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3.5 years trying... Failed again @ day 26

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Light139, Sep 17, 2016.

  1. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    Let's look at this objectively. You did the whole PMO thing daily for fifteen years with lots of edging (which really fires up the dopamine pathways). During the past 3.5 years, you've had some pretty long streaks of not engaging in PMO at all, is that right?
    If this is the case, I'd say you're far better off than you were before. Now don't use that as an excuse to PMO, but feel good about yourself that you're able to refrain from PMO for such long periods. The ideal is to be free of it altogether, but I would say you're well along the road to that destination.
    One thing I have to ask, though, is during your streaks of no masturbation are they true PMO-free streaks or are you still edging during them?
     
    AndySky180 likes this.
  2. Yes, I am quite a bit calmer now, it's just the massive down-status after it happening putting you in that stage.

    Unfortunately, I been quite extreme in making the '''''''perfect''''''' situation (the worst situation) to get the most out of it every single day back then.

    Yes life has gotten much better but I do have a bad tendency which I forgot to say after each 25-30 days being clean and thus failing again, I can go on for 3 days ruining it all before I am starting again.

    Those streaks are fully clean of any fantasy (meaning to break it within seconds after noticing it), videos, pictures, chats, touching or any type of wrong doing.

     
  3. Alex10s

    Alex10s Fapstronaut

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    I wish you good luck mate.
     
  4. you too thanks
     
  5. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    It was great man. When I look back I regret a lot. It was like living in a different world where I felt alive like never before.
     
  6. GnosisToday

    GnosisToday Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing your relapse story Light139,

    I'm currently in the process of rebooting myself. I have almost my first goal (14d) completed for the first time. In some moments it's really hard, there's a massive surge of urges. I'm even having dreams about relapsing.

    At other moments I'm happy though that I have come this far and am doing something to change my life. I know we can beat this. I will build up my life, my character, my happiness one day at a time.
     
  7. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    @Light139 You can definetely be proud of going all the way to 26 days before your relapse! Like @Lone_Wolf said, remember how many PMO hours you've accumulted over the years, how that is so much part of your habits and thought process and pain/sorrow relieving process! There's a fight to be had, because right now your brain thinks that PMO is the way to go - it took 15 years for it to believe that so much that it created physical neuron structures to implement it. Reverting the process won't happen in a day, but as you can read in the success stories section, there's much hope and infinite variations of how people finally get there!

    You haven't failed. I repeat you haven't failed. We fail when we give up =)
    Now just look forward to the next place you want to be, set a goal, and try to get there with all you've learned so far.
     
  8. That's already enough reason to never fall back ever again. We are depriving ourselves from a happy, productive and active life TOTALLY unnecessary.
     
    Awakening123 likes this.
  9. Thank you as well! I am going to give this another GOOD try now with the intention to just replace the whole thing. Joining the forum finally seems to be such a great thing to do, I feel MUCH more motivated now and not so alone in this process. Sometimes I feel like I am just totally insane but it's the addiction and knowing and seeing the support of so many great members, I feel like we (ALL MEMBERS) can do this.
     
  10. Again such a friendly and supportive member. I feel quite blessed to see such a group of nice people trying to really change their lives. I want to be of value here in terms of support and hopefully motivate by going in for a good attempt of breaking free now. Obviously at day 0 now it's not much of a statement but I feel good about aiming for a life free from this filth.

    Yes only after 15 years I only realized it wasn't normal. yes I knew it wasn't normal in terms of wasting your time but I didn;t know it destroyed you completely.. I had MANY physical problems which most of them disappeared, which i should be more grateful for.

    I am going to start a journal now with a serious attempt. I only joined 2 days ago after the failure but maybe this failure is my success (it brought me here)
     
    TheFutureMe likes this.
  11. MuslimNoPorn

    MuslimNoPorn Fapstronaut

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    Hi Likewise, its going rough but I'm pushing through. How is it going with you (and your streak)?
     
  12. Let's go for it hard this time both... Life is short and if we think it's hard now :eek:!

    I just started since last failure 10 hours ago... But going for it strongly this time
     
  13. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    @Light139, in January 2014, I became top-serious about quitting PMO. I went with this disease for over 20 years, I failed so often, and then I said "now or never".

    Since that time, I made several hard-mode-streaks up to 35 days. But also had many relapses.

    But in the long-term, I felt an extremely positive development.
    Most over, I got totally rid of depressions and my life is much more organized, positive, floating and I get actually things done.

    You cannot "cure" the PMO addiction like a broken bone - like saying "90 days hard mode and then I am cured". That's nonsense.
    To be "cured" means to change your entire life. It means that you gradually change your approach to life and the routine of every single day.

    Every single day should consist of multiple parts, which are mainly working, socialising, doing sports, meditating, learning and relaxing.
    Overall, you need to learn to be organized to a certain degree and to always have overview.

    Over time, your whole approach to life will become more and more "simple and floating".
    For example, your work should always flow, which means that you are doing every day a little bit, that you always have progress, and that nothing "piles up".
    Or, another example, when you are "cured", then your house will always be neat and in order, because you will never allow that dirt piles up. Cleaning up will be a part of your daily routine.

    You will see, at some stage everything feels very easy and stressless.
    And when you get that feeling over a long time period, it stays, and you have done really big progress forward.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2016
    Light139, TheFutureMe and GnosisToday like this.
  14. Very good contribution here for us all.

    You did make me think over these 3.5 years my life already improved by 1000% by figure of speech, I kind of lost that perspective.

    Thanks a lot once more for this nice post
     
    SnowWhite likes this.
  15. MuslimNoPorn

    MuslimNoPorn Fapstronaut

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    Lets go for it hard. The urges are strong, but we are stronger. :))
     
  16. Yes! Will make dua for you
     

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