Girls don't want kind or nice guys

They want a guy who is assertive, confident, "alpha" male bullshit. Now, not saying that kind or nice is a drawback for most girls, but if you lack the former the latter isn't going to mean diddly shit. Also, you have to know how to play all these stupid fucking games, and like every game there are winners and losers. Some are more adept and talented at this, others have to learn or be left out in the cold. I'm officially resigning from this bullshit. For my mental health (being dead serious, I already have mental problems and this shit does not help), I can't be bothered with it anymore. Maybe I'll be single forever, oh fucking well. It's better than being in a shitty relationship cause I was desperate, or trying to be someone I'm not to "win" a girl over. It bothers me, yes, but I want to try and not let it. Taking my fucking "masculinity", castrate me and shove my testicles down your throat. Put a giant UNWANTED tattoo on my forehead, at least I still have my identity and never betrayed my values. Some people aren't meant for real love or a genuine relationship. I won't bow down to societal pressure. It doesn't matter how great of a guy you are and it never will. I'm done.

 

Geez man relax. I know it's a lot of fucking bullshit, especially the games, but there's no need of belittling yourself like that. As part of my nofap journey I've done A LOT of self development, especially in the area of interacting with girls. I do agree with you about girls liking someone who is confident and assertive, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to be an asshole too, it just so happens that assholes are both confident and assertive. They want men who who will stand up for themselves and not act desperate towards them. Nice guys get the name nice guys because they bend over backwards for the women, put them on pedestals and make sacrifices in their life in an attempt to win over the girl. Most of the time it doesn't work or they'll get into a toxic relationship where the girl walks all over him. Now I am generalizing here, but that's the basic idea.

I know it's hard to have self-confidence and to stand up for yourself, I fucking do. I'm 29 and have never been in a relationship, but I have gone on multiple dates at least. The NUMBER ONE reason why I haven't had a girlfriend yet is because of my confidence issues. Thankfully for me it mostly stemmed from my PMO use and how I sheltered myself off from the world by staying in and playing video games and other such activities, so I've been able to rebuild my confidence simply by changing my habits. The hardest habit for me to break is being nice and needy, but now that I know that it's one of the biggest if not the biggest turn-offs for girls, I am motivated more than ever to change my ways.

Don't throw in the towel man, there's someone for everyone out there. You need to focus on the positives and not the negatives. One of the biggest things that helps me when I get rejected or whatever is to think to myself that it sucks to be her, because she's passing up a once in a lifetime opportunity to be with me. She'll think back one day and regret not giving me a chance, and that there's some lucky girl out there who I haven't met yet who's life will change when we do meet. Cocky? Yeah, but you need to believe in yourself and take care of yourself first and foremost.

 

@volt2187 I agree with most of what you're saying, and I'm not trying to generalize all girls cause that's now how the world works. Now as far as being needy or bending over backwards for a girl? Lol! No, I've never done that, at least not to a desperate degree. Hello no, I catch on to that shit real quick and don't let myself get sucked into that. I'm convinced I will always be alone though, for a multitude of reasons that I won't dwelve into. By all means, I believe a girl can find me attractive and be interested. It's the "getting to know me" portion, the real me. I'm too damaged, have unconventional views about some things, and in the end just never a good match. That's okay, I was just venting a little. I want to learn to be okay with it. I don't believe in fate or destiny and I don't want to play mind games, I can't do it. Some people aren't meant for love, that's just a fact of life.

 

@Wanderer90 yeah, I've never expected anything from a girl for being nice, and didn't say that girls don't want nice guys. That wasn't my point. I can be a blunt asshole when the situation calls for it. And it is a game, one that I don't have the mental capacity for and that's okay. It's better to not expect anything and learn to live with that than be constantly let down and disappointed.

 

Well said. I used to use my lack of confidence and insecurities with girls as an excuse to only talk to those who initiated conversations first. Because of this I adopted a negative mindset because, shocker, all my interactions with said girls (10+) never went anywhere and I scared them off by being needy, when they probably just wanted to talk or be friends. I've since been reinvigorated and giving up will never be an option for me, nor will settling to settle.

Patience and perseverance, it's whats needed for anything worth having in life.

 

Nope, not a bad day, still feel the same today. More like a bad decade. I can talk to girls just fine and be friends with them, have plenty that are friends. I can make them laugh and a lot have felt comfortable enough to tell me pretty personal secrets. It's fine, I don't mind. Yes, I'm awkward, but comfortable in that awkwardness. But as far as playing into society's definition of a man and chasing girls, nope not going to happen. I'll ask them out sure, admit to them I like them when the time is right. I'm not chasing anyone, I'm not going to follow mixed signals. I'm done with this shit, it stresses me the fuck out. I could care less about getting laid per se, that's a game I have no desire to play, chasing casual sex. Hell fucking no. I've had girls aggressively pursue me before, years ago, that always turned me off so I'm sure as hell not doing the same to someone else. Nope, fuck em. The title I chose for this thread was kind of click baity and generalized. I should've titled "Girls don't want me" cause that's the damn truth. They'd break ,y heart anyways, officially putting the last brick on my wall. I'm done. I DO NOT hate women or resent the, I'm not a misogynist. They are perfectly entitled to what they want and if it's not me that's fine. I just have to learn to live with that.

 

@Wanderer90 oh yes, I do stop talking to them when they pull that shit. I'm the farthest thing from desperate and know when to cut ties, I don't appreciate being jerked around and don't tolerate it.

 

@Wanderer90 I don't like being aggressively pursued. Of course I like it if a girl asks me out or is interested, that's cool. But if they come after me either desperately or obviously just wanting sex, yeah I don't like that. I'm not trying to paint myself as a chick magnet, good God no I'm far from that, these experiences are few and far between. I do believe a girl could find me attractive, but none of them want to stay when they get to know me. That's my point and I'm not going to try and be someone else to get them to like me or stay. Fuck that. Also, I'm a virgin at almost 29, so there's that. I've had opportunities for sex, one girl who said she'd teach me but didn't want a relationship. I want to be loved, not fucked. That make me weird? I don't give a shit.

 

@Maddey thanks, I'll always be me, that's kind of the problem. At first I thought you were quoting the guy who started Marshall Amplifiers, ha! I'll check out that video, but usually have a problem with most self-help stuff, I'm cynical about these things.