Merry Christmas dudes!

Boxing Day morning and feeling horny - not fun..! My journey of masterbation and porn started when I was 18 when I left for uni back in 2004. I would be fapping two-three times a week to hardcore scenes.. I did feel weak, insecure and have no backbone... was picked on at school which followed me about for a while so I guess that hadn't helped my self esteem. I lost my virginity to a Spanish laydee at 18 then a few months later I got involved with another uni student for a years entanglement.

After we broke up, I plunged back into the porn, smoking a tonne of weed and drinking hard - passed the course and landed a job as a designer on a career path with a different direction! The porn use didn't stop.. I was watching it every night for two years til I met my second laydee. Three and a bit years went by and I broke up with her.

Plunged into porn again every night, which was getting increasingly morbid and unfulfilling. A few months of this and I discovered self-development (and a freaky big, bouncy laydee )... I gave up PMO for five months, confidence sky rocketed, women found me more attractive (cue a couple more one nighters) and started seeing another laydee... we only dated for over a year then mutually finished it off - still friends! I packed in my job which the line manager was pretty much bullying me for eight years.. I do wish I left a turd on his desk..! My job situation has been going from strength to strength since and this year started working for a blue chip company. Started dating someone at the same time and job went to pot straight after she couldn't date me any more... the job ended up being VERY intense as I was chucked in the deep end with him expecting me to not make any mistakes.. we're human dammit!!!

A few months after, landed a brand new job which the design role is still going strong.. I had relapsed to PMO a bit since, but only twice a week with soft porn - still not worth it though and kept draining my energy! I started seeing another laydee and things were looking great - two weeks ago after four months of solid companionship she ripped my heart out... first girl to ever dump me so I of course relapsed hard... still struggling and it has been three days now.. I know if I can stop PMO for good, my life would just skyrocket... extra curricular activities exist so need to re-establish them in the new year I should know better at 31. This is the first time I have ever brought up my life story in terms of my relationship to porn and how it effected my work / social life.. it did leave me feeling insecure, anxious and depressed for a long time...

Sorry for the massive first post, it's quite an intro! God speed and enjoy the festive fun.. I am now off to play chef for the day and speak soon brothers

L Dog85

 

Cheers bud forgot to mention I am born and bred in Suffolk UK.. a massive shout out to any other UK bound bro's!