i cannot reboot

have you tried meditating?

 

Seriously, check out Brain Lock. You might find it really helps (link below).

http://ocduk.org/four-steps

 

Same. You have so much in common with me.

 

on a scale of 1 to 10, how hard do you think you are on your self?

 

I think you may be way way way to hard on yourself. ??

 

yeah, you could be hard on your self? maybe make your goals a little easer?

 

would being upset, be a feeling, as well as quilty?

 

feeling guilty is just the opposit of being happy about learning something. look positive side of things and learn from negatives.

 

So... I can relate to you trying to be perfect here.

Many of my streaks failed because I "peeked" by clicking on things I shouldn't have. Or, by searching for things on my phone (it has no filter unlike my computer) and taking a look for a few minutes.

Honestly... We're "addicts". I mean... plenty of times I went all the way because I felt like I didn't deserve to claim I was still on my streak. But, if I'm being honest with myself, we're freaking addicts. Going complete cold turkey is very very tough.

There are two avenues that have always happened with peeking and slip ups:

1. Did reset my streak and went all the way. PMO'ing for hours or days.

2. Convinced myself it was a small wake up call and moved forward. For me... (and others may disagree), a lot depends on what I viewed, how long I viewed it, and how aroused I became.

I think if I'm going to win this battle I need to give up being perfect. Does this mean I am allowed to peek? No!!! Often it will just lead to me PMO'ing. In fact, majority of the time it does. However, I need to come to grips with being an addict and need to understand that doing a perfect steak is fantastic but perhaps fairly unlikely.

What happens when I go 145 days and God forbid search a fetish and look at a few pics for 3 minutes? If I decide my streak is over it will cause me to lose all hope and PMO all the way. That will totally crush my 145 days. Or, I can come to understanding that I'm an addict.... I'm not perfect.... take it as a warning.... and go onto 175 days 240 days and a year!!

So, all in all, at least in my case, it's the perfection that often leads to giving in all the way. And I don't think it's to my benefit at all to keep this thing that strict.

 

By the way.... I know I have OCD to some degree. I play games in my head. Like if a person on TV does not say a certain word in about 15 seconds that means something. Or, I can go ten steps without cursing in my head then it means something. I know what it feels like. I play these stupid games that don't make any sense practically daily. It's become normal sorta by now but I'm aware it's not normal. Def an OCD thing. ​