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10 SuperPowers I gained from Quitting Porn(10 year anniversary)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by ChrisHaven, Oct 24, 2016.

  1. Alex Bee

    Alex Bee Fapstronaut

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  2. phil86

    phil86 Fapstronaut

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    hi I'm only on day 16 but I've had a lot of guidance from my therapist and some literature ive been reading. honestly I haven't had the desire to fap or look at porn. unfortunately my addictions were only realied when at catalyst caused by my addiction allowed me to do some mthing very horrible. what I do have Is the intense desire to work through my childhood trauma and to truly give love back to someone who never questioned me and always supported me before I ever acknowledged my compulsions. what I'm getting at is. it is not the pmo that is the problem. that is a symptom of the problem. it wmcan be the same with any addiction. for us it's sexual. perhaps childhood trauma or sexualization at an early age seeded these coping strategies for us. for sure commercial society is trying to bombard us everyday. all I know is for me it takes much more than I don't want to pmo. it takes why do I pmo ? why am i feeling so much shame and guilt and anxiety in my life. sure pmo has perpetuated these feelings and they exist within us at far higher levels than they should. but once you started asking yourself why and wanting to talk to your inner subpersonalities about your past and how your 'stories' dont dictate you. you won't feel like you're fighting the urge to not pmo. you'll find yourself trying to figure out which ways you want to be the hero in your own life. I know I'm only on day 16 but I've honestly been dealing with so many deeper things in my life that pmo has only become a minor symptom that I basically easily overlooking.
     
  3. phil86

    phil86 Fapstronaut

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    I was so interested in doing that for a long time but I have never been able to due to chronic alcoholism and my compulsive Masturbation and porn addiction. I greatly look forward to this. it can apparently be a great tool to introspective. characters you meet and converse with in tyour dreams can actually be parts of your subconscious that will guide you om to your destiny or your demise. perhaps overcoming an adversary is parallel to overcoming the negative aspects of your life.
     
    Yashar likes this.
  4. Harry Maclad

    Harry Maclad Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I am looking back to how I started PMO and I think it was stress that got me addicted to it. But now I think I am dealing with my stress just fine, I sleep go at least 8 1/2 hours a day. Take a break from my homework sometimes by taking a nice walk outside, I lift weights(my PE class) and also work out on my own. I take cold showers. I have friends and if I keep my NoFap streak now I will get to make more and get closer to them. And so I think with that in check. I will keep abstraining from M. I am on day 11 but i hadn't had a big urge to M in the past three days. Anything else I can do to lower my stress so I can stop M?
     
  5. Yashar

    Yashar Fapstronaut

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    @ChrisHaven Just got one question for you: Do the urges become less instense? And if they do, when does it happen?
     
  6. ChrisHaven

    ChrisHaven Fapstronaut

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    @GradBeo

    Yes. Men brought up by only a female parent or guardian will be lacking in many qualities.
    First off "emancipated" doesn't mean "free", sometimes its simply an advanced form of psychological slavery. In my experience and opinion, a woman cannot ever raise a MAN. She can do a great job of raising a decent human being, but boys need positive male role models. In fact, the male role model doesn't even need to be positive- he does need to be masculine.
    I was raised by a strong dominant mother and a passive father. My mother without a doubt planted some seeds which affected the was I viewed women.
    In my early twenties, I chose to find strong, positive, masculine males as mentors. I also chose to systematically dismantle my fears of women and societal conditioning.
    For me, this was one of the causes of my porn use- the conditioning that implied it was wrong to make eye contact with women, talk to attractive women in public and express sexual interest in a healthy way, etc. This all led to shame.
    A woman can do her best, but she will never raise a healthy, masculine male without a strong male presence. This also goes the other way- men need the nurturing of a mother and the experience of the long term resilience and unconditional love most women have for their children.
    The good news is that all conditioning picked up from being raised by a woman can be dropped/reduced and replaced with more masculine conditioning.
    The danger is going overboard into misogyny or being overwhelmed and retreating into the whole MGTOW philosophy.
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  7. ChrisHaven

    ChrisHaven Fapstronaut

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    @Alex Bee

    I believe my longest flatline streak was almost two months. I was also involved in intense training for my career( which may have contributed t it), so PMO was not a priority and I wasn't too worried about it.
    Just a price we have to pay. As you know, you'll be fine- its just not something you have much control over.
     
    ronkumar and Espi1971 like this.
  8. ChrisHaven

    ChrisHaven Fapstronaut

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    @Yashar
    I had more lucid dreams during the early days of quitting porn.
    Now, I don't dream at all- or rather, I don't remember them.
    I live a lifestyle that doesn't really prioritize sleep, so dreams are no longer a priority either.
     
  9. ChrisHaven

    ChrisHaven Fapstronaut

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    @Deadlihood , as @noexcuses said, a majority of these orgasms were "dry orgasms". That particular "session" was about 4 hours straight. As I mentioned- I am still researching this. I believed there are a few factors involved, including emotional state, the person you are with (in this case it was with an very attractive woman who had every single physical quality I had prioritized in my PMO days), your sexual health ( I am a Kegel freak ) , and of course the way your brain rewires. I have a light theory that mens brains rewire very differently after years of PMO use- hence the "super powers" I mention will be slightly different for each man.
    Again- this is a theory that I'm working on- not a fact.
    The only facts are my personal experiences- I'm glad to see they have been encouraging to many of you.

    I feel I should also clarify that while there are super powers, there are also a few weaknesses and we should NEVER take for granted the fact that you can relapse at any time. Personally, my entire lifestyle is set up in subtle ways to avoid relapse.

    I'll keep everyone posted on what I learn about recovering porn users and their sexual lives post porn. Obviously a new and murky field.
     
    Deadlihood likes this.
  10. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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  11. A WARRIOR KING

    A WARRIOR KING New Fapstronaut

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    Bro u made me to view my life in different dimension.Thank u for sharing Ur experience.Im on the way to success and glory.
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  12. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Awesome post! Its old one, but I have read it just now. Thank you for finding it @A WARRIOR KING
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  13. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    @ChrisHaven Thank you so much for sharing, its a such an inspiring post. Please if you have time, let us know how are you doing now 4 years later. Wish you all the best!
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  14. Summer Son

    Summer Son Fapstronaut

    Impressive, thanks for sharing.
     
  15. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you and congratulations on what now must be over 13 years without porn!
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2020
  16. tidus

    tidus Fapstronaut
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    I'm glad someone revived this thread. It was a fantastic read. Thank you!
     
  17. Redlobster

    Redlobster New Fapstronaut

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    Awesome progress man, really inspiring!

    Just two things I don't agree with you on:
    - The need for feeling superior. That will make it harder for you to connect with other people, because it's a distancing action that I believe stems in a defensive behavior. You should look into self-worth. Real self-worth comes from within and no need for comparison with someone else to have it is needed.
    - Passion - Passion is not only possible to achieve, but needed. Maybe not everyone can work with what they are passionate about when they start out discovering it, but to have a dream where you can make you living by doing something you are passionate about is a high set goal, but I also believe achievable with enough time and patience.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
    Frankii and NeverTooLate like this.
  18. Gasolgasol

    Gasolgasol Fapstronaut

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    Hi, Chris. I would like to ask you how much time it took you to get used to the new you. I am now on my 70 days streak and I feel like I am learning to live again. I had certain behavior patterns which I developed through many years of my fapping life and now they are changing. it's so weird. So I would like to know when do you start to completely perceive the nofap you as the real normal you.
     
  19. Hustlerr

    Hustlerr Fapstronaut

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    You killed it!
    You have done what I am looking up to. I am on day 16 so there is no big difference in my life. I'm just more positive and doing my tasks easier.
    I tried hundreds of times and managed to almost 90 days and I can say that was crazy hard first month, but those were best days of my 22 years of life. I had brutal amount of energy and great self confidence.
    It become easy to beat urges, but I failed only because I thought I am healed and I don't need to save myself from failing.
    Now I signed up on this forum and it is better when I can share my story.
    Now I don't want to go old path, because I made a strong decision that I will make my dreams come true.
     
  20. theoptimist

    theoptimist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this wonderful info.
     

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