Trouble with going back to bad habits

Ibe

I've been the same lately and pretty much hit rock bottom. If I relapse or Watch alot of porn it gives me bad anxiety and I have been sick before starting work multiple times because i feel anxious afterward's and I dont want to live like this. Just think how much time you waste watching porn especially this last year and think how much you can improve for the next year. Keep positive mate

 

You need to find your why.

Les Brown once said "If you can find your why, you can endure almost anyhow."

Last night, I was close to relapse. Then I started shivering, shaking. I deleted all remaining triggering pictures and social media apps where I was prone to relapse. The reasons for this I cannot explain, but they would not have occurred likely if I did not have a solid why to act as my staff in the toughest moments. Currently my dream is to get to a particular university, do a degree and join the military as an officer. I have been to the university. Breathed it. Seen it. Felt the purest expressions of excitement and joy at the prospect of doing the course I sat in to listen to. The closer to reality you can imagine your dream, your why, the more potent it is. And when the urges begin to come, as a flood comes thundering towards a lone tree in an open plain, you will find something different. Your roots, your foundations, your why, will be so deeply entrenched, fortifying your mind so strongly, that the urges will cease to trouble you hence. Why? Because as this huge cascade of water crashes towards you, seemingly about to tear you from the bark asunder, to send you once again tumbling from your position of honour and strength... It fades into mist, and is gone. Because you have removed their power, and placed that power in the hands of your dream maker. Who is the dream maker? Your mind. All that is real, all that you see (aside from nature) was first a vision. Before becoming reality. How you deal with urges is how absolutely you realise they have no power over you alone. You give them power, and you can take it away. And when you do, it is exhilarating. Urges are not animals that hunt you in the night. They are shades, demons of a part of the mind fighting back against progress. It cares little for your future. Only instantaneous gratification. Picture your why, your goals, as a roaring blazing fire. Without it, the figure that is urges seems massive. Looming. Unstoppable and inevitable. Set that fire ablaze into glorious light, and the light of your true consciousness shall tear it apart into the shadow it has always been.

Yours truly,

Rising Golden Eagle, Cadet, In Honour Of Operation F.S.

P.S. Join us if you like. We are a militaristic style group, but it changed the course of my future. The Heirs of the Sun are few, but we are legend: https://www.reddit.com/r/Heirs_of_the_Sun

 

The only thing you can truly control in this life is your reaction to circumstances. Start there. Everything you cannot control can go to shit but the only thing you have power over should not be a disadvantage for you. Self-control is true freedom. Take yourself out of the equation of life as a liability. Maybe you are lacking motivation because you are overwhelmed by all the areas you see need improving. For now, just focus on the one that is a common denominator in all things involving you - your ability to control your actions. The next time the urge to watch porn hits you - say this out loud: I don't want to do this so I won't. It begins here with the vocal affirmation. What do you really want? Probably to be in control of your own life and choose what will take up your time. I don't think you really love porn and masturbating, I think you hate it. So start taking back your life. Use this affirmation whenever you are faced with something pressuring you into an action you know is not in your best interest to do - I don't want to do this so I won't. Then get up and go breathe some fresh air. You can do this.

 

That state when the brain is so wired to receive those hits of dopamine that the moments we find ourselves sober we succumb to despair.

Slow down a bit. When we're like that we expect results like nothing else and our sense of time is becomes unfunctional. As beautifully said earlier by @JackDanger concentrate on your response to the trials of your routine. What happened is that you've loosed your grip and the lowly mind jumped in to take nourishment. Only it does not know what's best long-term speaking.

Begin seeing yourself from above and manage be aware of your reactions and what they may bring to you later on. Success follows that same logic.

Sergeant 1st Class ▬ Lucid, in honor of Operation Fallen Soldier.