Getting married

Don't Panic!

You are 100% correct; if you don't quit, you will still "need" porn after marriage. Real life sex does nothing to stop the need for porn, because real life sex does not address the underlying desire that porn addresses. Good for you for starting this effort now, before you've dug an even deeper hole, but be prepared for the possibility that you are already in deeper than you thought.

But you need some adjustment to your approach. Only five days in, your brain is freaking out, needs it's fix, and is lying to you. You don't need to ejaculate. I know your body is insisting on it, because it's been used to doing it regularly and now you're cutting it off from it's dopamine. However, aside from deep psychological distress and some blue balls that you can absolutely endure if you adopt the determination, nothing bad will happen. It feels like you'll go crazy if you don't, but the irony is that you go crazy when you do. You will be a little crazy if you don't, but it's temporary. Depending on how long you've been caught in the cycle, you'll begin balancing out in about a month, give or take.

STOP BEATING OFF TO PICS OF YOUR FIANCÉE

You are fantasizing about sex and her and what it will be like and it's all a dirty damn lie. Sex is nothing like porn. Women are nothing like the way porn stars act on camera. You've already screwed up your brain and I'm sorry that it can't be fixed right away, but you have to stop with the messed up behavior. Sex is not for the rush, it's not for the crazy fun, it's not for the need, it's not for anything but bonding. Bonding. Anything else is a nice side effect. When you start placing anything else above the intent of bonding, you screw the whole thing up. Start chasing the fun aspect, and it gets boring. Chase the pleasurable catharsis, and it will not be enough. Focus on bonding and meeting her needs, and you get all the other great side effects as well.

Now, the part you might fear the most but absolutely must be said; tell her about your addiction and how you are fighting it. This is absolutely vital. Read the "Disclosure" link in my signature, it explains why.

Congratulations again on choosing to come in now, on your own. Your odds of success are vastly improved already, but understand this; quitting is a possible but extremely difficult thing to do, and you have to go all in. No half measures. If you don't, it will overtake you and ruin your life forever.

Jeeze, I wish I was being hyperbolic with that last statement, but I'm not.

 

Mercy. That is the straight issue right there. I can back up every last word with 15 years of marital bliss and struggle. I just got 94 days free of PM this week. Do it NOW.
Now, telling the gf/wife early and being very straight with her, carefully framing things to let her find her footing, see that I wanted her as a companion and would fight dragons to have her. Without confession -- she knew a relative and neighbor had prematurely exposed me to a lot of sexual content and activity -- we'd never have made it. It's all true.
Now, my precious wife tried to blame my past childhood exposures. She wanted to externalize the threat to have me unsullied to herself. But then she wanted sex and I was grumpy. Why? She was cuddly and I was unavailable or worried I couldn't perform. She had trouble getting pregnant at one point and believed (perhaps with my help) that her infertility was the root of our sexual difficulties. Wrong.
Write me if you want to know more. I'll tell you whatever. I'm a Christian, church plant member four times over. Worship leader. I have never hid this shot from God or others but I also never truly struggled against porn until I did exactly what you just read above. Please. Please take your life and family seriously enough to put your commitment in writing. Tell someone. Dedicate yourself to get in here and help Someone else who is scared their job, marriage, reputation, health, etc might be toast. It's serious and you're off to an amazing start. If I could do anything to light your path I would for your children's sake.

 

Congratulations you are do very well

 

Take advantage and go on a nice honeymoon.

This is the time that newlyweds think nothing else but their desire to constantly have sex with one another.

But do not return to porn or masturbation when your marriage inevitably comes back to reality. Marriage involves complications such and finances and children.

But the stats continue to show that married people have sex that is hotter and more often when compared to their single acquaintances.

 

Be strong gendd. How are you?