I need help.

What was your motivation for quitting in the first place?

 

Keep on the journey! I know those terrible feelings after relapsing. The world of porn is not a good world to be and live in. You are fighting a good fight!

 

You have already experience the other side of PMO and feelings associated with it.Now try to remain PMO free for say few days(30 days or more) that too hard mode(no edging,no MO,no P and P subs) and write your experience daily.Do this experiment again.On the basis of your observation make an informed choice.This way you wud have learnt somehow to control ur brain.You wud see a change as mind will grow stronger,and wud provide solution to all ur problem.The whole idea of this excercise is to grow stronger.

 

That happens to me, too. I think we do change and get better when we're free of pornography, we just don't notice it so easily all the time. As you said though, the change when you're back on it is obvious and feels terrible, so that's the real evidence.

 

Think about how much time you will save and what will be your rewards. And when you watch porn, you won't get what you want. So, what do you choose? Porn or good life. I think about it everyday. Even I have urges.. but I know that watching porn is a road to hell. There is no benefit of it at all. I'm on my day 13 but I have promised myself not to watch this time.

 

You may need real life help, too.

I go to a group that my church runs, and they have them all over, if you're interested

https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/find-a-meeting?lang=eng

There are a lot of other support groups out there, too.

 

Really like the quote on your signature Don, about freedom. So true! What a thing it is to be free...