Eight months on hard mode -- Observations

One month ago today, I posted to this forum a message at http://goo.gl/10Ri3k to mark seven months of hard-mode no-PMO and to share my tips on making it work.

Today, at eight months, I'm still going, and I don't plan to stop any time soon. I have only the following observations to add:

No man is free who is a slave to his own desires.

It is often said that self-improvement requires leaving one's comfort zone(s). My discomfort zone of choice is the sexual zone. I have learned that life without porn, masturbation, or any kind of sex becomes surprisingly motivating. The ability to redirect the surplus power of one's libido to achieve other goals is a double blessing. My new philosophy of life is, "If it's difficult, do it! (It's nothing compared to giving up sexual gratification.)"

Two life-changing realizations: (1) Sex is totally unnecessary for the survival of the individual (only for that of the species). (2) Masturbation is totally unnecessary for anything at all!

So, human males don't need to fap. We just want to fap.

Oddly, though, we also have a certain want not to fap.

So, at least some of us try it out. It's tough! We relapse, but because we sense value in it, we keep trying.

The less we fap, the more we want to fap less.

The longer we don't fap, the more we want not to fap for even longer.

With dedication, "less" eventually turns into "none," and "longer" turns into "months and months."

One day, we realize that we've probably already fapped for our last time, but we no longer care that we no longer fap.

Why? Because we're fapping all we want to (none), and we're doing it 24/7/365! What could be more satisfying?

 

I will try. If we can agree that intercourse is necessary for survival of the species, but not for survival of the individual; then it naturally follows that masturbation is not a necessity for either. All species have vital needs for survival, and reproduction is one of them. Human orgasms and the flood of neurotransmitters that accompany them exist to promote reproduction, but they're also easily and readily available in a variety of non-reproductive contexts. That isn't necessarily bad, but non-reproductive orgasms have no value whatsoever to the survival of the species--least of all those that we give to ourselves through solo masturbation. They become merely optional and habitual entertainment for the individual. That, again, isn't necessarily bad, unless they interfere with the rest of life. However, when used in conjunction with ever-more- addictive pornography, they become worse than useless--indeed harmful to the physical, mental, emotional, and sexual well-being of the individual. That calls for personal reform, which many of us endeavor to accomplish. I formerly could not imagine living without masturbation as a matter of choice, but I'm now perfectly happy to do so and am eager to continue. It's amazing how a man's mind and body can adapt to widely differing amounts of sexual gratification, including none at all!

 

All NoFap brothers are bros, bro!

 

Update on this thread: Today, I pass ten months on Hard Mode. I have no doubts whatsoever that I'll make my one-year goal. At this point, it's easy. I'm so accustomed to fapstinence that actually masturbating doesn't seriously enter my mind as an option, even when I feel horny.

 

I'm glad to have been helpful. You have a very good start, so keep going. Don't relapse if you can help it; but if you do, get right back up and keep going. This is a marathon, not a sprint. A marathon runner who stumbles doesn't go back to the starting line. He gets up and runs. He's still miles ahead of those not even in the race.

 

The first few weeks are a hump that every fapstronaut has to get over, but it's doable. We all vary, but for me the urges began to be less intense and more manageable after three weeks. From then through about 45 days, they were still significant, but not oppressive. From 45 to 60 days, it was noticeably easier, and after 60 it was smooth sailing. Again, your actual mileage may vary, but expect something generally similar. This means that you need to hang in there just a little longer without relapsing in order to reach the point where the urges begin to moderate and/or you begin to manage them better.