My motivational stuff

I will be posting here all kind of motivational stuff, links, speeches, videos, etc.
I hope nobody claims copyright

 

The urge killer (https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/584i02/think_of_porn_like_this_urge_killer/)

"Porn is a delicious chocolate ice cream sunday.

A big towering mountain of chocolate fudge ice cream with butterscotch chunks and salted caramel pieces.

All topped off with hot molten chocolate sauce.

You're starving and It looks like the best thing in the world.

When you start to eat it's so good. You cram more and more into your face. Eating as fast as you can. Loving every minute.

Soon enough it becomes too much and you erupt with pleasure. Now you're completely full. You don't want or need anymore.

Then you realise, 'oh fuck'. 'This isn't chocolate ice cream at all. It's actually human shit. A huge bowl of stinking disgusting liquidy feces.'

And what's worse is your mouth is full of it. And it's all over your clothes and your belly is full to the brim with human shit.

You've been feasting on a bowl of hot steaming shit

It's a trap.

Always remember. It's pure poison. It looks like chocolate ice cream because it's got you under its spell. But it's pure human shit. And that's what you feast on every time. Poison."

 

ok @Davy . For you guys that isn´t apropriate, but for me it helps. most of us here have every kind of fetishes so there are a lot of triggers everywhere.

 

That´s really motivational... I guess then you will never fail...

 

That´s true, in case of emergency, when your urges are so strong that you cannot think logically, then I think it is helpful.
On the other hand destroying your old habits and replacing them with new fulfilling ones will help you long-term.

 

From the great fapstronaut @fercho: https://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.p...lped-me-a-lot-during-my-first-100-days.45178/
Again @fercho:
https://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.p...-will-help-you-with-reboot.46149/#post-344839

 

" To figure out if something is good for you , you just have to ask two simple questions: " Where does it lead you? And where does it leave you".

 

Nice video about neuroplasticity. She talks about how our thoughts and habits shape our brain.

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from a post of @William

"Withdrawals suck. We don't talk enough about them here. They are why we fail. They are our brain's dopamine drenched chemical reward center begging us, threatening us, punishing us, pleading with us, rationalizing with us why we need to PMO. Withdrawals are painful, they are physical, mental, and emotional pain. They are the jitters, the shakes, the sweats, odd pains in odd places, the brain fog we feel when quitting, and our brain's way of telling us all that unpleasantness can go away with just a little harmless fix. When going through withdrawal I felt I had a sinus infection and my teeth actually hurt. I did not have a sinus infection and my teeth were fine, but my brain, at some level, had to make me feel bad to try and make me feel good through a porn induced dopamine release. The good thing is, if you are having withdrawals, it means your brain's dopamine levels are on their way back to normal. Once you get back to normal those things stop, but you can't get back to normal until your brain re-balances, and that takes, depending on who you speak to, between 11 and 90 days. I usually guestimate between 11 and 40. Newbies must be told this will not be easy, it will be hard, and they have to expect this pain, endure it, embrace it and even want it to accomplish our task, getting dopamine production back to normal. "

"Lastly, we need to let the newbies know that porn is not just porn, it is any sexual imagery that sets off dopamine release. Porn is seeing it, watching it, perceiving it, hearing it, thinking of it, imagining it, remembering it. It is having an orgasm while thinking of it, whether with a partner or during MO. It is edging. It is PMOing. It is using porn substitutes like chat rooms or soft core imagery that triggers a dopamine release"

 

A very nice quote from @JasonIsReal :
"Also what helps is, you crave lust right? Start watching love movies and those kind of things so you will crave love instead of lust over time.

The thing is, when you crave lust you don't think about love. But when you crave love you don't think about lust. So this is helpful, also try to connect with woman on a human level instead of thinking with your dick.

I stiell have strong cravings currently but I can see a huge difference between love and lust and I choose love over lust."

 

Urge surfing
Something about coping with urges from https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/4u5kxu/urge_surfing_is_really_helping_me_heres_how_to_do/

"Riding the Wave: Using Mindfulness to Help Cope with Urges:

Changing a habit is hard. Anyone who has tried to change their fapping habits, quit smoking, start an exercise program, or stop drinking or using drugs can tell you how difficult it can be at times to change old habits. In my last post I discussed how slipping (i.e., falling back into an old habit) can sometimes set us up for a relapse (i.e., continuing a habit beyond the initial slip) due to a phenomenon known as the Abstinence Violation Effect. In this post, I’d like to talk about a technique that can help you before you slip, a technique called “urge surfing.”

What is Urge Surfing? Urge surfing is a technique attributed to the late psychologist Alan Marlatt, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of addictions treatment. We can think of an urge as an impulse to engage in an old habit, such as fapping, and they are often experienced as physical sensations in the body. Urges are like waves in that they rise in intensity, peak, and eventually crash. Here's a brief exercise you can do to explore this technique: Stop for a moment and think about an urge that you recently experienced. As you think about this urge, see if you can notice all the sensations that come up as you think about it; see if you notice how these sensations shift across time. Use your breath to help you ride out the waves (i.e., the urge); like a surfboard, you can simply observe your breath as you ride out each wave that arises. Congratulations! You just successfully surfed your first urge!

Urges usually peak between 20 – 30 minutes, if we let them. What I mean by this last phrase is this: if we adopt an open and curious attitude about the urge and watch it without doing battle with it, then the urge will subside. However, if we go to battle with our urges (e.g., “I can’t stand this urge! I have to get rid of it right now!”), they will subside more slowly. Worse, by giving into urges we can actually strengthen them and we can lose confidence in our abilities to change our old habits.

How to Surf an Urge There are slight variations of the urge surfing technique, but most include the following steps: Take a few moments to notice where you experience urges in your body. You can do this by taking some time to sit in a quiet place, and if you are comfortable doing so, closing your eyes, and just allowing your attention to go to the place(s) in your body where you tend to feel urges. For some people they notice that urges are most connected to sensations in their abdomens; for others, they notice urges in their mouth (e.g., their mouths water when experiencing an urge to drink). There is no right or wrong place for an urge to be located. What is most important is that you notice where in your body you most notice urges when they show up. If you are having trouble noticing urges, think back to a time when you experienced an urge to engage in an old habit. If you are concerned that thinking about a particular instance when you had an urge will lead to doing the habit, pick a situation where the urge was less strong or you successfully prevented yourself from acting on the urge. Picture the situation as clearly as you can in your imagination. Once the situation is clear in your mind notice where in your body you are experiencing the urge. Once you have noticed what part of your body is most connected to the urge, focus your attention on it (if you notice that more than 1 area of your body is connected to an urge, start with the place that you most intensely notice the urge). Take note of the sensations you are having in this body part. What do the sensations feel like? Does it feel like pressure, tingling, warmth, or coolness? How much space do these sensations take up in this place in your body? Try to draw an outline around the place where the sensations are felt. See if the sensations have any movement. Some people tend to associate sensations with colors or temperatures. Check to see if you notice any colors or temperature associated with these sensations. For some people it can be helpful to silently describe the sensations in an objective and non-judgmental manner (e.g., I notice warmth and tingling in my belly). If more than one part of your body is associated with an urge, go through this exercise with each body part. Bring your attention to your breath. You do not need to change your breathing at all. Notice your breath for the next 1-2 minutes. Some people find it helpful to bring their attention to a particular place in their body where they notice their breath (e.g., the abdomen); some find it helpful to say phrases like “breathe in,” “breathe out” as they inhale and exhale. Gently shift your attention back to the part(s) of your body where you notice the urge. Allow yourself to notice whatever sensations come up in these places. If it becomes overwhelming to notice the sensations, gently return your attention back to breath for a few moments and then go back to noticing the sensations connected to the urge. You may find it helpful to imagine sending your breath to the parts of your body that are associated with the urge (e.g., you can breathe into your shoulders and let your breath fill up that part of your body). Notice if and how the sensations change as you watch them. Be sure to practice this step for at least 1 minute, but longer is probably better. This next step is optional, but I have found it to be helpful in my own life and in working with people with addictions. Imagine that the sensations connected with your urge are a wave. Watch the wave rise and fall over and over again as the intensity of your sensations peak and subside. Your job is to use your breath as a surfboard to ride these waves. No matter how big the wave gets, no matter how much you feel as if the wave will consume you, you are a skilled surfer and you will use your breath to ride each wave as it comes. Practice this for at least 1 minute, but again, longer is probably better, particularly the first few times you practice this. As you’re riding the wave (or just noticing the sensations), you may find it helpful to silently describe the sensations in an objective and non-judgmental way (e.g., I notice warmth in my belly that is increasing…the warmth in my belly is decreasing and my belly feels cooler). When you are done surfing the urge, take a moment to thank yourself for taking the time and being willing to do something different with your urges. You can also use this time to set your intention for the next few minutes, hour, or day. That’s it! With practice urge surfing gets easier and you may discover that you are an excellent surfer. You can practice this technique in two ways: You can start urge surfing whenever you notice yourself having an urge. This can be a particularly useful technique when you notice urges to go back to old habit that you are trying to break. You can practice this on a regular basis by setting aside time to practice using the technique. Many people find that listening to an audio recording of the technique is useful at first. Through this kind of formal practice, you can get better at urge surfing so that you're better at it when you need it. You’ll find that, with practice, urges will become easier to ride out. You may even start to feel a sense of pride or accomplishment as you successfully surf urges and act according to your values, instead of according to your urges. Source:http://www.portlandpsychotherapycli...riding-wave-using-mindfulness-help-cope-urges"

 

Urge surfing - an audio clip

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/a-mindfulness-urge-surfing-clip.36253/

 

Blaise Pascal

One of the most stunning quotes of Blaise Pascal (I don´t even know who this guy is):
"All of human unhappiness comes from one thing: not knowing how to remain at rest in a room."