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The most fucked up place you ever masturbated?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Sep 15, 2016.

  1. ijcmartinez

    ijcmartinez New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragement @idclip .

    I suppose that my doubt is that I just feel sooooo tired -- in my soul. The "sweat" doesn't really scare me so much. The doubt is more like the kind someone might feel when they've been in a wheelchair for a long, long time, and they're about to start their first session at the physical therapy clinic.

    Looking at those parallel bars after signing in, knowing you'll have to go across with legs dangling uselsess and limp all the way, thinking inwardly, "I can't do this .. can I reschedule for next week?"

    I'll follow your advice and repost with @The King of Silence 's suggestion as a Journal entry.
     
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  2. idclip

    idclip Fapstronaut

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    To be honest, to me it sounds like you're trying to find a way to justify yourself for not starting to sweat right now.


    Also sorry if I went a little OT everyone! :p
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2016
  3. Blurasta

    Blurasta Fapstronaut

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    you do write one then make sure no one finds it by accident!

    I read my posts that i wrote earlier when i started posting and found myself reliving and remembering how crazy and stupid some of the things i did in the past were and find it a good warning not to do it again or go back to my old habits as the consequences could have turned out much worse and my life basically ruined. Fapping maybe natural but not the amount i was doing it. It also prevented me from chasing girls and forming relationships, which gets much harder the olde you get.

    I often did it in my local park while smoking marijuana but now they've trimmed it i cant do that. The main problem in parks were the darn people taking dogs for walks, i used to go deep into bushes that were not very accessible and layed porn down on the ground to look at but random dogs used to bust in and id have to pray theyd leave as if the owners came looking id be busted, luckily it never happened.

    Us fappers extraordinaire must have some of the most insane and unlikely stories ever, a documented story about each of us would expose many things we have in common, and the excuses we give, and the secret isolated places we hunted out in order to carry out our perverted obsession. Good times, lol but only cos we didnt get caught red handed. I often ended up in dogging spots when id go for a drive and fap as id smoke weed at the same time. Glad to say i dont do any of it at all anymore.

    Instead of fapping id advise penis strengthening exercises and jelquing. That way you perform better when it really counts and staying healthy. Abstaining from ejaculation is good and makes your PC muscle stronger.

    Happy writing!
     
    ijcmartinez likes this.
  4. six

    six Fapstronaut

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    Wow, this is an unusual one for sure. I've never done it anywhere really unusual, but a friend told me a story that his brother fapped to a video and fell asleep right afterwords. His mom came home and found him asleep with his pants down, and the video still playing.
     
  5. River2016

    River2016 Fapstronaut

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    This was in my teens. A public park. Past midnight after the park was closed. Parked my mom's car near a picnic pavilion. Took off all my clothes and left them in the car. Jacked off in the night air. Then realized I had locked my clothes and keys in the car! Had to break the window with a rock to get out of there. Next morning had to come up with an excuse for my parents about what happened to the window.
     
  6. ArtisticLiving

    ArtisticLiving Fapstronaut

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    Is this a shame masturbation party? Are we trying to relive and refeel shame because we don't have enough? I'm laughing at myself because I clicked on the thread, but excuse me if i choose not to play. My focus is on the man I am choosing to become - not the one I used to be.
     
  7. ArtisticLiving

    ArtisticLiving Fapstronaut

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    After thinking on this thread during my workout, I decided to come back and play after all. My focus is still on who i want to be and not who I was, but I was aware of an old, old tape that started playing when I was reading the thread, and decided that for the sake of any newcomers that want to get better, I would share something.

    You see, when I read the thread I kept thinking, wow, nobody is as fucked up as I was. And that part of me used to feed on the idea that nobody else is as fucked up as i was - that I'm some sort of unique situation and beyond help. So, yeah, that part of me is a liar. Lots of fucked up people out there and i was just one of them, and I got better, and so can anyone else here looking for help. If I'd found this thread 20 years ago, I'd have felt justified in feeling hopeless, and left without knowing I can get better. so my reply is in honor of that guy I used to be.

    Home? Work? School? Church? Car? Public? Yep all of them. In fact, while working out, I wondered if maybe it would be easier to say where I haven't MO'ed. And the only thing I can come up with is that I *think* I have never Mo'ed at a funeral - I wouldn't be surprised to find out that I did, but I can't recall any event where I did. See, I used to MO as a way to regulate my feelings, so if I got too embarrassed, afraid, angry, bored, lonely, unhappy or whatever, I would seek to escape and MO and PMO was my favorite escape.

    Then one day maybe 18 years or so ago, I caught my son M'ing in the living room. I didn't want to shame him, so I sat him down and told him it's ok but also a private thing and so best if kept in his bedroom or bathroom. And afterwards, I thought about what I said and realized there was truth there. So I changed my personal boundaries and I'm glad to say that I haven't M'ed anywhere public in decades now. It wasn't an overnight miracle or anything, I found all kinds of new ways to screw up my life with P, M and O, but none in the past ten years at least.

    So, be gentle with yourself. One of the keys to getting better is to drop the shame and talk about it if you need to do so. Becoming gentle with myself is a key moment for myself since the shame gave it energy and propelled a cycle of acting out and screwing up my life and then the shame and fear lead to acting in and being afraid and trying to control every aspect of my life and the more energy I poured into that part of the cycle with shame, the more energy it had when I lost control. Becoming gentle with myself allowed me to eliminate all that power and just make changes as I needed to do so.
     
  8. Im glad you came back. I'm not trying to shame anyone here. What would I have to gain? I just wanted to post a thread because I had nothing else to do. But you say you thought you were the most fucked up? So what? That just gives you that much more reason to change. And believe me it gets worse. But the worse and worse it gets, the more shameful it is. And then people don't got the guts to admit it. Like, I had a ton of messed up fetishes. I couldnt talk about them but once I got them off my chest, I was home free.
    I had many fetishes. I admitted some of them but the ones I was too scared off were the piss and scat fetishes.
    Haven't seen many people with those fetishes huh? Sadly it's because too many people are embarrased and ashamed. But you know what? You shouldn't be. It always gets worse. And if anyone is reading and has shit they want to get off their chest. I encourage it.
    Good luck, and don't fap!
     
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  9. ArtisticLiving

    ArtisticLiving Fapstronaut

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    Dude, my apologies. I wasn't trying to say that you were trying to shame others. I was trying to communicate the idea that any sort of shame-based contest of previous behaviors like recounting where the most shameful place we've MO'ed doesn't help us get better - it helps us get stuck. Shame powers all the wrong things in what we are doing - and one way that our addicted thinking tries to protect itself is to make us think we are somehow unique and that the success stories won't apply for us. It's a lie - that's why I came back and shared.

    Thinking that common fantasies and kinks are so shocking is an example of just that sort of thinking. We are only as sick as our secrets, true, but when we focus on try on "the most fucked-up" anything from our past can create that for the outliers whose stories are different.

    The good news is that as we recover and live life, we can more fully explore sexuality to it's fullest. And that even includes the kinks that might seem shocking, there are communities that will support exploration into anything without shame. I have no judgement for any part of this huge ocean where someone chooses to swim - it can all be beautiful when we are focused on the moment instead of lost lost in a sea of fantasies..

    Does it always get worse? For me, every day and in every way my life gets better and better. May you find peace.
     
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  10. - Ω -

    - Ω - Guest

    In my car while driving and talking to a girl who was doing the same thing.
     
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  11. K.C_Cage

    K.C_Cage Fapstronaut

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    I remember M'ing in the middle of a class I was in when I was 14. Somehow nobody noticed, even after I reached Orgasm. I still wonder what I was thinking to this day.
     
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  12. As the days go on does it get harder? I ain't gonna lie. It gets harder. But then it gets easier. But then depression sets in. Then about five days ago, in my case at least I got happier. I feel like I can take over the world. I hope you make it here too.
     
  13. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    WAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOLOL
    I'm in weird place of nofap again LOOOOOL
     
  14. River2016

    River2016 Fapstronaut

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    I had kind of a different take on this thread. For a long time I thought I was more fucked up than anyone else in the world. I felt so ashamed. Coming here. Finding other fucked up people has made me feel less shame. I am able to look at myself more objectively. And it has made it easier to attack my addiction. So I wasn't trying to shame myself, or anyone else. I'm just saying, we are a big community of fucked up people. But that's what makes us a great support for each other.
     
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  15. Blurasta

    Blurasta Fapstronaut

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    Ive also done the whole video thing and gone out shopping, halfway to the shops, realising my moms coming home and ive left out my flesh gordon video box in the middle of the living room with the video still in the player. For some reason directly after fapping, my mind went into lala land and id just get on with my day almost completely forgetting what i got up to. This happened all the time, very annoying and made me always double check if i cleaned up after myself.

    Fapping is a personal thing and i guess part of the thrill was the risk of getting caught. If i could just whip it out in front of my friends and start beating of to some porn or whatever without them caring, like it was normal i think I would have done it less. Like drugs, because they are illegal people do them more. The forbidden act. Its why we have so many secrets.

    My friends recently told me he started seeing prostitutes, or escorts, or whatever you wanna call them, and i kind of wish he didnt, but its another forbidden act. I followed suit and have had some interesting experiences to say the least. A grown up version of fapping i guess, but more expensive.
    Fapping in front of an escort was a weird experience as they try to help you finish, so you can ask them to fap opposite you to help, or sit by you so you can put your arm round them while you do it or suck on their tits, or whatever. Ive never fapped in front of a girlfriend.

    We all do it apparently and do it less as we grow up mainly due to available time i guess. I really wanted to do it today thinking about a regular escort who wasnt answering my phone today but as an artist ended up making a sculpture of her face from videos i secretly filmed of my visits to her. No doubt when thats finished ill probably fap to that, lol. Im just so attracted to beautiful faces it takes my mind of sex for a while just studying the features, especially from bad quality low light footage!

    Anyone fapped to transwoman porn? There seems to be more attractive ones around than the usual thai ones in the past, its weird. I guess the hormones and plastic surgery has made that possible.
    But the weirdest and most disgusting thing i tried fapping to was a woman getting doggy styled by a grown pig. She had a blanket on her back to prevent the hoofs from scratching, the noises ill never forget. Fapping to that was a fail, and im not into scat stuff either, like the dogshit sisters.

    Anyways writing here has prevented me from fapping tonight so mission accomplished! But i find myself almost uncontrollably horny after two weeks, like i need to rid my body of semen or something, i dont even take any pleasure in doing it anymore, its chore i try to avoid like cleaning, but always end up doing after the dirt builds up too much. Night night!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2016
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  16. mrbattosai

    mrbattosai Fapstronaut

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    The worse place I ever fapped was either A. When I was 12 I jerked off in one of my middle school classes. It was awful, because all the cum was lined in my boxers LOL. B. When I was 11, I jerked off in my churches summer camp restroom.. Fucking awful huh, I was 11 and the girls were like 17 and they were so hot.
     
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  17. Blurasta

    Blurasta Fapstronaut

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    As i get older its quite hard to remember all the places ive done it, as many have written above, its easier to say where you havent. Im far too paranoid now to do it than when i was younger, like many things. Fapping on my windowsill whilst smoking was a weird one. But it the fact that i worry that the neighbours hear me that is a big factor for me stopping. It was hard at first as i had to change my stlye, but i didnt enjoy the new quieter version i had to learn, but now i rarely do it because of this, so think of the fact that your neighbours can hear you doing it as a good deterrent. After a while of nofap the need diminishes quite quickly to minimal amounts which are easier to beat. I saw escorts but am bored of them now and tried to see the same one but shes not answering her phone currently and i just dont want to see anyone else and am perfectly happy not seeing any others. If she never returns again then thats me done. Good cheap escorts are hard to find like a good friend, even when you pay, as you need to be sure they are not pressured into it, are attractive to you, and have a nice personality to you whilst you spend time with them, and that they genuinely enjoy time with you. Kind of like a girlfriend, but different obviously. If only all women simply escorted till they found the right partner, it would make looking for a girlfriend much easier, lol. But i think thats a fictional society im thinking of. Back to dating regular attractive women then. Just got a new job in a big firm, will have to see if there are any nice single women around, and become part of the real world now.....
     
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  18. Blurasta

    Blurasta Fapstronaut

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    Well turns out, my regular Italian escort has gone back home, so sad, she was amazing, i will miss her and dont really care for escorting anymore, glad i sneaked a few secret film sessions in there, so at least ill be able to remember her face (amongst other things) she at least i could talk to in a friend way and she told me loads about her personal life, but i forgot so i cant stalk her in Italy and i forgot her real name when she told me. Oh well, i think she got told off as she recently moved into a very family orientated area and im sure they noticed the presence of men loitering for her bliss. Or at least the volume since she arrived, at least she told me she left from Italy so i stopped wandering if she blocked me or anything for any reason. Sweet girl, very clean and safe, some issues, but a real gem, will probably meet a lucky fella in Italy, i wish it was me even with her history. Its crazy im sad about this, total EAS on this one. I feel down for the first time in about 5 years, lol, because I miss the company of someone I really connected with, unlike all the countless other ones. Meeting escorts you connect with is rare, meeting non escorts you connect with is even rarer.

    Once a window cleaner saw us through the window when he was cleaning them! Jokes..... Back to reality and dating boring ass people with no interesting stories but just baggage...
     
  19. Its probably for the best that she's gone IMO. You have gained my attention though. You got a journal I can follow?
     
  20. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    I've done it while on hallucinogenic substances. Yeah, it was weird.
     
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