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Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by captainron, May 27, 2014.

  1. captainron

    captainron New Fapstronaut

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    My story:

    I'm not certain I'm addicted to porn. But I do think it is affecting my sexual life in a negative way. I'm a straight male in my early 30's. My porn usage has gotten gradually more and more extreme. currently I watch to almost exclusivity, anal videos. My sexual preferences with a partner have gone from vaginal, to anal, rimming and even having her use a finger on me.

    I broke up with a 3 year girlfriend about 9 months ago. Up until that time I have had no difficulty reaching orgasm during regular sex (without condom). Since the breakup I have resulted to porn and more casual sex partners(with a condom) and more extreme sex. I have found reaching orgasm from anything but oral sex, very difficult. I thought this might be a side effect of condoms since they reduce your sensitivity (I even tried 4 different brands some of which I have used successfully in the past). But then I started having difficulty staying hard during sex. And this was with women that I was very much attracted to. This is what started to worry me. First Girl: Very experienced and always trying to please me. But as a sexual novelty, and possibly relevant to my ED, she's a squirter. We normally drink heavily together before hooking up, so I rationalized any difficult reaching orgasm with having whiskey dick. Second Girl: I internally blamed it on her because she was a rather needy and all around difficult lover. But externally, and verbally I blamed it on the condoms and alcohol. Third Girl: She is not needy at all, but seems less experienced than what i'm used to. She still has a hard time getting me to reach orgasm. So I ultimately blamed it on her inexperience.

    I like to think I'm pretty rational guy. So when things start to not add up, I start look for answers. A quick internet search uncovers a youtube video from yourbrainonporn. Now things are starting to make a little sense. Maybe number 2's particularities weren't totally to blame. And maybe it wasn't whiskey dick with number 1. And maybe number 3's inexperience wasn't the entire problem. Maybe the problem was with me.

    Since viewing the videos and abstaining from "hardcore porn" for almost 2 weeks. I have had two orgasms vaginally with number 3. I still have difficulty reaching orgasm with number 1 vaginally and even orally sometimes. Although, this might ultimately be because of alcohol ( i can't rule it out). I also haven't had any further encounters with number 2, so i can't include her in my results.

    I'm trying to continue abstaining from watching Hardcore Porn. But tonight was difficult, and totally caught me off guard. It's ultimately the reason i'm writing this right now. I Needed to find something to distract my mind from wanting to watch porn. So here's what happened. I was reading an online post (you know the ones that go something like this "29 reasons to grow a mustach". Well this one was 10 teen celebs who's lives had been ruined by their careers in hollywood. You would think harmless right? Well one of the actresses (rather well known) on her way to rock bottom had done a stint in porn. Out of curiosity I wanted to see if she done any anal scenes. So stupid me pulled up the google search bar and typed in the actresses name and anal sex, and would you know it so happens yes she did. A Beautiful blue link appeared before my eyes. I couldn't resist I clicked on the video link to get a peak and wham, I wanted to masturbate. I really had to talk myself out of it, but found no good reason not to other than it might set me back with sex a few weeks. So that's when i started writing this.

    k that's my story, I think the craving is gone. I think i can sleep now. Goodnight and good luck. Oh, and yeah, maybe I'm a little addicted to porn. :-/
     
  2. AnythingIsPossible

    AnythingIsPossible Fapstronaut

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    Hey man welcome to the community! :D

    A lot of people on here have split up with their partners, and whilst it's difficult to ascertain whether PMO addiction is solely responsible, you'll find a lot of support here from guys who've experienced similar things.

    Good luck :)
     

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