Wanting to "not want" it

Recognizing your addiction is an important first step - Good job! And wanting to want to change is another - Keep going! Check in with yourself daily and when you're thinking about using PMO ask yourself "WHY?!". Is it when you're stressed? Is it when you're happy? Hungry? Exhausted? Avoiding something? Also, are there any steps you can take to change your environment/schedule so you can stay on track? You may have to disrupt your normal routines and/or home set-up in order to gain some momentum.

If you haven't already, I also recommend doing some research on the biology of the brain. PMO has a massive impact on our physiology and that is a large part of why it can be so difficult for some of us to break the cycle of acting out. We've unintentionally re-wired our reward pathways and those of us who've been reinforcing those pathways for 20+ years have some hard work to do (myself included).

Here's a site the might be helpful: http://fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/

Keep reaching out and keep seeking answers. YOU CAN BEAT THIS

 

My issue is that I want to bang every woman I see. So for me what I'm realizing is that the PMO side of things is just a substitute for what I am unwilling to allow myself to pursue. I'm happily married as well with children and in my 40's like you. Ive been engaging in this behavior for just as long, since I was 12 or so. I think that my hesitation to pursue girls when I was young led to this as another avenue of release. It developed and became a long term pattern of behavior that I have supported over these last 30 years. Now, fighting back, my impulse to gawk at women has gotten very difficult to suppress. Because its not just the gawking, its the whole mental scenario that follows and it creates a desire that lingers long after that woman has gone. Then another, then another...etc. It makes me feel like a creep and a slob, because I'm sure that its obvious to an observer.
The PMO is the tip of the iceberg. There is a larger sexual addiction component to my issues and that is what I am trying to work on now.

 

I'm 38, several wonderful kids and a wife, and I've just hit my first 90 days with PM since before I owned my first cell phone and bought my first car.
You can absolutely do this. Look around here. People are kicking this habit. I love what previous responses suggested. Dig in. Figure it out. If you don't have the script of yourbrainonporn summarized mentally at the ready,get it. It was tool número uno for me. Oh, that urge is actually adrenaline teaming out my stomach, in there with the juices, a secretion. It's passing. That was two years ago. Took me that many months of fighting and confessing and half-struggling to get to a point of saying enough. Porn has made enough of a fool of me.
Do it. Stick around. Be diligent. You can look at my posting history and see how I spend my 12-1am. Hmmm. Any idea what's happening? Replaced one habit with a better one.

 

I have read in several places something which makes sense to me, as I was asking the same question as the thread title. You're always going to want it, the urges will always be there.

It's difficult. It's really bloody difficult.

But not impossible.

Keep setting and smashing those goals, and do address any deeper issues.