NoFAP 17th day

I'm so glad I heard about this community.

I started watching porn when I was 12. Today I'm 24, and I totally lost control on porn, always tempted to watch and masturbate when I have nothing to do, and if I see a picture of a hot girl.

I never had problems of erection with my previous girlfriends, but I'm currently seeing a girl that I really like. We're not really together but we have a very good connexion, and we always spend great times together. The thing is that I can't get hard with her.

When this happened , she thought that it was because of her, that she wasn't hot enough but that's false.
My consumption of porn is so huge that it guides my sexuality and that's why I can't get hard with her. I recently had this thought but I was lying to myself and continued to watch porn. I really became aware of that when I found this website and wanted to change.

Today is my 17th day without masturbation, this morning I was on the internet and one ad of sex appeared on my computer. Usually I would have cliked and watched porn and masturbate because of that pic, but I didn't and closed the browser.

I feel like I'm more open to people, I want to talk to them and have interesting conversations.
Sometimes, it's very difficult and I want to watch porn and masturbate but I'm thinking of that how guilty I will be and of that girl, and I want to fix that thing between us. I want to have sex with her.

I'll see her in three weeks, we haven't seen each other since I started NoFap (she's doing an exchange), I really hope this is gonna work.

Sorry in advance for my english, it is not perfect I know.

 

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. The thing is that in my situation watching porn every time it's like I don't really need to have sex with her even if of course I really want to.
I hope that if I continue on that direction, I will transfer those needs of porn to this desire to have sex with her.