No More Mr. Nice Guy Challenge: Becoming a Stronger Man. (Dudes Only)

Does age matter? Im 16

 

Thank you for the encouragement and offer. I've been to counseling and it helped a lot. I hope your therapy helps you in your journey of healing. For me my therapist said we had reached a point where we had gone as far as we could go. He said I had a very clear and accurate understanding of my situation/problem and that the best remedy now would be to join a group where I could interact with others who've overcome past trauma and who are now living healthy and productive lives. I really don't know where to find such a group. Maybe a SA 12-step group.

 

I've read the book before. Honestly I hated it, things like that and the "Book of Pook" just made me feel disgusted with being a man even more than before. Shit like "men can't cry" or "men always have to be strong" just make me want to kill myself. At least they helped influence me towards buying anti-androgens and coming out as a trans abomination.

 

Do you by chance remember what part of the book gave you this impression?

 

It was more a general impression from the tone of the book.

 

yeah I have a lot of problems. As for killing myself part I think it's pretty inevitable if I keep doing what I'm doing, my mental breakdowns have been getting worse recently and eventually I'll probably end up dying in the midst of one if I don't change anything.

If I had to explain my feelings it would be this, even if I followed everything that book said and ten years from now I had a great job and a beautiful wife I would feel like I wasn't being true to myself. Also in general that's just the way I like my body, smaller and "cute" (if you can call it that with a straight face) instead of big and strong. I don't like books like this because they ask me to give up what makes me me in order to become a more accepted and successful member of society. That is probably worth it for some people but for me it just makes me feel kind of sick.

I'm sorry if my thoughts are jumbled, they usually are. If you want to talk further I'd suggest over PM. I don't want to derail this thread further with my nonsense.

 

ive started a training routine...not many hench wankers about...haha depends what gym you go to.

join me gents...

 

I got this book as a gift about 10 years ago. I never touched it. I'm going to start reading it tomorrow.

 

No I don't really want to be a man period. I just remembered the book title. I originally got it recommended from a bunch of redpillers (not very nice people) who were trying to "fix" me into becoming an "alpha" like they claim to be. I had to come here to see if it was the same kind of intimidation tactics that got me to read the book in the first place. Luckily it's not like that at all so that's nice.

As for therapy, I'm currently seeing a therapist who is actually the one who recommended I go on hormones in the first place. Even though I haven't started them yet and have only ordered them for some reason the thought helps put my mind at ease. I don't know, I'm weird. Even though my actions won't give me any points with girls at least I can finally be comfortable in my own body so that's really nice.

Also thanks for saying that it's okay to do what I'm doing. I've had so many PMs from people trying to fix me. It's terrible actually, reminds me of my time with the red pillers. ugh.

 

Firstly, I want to say I'm sorry you're experiencing suicidal thoughts and desires. I've had my own suicidal thoughts and experiences and the feeling of suffocating in hopelessness. Fortunately I was able to make some break through with therapy and I would say it was going to therapy which made me recommit to myself. I remember writing a letter to myself stating that no matter what, I would never give up on myself. This letter, I believe, was my first step to closing the door to suicide as being an option. At the bottom of the letter I signed my name and my therapist signed as a witness. I think writing a letter like this is a very powerful statement and act of self-care. I would encourage you to try it and have someone who knows you be there to sign it. If you need to, frame it and hang it in your room.

Secondly, the impression I've gotten from the book is that its purpose is to help men be the men they approve of. It's not about necessarily having the amazing job, the trophy wife, muscles, or anything superficial like that. No, rather it's about being the person YOU approve of. Living your life for YOUR own approval; not societies, not your wife/husband's, girlfriend/boyfriends, or even your family/friends approval. The "Nice Guys" sacrifice themselves in order to get other peoples approval or validation because they think this is where their self-worth resides. But self-worth can only be found from within. It's inherent and not based on some outside entity.

Lastly, there is no reason to be sorry for anything in this tread. This was created as a place where we as men can come to support each other, so thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.

 

Thanks! I might try that letter to myself thing. I don't really mind being nice, I've always detested the selfish attitude that most people trying to "convert" "nice guys" seem to have. If I want to do things for other people that shouldn't be any of their business. Although recently I've really felt like the one time I'm doing something for my own benefit it seems like now everyone is trying to stop me from becoming who I want to be. xD

It's kinda ironic like that.

 

yes mate lets smash it!!

 

The leg workout looks interesting. Hmm. I only do cardio and leg workouts, here's mine if you want to see.

It's pretty difficult. For me at least