Gay rebooter struggling with temptation, possible trigger warning.

I'm struggling with something similar right now. I'm bi-married and ever since my wife went through menopause her sex drive has very much diminished (and mine hasn't. I have engaged in sexual encounters with men in the past and I don't feel good about it because I'm cheating on my wife. I always rationalized that it was only sexual satisfaction, not emotional. My spiral further down the mansex rabbit hole has been exacerbated by PMO thereby escalating my sexual encounters with men. I have stopped all mansex as well as PMO and feel very good about that, but I still miss that 1on1 physical release, which I;m not getting at home.
Last night I was having a very strong urge to visit a guy sex-friend. My rationale is, like you, it's not artificial pixel sex, it's a real person. I'm struggling.

 

I used to have a major problem with random hookups. It got out of control. It was definitely a dopamine thing. It was always more about the hunt and less about the hookup. Cutting out porn definitely helped with this. @NewLife101 just curious and not judging does your wife know you're Bi and were you Bi before you got married?

 

She knew I was bi before we got married.

 

I would have random gay hook ups. Got myself into dangerous situations a few times.

If u were with a girl would u still use that justification?

 

Never having had sex with a guy, but being attracted to both guys and girls is very hard. Going to the gym and seeing guys naked, oftentimes horsing around, is very difficult when trying to quit PMO. I am much more attracted to girls rather than guys, but nonetheless I do appreciate a hot young guy too so it is either learn to deal with it, or stop going to the gym. Mentally and physically you are challenged almost every day. Have had guys hit on me several times in the past at the gym or sauna etc, but have never caved. With that said, the hormones are always raging afterward which has more often than not led to PMO. I am fighting this with every ounce of my being and will do anything to succeed!

 

This must've taken a lot of strength. Well done

 

Thanks Man. Yes,

sometimes incredibly hard. I know that if I were to give in though I would be extremely upset/disappointed with myself so I just power through. I just don't want/need that in my life so why give in? I don't know what I do to attract them at the gym as I generally keep to myself but it seems to happen too regularly. Had a young guy walk right into my shower one time - that was extremely awkward but I just smiled, backed out and toweled off. Felt like a million bucks afterwards for avoiding though.

 

Agreed

 

No

 

Then maybe you should try to stop having encounters with anyone other than ur wife. Just my opinion.

 

And if it's a sexless relationship?

 

I'm trying, but when there is no intimacy at home it makes it difficult

 

Any chance you could speak with ur wife about it? Or give her hints?
Maybe she might be okay with you seeking sex outside, you never know.

 

There is more than one form of intimacy.

You think intimacy, and you think sex, physical intimacy. When she thinks intimacy, she thinks communication. The lack of intimacy probably began with secrets being kept, hopes and dreams not being shared, and topics becoming taboo. Wives can enjoy being physical, but they need the emotional intimate communication to be able to enjoy the physical side.

Open up and share with her; you may find that you enjoy what you have.

 

I used to seek out anyone willing to receive my nudes to get a boost on confidence. I'm bi (transexuals, but had experienceswith some guys), and it's being hard, cuz I'm feeling lonely in my relatives house, and since PMO I can't go after this kind of hunting.