Starting day 1!

Day 29

One more day to the 1 month mark. I hate to count ahead but right now I feel like I can do anything. Almost cocky. That's scary. Things are going good. There will be a celebration actually. My birthday is very close to Halloween so this yearyself and a few of my closest friends will be dressing up and doing a night out! Usually that night is reserved for my SO and myself but this year that will not happen. So instead I will surround myself with some very positive people and party it up instead of staying at home thinking about what was.
There have been urges. But honestly I have the clear thought and mind to not click on that link, or turn my head. No porn though. I'm talking about normal television and social websites. I am choosing not to go back. I won't!
Working the night shift for a month too. There will be very little alone time and less down time which is even easier for me! Almost at the 1/3 mark!

Day 29. I got this!

 

Day 30 is here!

Boy was last night tough. Here I thought it was going to be a cake walk and things were going so smoothly then bam! Out of no where. It hit me like a ton of bricks. But I was able to do it! I went to the gym after work last night and worked off some steam and felt great afterwards. I wasn't worried because the urges hit me at work and no matter what I'm not jeopardizing my job(I wish I had this self resolve when it came to my home life) then the gym and worked through them.

I didn't think that this was as big of a milestone until someone mentioned it to me. I know it's day 30. A big step. But honestly it's just Wednesday. I think I'm looking at it as just another day as to not get comfortable, because with that for me at least comes feelings of cockiness and then I know it will be even easier to slip.

So to my fellow fapstronauts I say thank you! Without your support and kindness i surely wouldn't have made it this far on my own! I will toast to you guys this weekend! To 30 more days!

30 more days! I got this!

 

Thanks man. You guys all helped me out!

 

Day 2

Sorry guys missed yesterday and wasn't able to post. Don't worry I stayed strong. Today is day 2 of month 2. It's hard to believe that everything fell apart only 31 days ago. It seems like so much longer. But I can't dwell on the past. Only.look to the future. I feel good. I feel like I have a choice now over my actions and with each passing day that choice gets stronger. That voice in my head becomes louder. Hell I didn't even know I had that voice until a little while ago. See, I'm a man of what if. I hate what if. It's gotten me in trouble before but now I use that as motivation to not relapse. I am able to think of consequences now and obviously I think of the very worst that can happen. Might be a little dire but it helps a lot.

So begins my second month. Already off to a strong start!

Day 2, month 2. I got this!

 

Day 4

It's actually getting much easier. I am keeping busy. Working out regularly. All around feeling better. I have noticed now that my urges aren't urges anymore really. Just pretty much super horny most of the time. I am careful in what I watch. Before seeing anything that had nudity or even partial nudity would send me right to my phone and I would browse porn. Especially if I was alone! Now I am seeing consequences to doing that before I even do! I wish I had this way of thinking before I ever looked at porn in the first place!

Easy weekend actually. Had some family come down to visit so spent time with them. Having quit porn I am also starting to feel really good about myself and as a man! It's just a shame that it has taken me so far into life to realize this!

I am using day 4 as in month 2. I haven't relapsed. I just have multiple goals now. I did one month now onto another month but still one day at a time!

Day 4. I got this!

 

Day 6

Well another 2 days down. I think I am going to post every 2 days now. I'm having trouble finding new things to talk about honestly. For me it's not the urge to view porn so much anymore as it is being super crazy horny. Easy tip for this. Spend very little time alone. Working out is going good too. I have a partner that I go to the gym with.

Going to the gym is not a habit yet but it will come. I told my friend that even if he doesn't go to not let me know. The biggest motivation for that is knowing that someone is waiting for you there. And once I walk through the doors then there's no leaving until the workouts finished!

Works going really good too. I find I'm thinking clearer and on a plus side being more passionate about the job I do. Once again benefits for me! I don't want to get cocky but everyday I am more optimistic about beating this! Considering everything that this addiction has taken from me, knowing that makes me smile!

Day 6. I got this!

 

Day 8

Staying strong here. I feel unstoppable! Haven't slipped, staying busy, and my fitness regiment is going great too(although last night at the gym someone asked if my co worker that I workout with was my son!) That gave me a laugh!

Today is another day, and another day down. Sorry guys but a short one today. Woke up a little late and have to go right to work. But I am still going!

Day 8. I got this!

 

Day 10

Still going strong guys! I have made changes in my life with this but also how I take care of myself! I've changed my diet and have been more active like going to the gym. I want to make these changes a habit also! I find it easier to make choices I otherwise would've given in to. Looking back I think my poor diet had alot to do with low willpower. I find it easier to turn down junk that I normally would be jumping at. I'm getting older and it's only going to get harder.

I had some urges yesterday. A friend of mine sent me a link to a music video of a band we both like. I know he didn't do it with the purpose of triggering me to relapse but it took some willpower to not go any further. He knows my problem so I will have to talk to him and have him not send me anything like that anymore. A couple months ago and I would've gone into it without even thinking.

1/3 down of month 2. Days are going by quicker, and easier! But not completely without temptation. I am in control!

Day 10. I got this!

 

Day 12

Wow this past weekend was hard. Being really bored combined with being really lonely and I almost fell. That is a deadly combination. It also sucks working the night shift and being off all weekend yet staying up late at night because your body is used to it. This is my last week on nights finally. Things will go back to a more normal routine.

The feelings of loneliness really creeped up on me. I didn't realize they were so bad until this weekend. At least this weekend coming up I have plans so I will be occupied all weekend. I'm happy at even though I was really feeling low I was able to see it and didn't make any bad choices! Still going strong! Today is a new day and keep going one day at a time! Almost the halfway mark for month 2! I am making progress though. Even my therapist doesn't think I need to see him as often. That made me feel great when he told me that. Still seeing him though. Going to fix myself in ways that the addiction has made me! Gotta keep going!

Day 12. I got this!

 

Day 14

I was told early on in this reboot to use work as a reboot not a distraction. I see what was meant by that. Not working weekends with nothing but time the risk for a relapse is much higher. During the week while working and working out I find I am occupied and not only am I busy but also my mind is busy. This shows me that the wounds are still very fresh. My new goal now is I must keep my body and mind occupied during the weekend.

With that in mind another successful 2 days. I find now as long as I stay busy there are no urges, just really horny. I'm definitely not ready to meet anyone yet but this is really getting rough!

I must say though, my mind is clear. Hasn't been this clear in ages. I like this feeling! Almost the halfway for month 2!

Day 14. I got this!

 

Day 17

Busy last few days at work but made it through the halfway point of month 2 with flying colours! I feel great! I feel like I can do anything! I am more active, and I'm eating better! I truly think I can make this a good habit now. It's hard to believe how much control this addiction had on my life! And not just with intimacy and sexually. I am never going back!

Just a short one today guys. Busy weekend with Halloween and some birthdays. After this last little while I'm in a much better place than ever to take control of this!

Day 17. I got this!

 

Day 20

Just checking in to let everyone know I'm alive! It was my birthday on the weekend and I overdid it a little. I'm not a teenager anymore. Had a hangover for almost 2 days! But also stayed strong! Haven't had any urges just really horny still. It is getting really easy to differentiate between the two! Working in a factory environment I am finding myself turning my head away or even turning down people showing me provocative pics or videos that normally I would've jumped all over! I am proud to say I am thinking with a clearer head!

I'm even finding it easier to open up about my feelings with my SO. She even recently commended me on doing so, that it was a big step! That made me proud! I am doing OK. I'm not happy with my relationship being over, however I am happy with the path I am now progressing down! Thanks guy for the support!

Day 20! I got this!

 

Day 26

Sorry guys but I have been keeping busy. Almost too busy to remember to check in here. Things have been going great! Celebrated mine and my brothers birthdays during the last week and all in all staying positive and on the straight and narrow! I have to admit it but it's really easy now! I immediately turn my head or exit out of questionable videos if I get sent something that I don't know what the it is. It gets much easier! I think I'm getting over my depression too! Things will get better! Just be patient!

I'm sorry but a short one tonight because I'm going out for a bit. No sitting in front of the TV for me tonight! Have a great night and I will check in again soon! Oh and I just noticed it's almost been 2 months! Holy cow the time flies by after a while! It was so hard getting through one day! Now almost a week passed without blinking!

Day 26. I got this!