also issues socially and It can get really tough...

I made 159 days on my own but in a time, you will need to concentrate on building relationships.

(I do not live alone by choice, my mother kicked me out after high school and my dad is not really honest with me to make a flat in one floor of his house.)
)

3. "I hesitated many times to write a thread like this, but I just want to come back even if I don't know how to come back with a will like yours.
So sorry for this thread if you don't like it, tell me to delete it."

If you want to come clean, you need to accept yourself with all your issues.

Then if you want to change things, you need to create strategy and you need to stick with it.

(In my case:

A. I have no access to porn.
(K9 and selfcontrol.app, with whitelist of allowed pages set for 30 days)

B. I have sticky band on the wireless router so I cannot reset the router.

C. I need to fix the social issues << be more outgoing and create a circle of friends.

Basically, learn to spend more time offline and learn to be kind to people.

Do a little thing for your mother. Try to make her feel good.

You will see where it takes you. ;-)

Good Luck and God Bless!