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If your pornography addiction was a person, what would you say to it?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Wife's perspective, Nov 11, 2013.

  1. Wife's perspective

    Wife's perspective Fapstronaut

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    My husband has recently said that he wishes he could kick the $hit out of his addiction. And that got me to looking at his addiction with person-like qualities. I imagine a sick, disheveled, gaunt, nasty, disgusting person (no specific gender) that spends all its time trying to get my husband's attention. I try to imagine it separate from my husband because it really isn't who he is. If you could talk to your addiction as if it were a person, what would you say?
     
  2. tenthyoung

    tenthyoung Fapstronaut

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    "Enough is enough, yo! This is my territory, homes! You can't be grillin' up in my hood, namsayin'? I'm the one who knocks, yo!"

    ahah, i dont know, I tried. jkjk, seriously though, this is what I would say, if my addiction like manifested himself as a person before me:

    "I created you. You and I had an innocence before. It uses to be about curiosity and excitement, but it was short lasting... As much pleasure that I thought you could give me, you could not... As much comfort that I thought you could provide me, you did not deliver... As much as there is left inside of me out of the man that you have crippled, I must say, 'This is where we part ways.'"
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2013
  3. Heneman

    Heneman Fapstronaut

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    It often seems to me that I am two separate people. One goes about his daily business, is one of the nicest guys you could meet, and lives his life normally. The other person takes over when he's alone or can't sleep, and this person is a filthy, deceitful pervert that'll do anything to get his rocks off, then immediately abandons the field and leaves the first guy to deal with the aftermath. "Go the hell away. I don't like you and I don't need you. You're certainly not my friend! You sit there and tell me that it's ok, that I need to do this to be relaxed and in control. That it doesn't hurt anyone. But that's just not true. It's hurt me in countless ways. It's hurt my loved ones. And after, when You've gotten what you want and take off again, I'm left sitting here wondering what the hell I was thinking. You don't worry about being caught. You weren't there when I couldn't get off during sex. And I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you! Just Go...Away. Life is hard enough as it is, and if I don't get you out now, you'll eventually do something to completely ruin it. "
     
  4. Volition

    Volition Fapstronaut

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    Good question! I actually think about this a little differently....

    I see the PMO habit as a bunch of old programming or wiring that has been used for years. It still runs automatically while ever we let it, and don't consciously create a new program. I find that the more I 'rewire' myself through new activities and thinking of myself as having new wiring, the easier it is to move past old habits and urges.

    From my perspective, thinking of the PMO habit as a person gives it power and choice, and you are essentially in a battle of wills. Whereas thinking of it as 'old wiring' gives you power to be objective (and forgiving of yourself) and lets you have the power to keep rewiring.

    Just my perspective, and I don't mean to railroad your thread, but it is really helping me stay clean.
     
  5. Blue

    Blue Fapstronaut

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    This is an interesting and thoughtful question. And incidentally, thank you for your perspective, WP. I don't look at addiction as separate from myself. It is intrinsic, perhaps inherent, to me. Addiction doesn't go away in my belief. It can go into a remission of sorts. But I'll never be able to look at porn successfully and safely. It will lead me back to a bad place quickly. Volition looks at is as old wiring and our job is to rewire and reprogram. That's as good an analogy as any. I just believe the old wiring doesn't go away; it's always there; it's hardwired. My job is not to activate it.
     
  6. Heneman

    Heneman Fapstronaut

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    I think I may have expressed myself badly. I don't actually generally see my addiction as separate. What I meant was that when I look at the things i've done, I think "Who is this? I'm a decent person. I didn't think I was that sort of person. How did I let this happen?"
     
  7. Herald

    Herald Fapstronaut

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    If it was manifested: It would be as sirens calling, promising sweet things. But if you listen they will kill you. So what i would say is. "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I HAVE WAX IN MY EARS." And point to my ears. After a while they get bored and leave.
    Important to note, is that the sirens wouldn't represent the trigger. But the "brain system" started after being triggered...The sirens you created.
     
  8. Heneman

    Heneman Fapstronaut

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    Hah! Excellent comparison. Odysseus' dreaded sirens, beckoning so sweetly, promising so many pleasures, and resulting only in your destruction.
     
  9. Sisyphus

    Sisyphus Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, love me some greek mythological metaphors!
    If my addiction was a person I'd say "shhh".
     
  10. chris4nj

    chris4nj Fapstronaut

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    I might say:
    You have been a close companion for years. You did help me when things were tough. And, it's now time for us to go our separate ways. I am ready for other things, like love.
     
  11. hope2013

    hope2013 Fapstronaut

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    This is how I see it... I don't agree with the idea that there are two separate parts of one whole person. I view it as this, an addiction arises from a lack of something in your life and you are turning to your addiction to try to fulfill something missing that can not and will not ever be fulfilled with your addiction. I feel that deep down there is a lack of love either from your past relationships or events in your life. And in my mindset to overcome anything you need love from family and friends and only love can fulfill the void in your heart which nothing in the world even addiction can replace or fulfill. So you have to realize that you are one person and the choices and decisions you made in the past are stemming from yourself. I also believe that each person can choose to be a good person and the choice is your own to either plant a seed of good will that will bring fruits of love or to choose to let your mind be in a dark state where there is no conscious mind allowing critical analysis of whether you are leading a life you wish to lead.
     
  12. DireWolf

    DireWolf Fapstronaut

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    i would in a very calm manner would make a formal appointment with P in a good coffee shop, and i would say to it that i've grown and that its better for me, and for the rest of the human race P goes quietly into the night and with time dissapear from history forever, that is your only warning, because otherwise its gonna be hell to pay because i ain't daddy's little boy no more and im not afraid.
     
  13. I think Gollum from Lord of the Rings is a pretty good analogy to PMO addiction.

    When I'm addicted to it I both hate it and love it at the same time, just as I hate and love myself when I'm in the PMO cycle.

    In order to end the addiction Gollum has to fall into the lava with the ring. Likewise, you have to shed yourself of a very precious and pleasureful, shiny thing that can make you feel good in the moment. But in doing so you are also casting away the ugly, viral, demonic little creature that you've been calling "yourself" for so long.
     
  14. FapFreeForever

    FapFreeForever Fapstronaut

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    This is a great thread.

    My take on this is, having had the epiphany yesterday ie seeing myself in the throes of an orgasm to a screen (therefore not 'real') woman and seeing how pathetic that looked, I now have a more objective take on what's been happening whereas before I was simply within it all the time. I can now see there is a separation between 'normal' me the functioning part of me that doesn't hide out fapping in a darkened room and the crazy one who does these things.

    Now I would look at the person who porn represents and they would be creeping around trying to get me to succumb to my sexual stimulation loop and I would say in the strongest terms "**** OFF, you arrogant b******. How dare you come into my brain and tell me what to do. **** Off and get your own life cos you're no longer having mine!"
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2013
  15. draco07

    draco07 New Fapstronaut

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    Well, I don't know. But I believe it retires so many energy from us. I would ask to it to leave me in peace. I think the worse is the fear. Talk about the addiction is a good thing to forget it. The problem is... With who? The intime peoples we trust are that ones we feel more fear, you know. I would pray to be stronger and that's it ask to the addiction leave me for some weeks. Time... A litte time to... I grow my mind. Best wishes.
     
  16. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I would acknowledge it, accept it, and I would say 'thank you for being my greatest teacher'. I would let it know that I will fully ensure that I make a full commitment to learn and understand the lessons my relationship with it have contained, however heavily disguised, but that I have no attachment to it whatsoever and am now ready to let it go and move beyond it. I would inform it that from this moment on I am going to ignore it in full knowledge that this will bring about its certain death. Yes it will beg and plead for its very survival depends upon my indulging it. But I would show it no mercy for it cares ONLY for its own survival at ANY cost, even my life. But neither would I blame it for it was me who gave it life, fed it, nurtured it, but must now kill it to ensure my own survival. There is no other choice. And I must be ruthless. But I feel neither joy nor saddness for its demise, just eternally grateful that it helped me find reserves of strength that I would never have discovered had I never given birth to it. Or I might just tell it to 'f**k off!!' ;)
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2013
  17. Best In The World. :D

    If my addcition would be a person I would say to him: go, f**k yourself....wait, WHAT? :D :D
     
  18. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    If my addcition would be a person I would say to him: go, f**k yourself....wait, WHAT? :D :D[/QUOTE]

    :eek: :D
     
  19. You_Can_Do_lt

    You_Can_Do_lt Fapstronaut

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    I added this to my journal today, and decided to hop over here to add it to the proper discussion. Anyway, this is what I'd say:

    Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for never letting me down no matter what, and always being there when I felt like everyone had abandoned me or was completely alone.

    Thanks, but I don't need you anymore. I can't keep using you as a crutch to cover up what I'm feeling and going through. Because I can't feel when you're around. You make me numb, and I don't want to be numb anymore. I need to feel again.

    Because with all the pain that you've taken away for me, you've also robbed me of my joy and motivation. If I need to feel the pain to enjoy the richness of life, then so be it. But I won't be needing you anymore.

    So, thanks. But we just can't hang anymore.
     

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