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Worse than ever!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. Guys. Its been a long time since the last time I opened nofap.

    Let me tell you my story:

    "Last summer, I had an important exam in July, 2016. People from India know how damn hard it is to get into a government medical college. So I dropped an year after passing intermediate to prepare for the national level test. I kept failing those practice tests, I kept going to porn, I kept procrastinating and two months vanished and I couldnt revise a single thing. The result was obvious. I was far from achieving any college, let alone the prestigious government colleges. I knew it was all because of me procrastinating with porn. My focus destroyed completely. I couldn't concentrate any further. I wanted to give up. But I have the best of people by my side. My family. They encouraged me to try again and here I am. I'll be honest and I can say that this year I am really more confident about that test. But I fear that the thing which led me to failure might do its work at the last time. I fear me failing to achieve my goals for the second time."

    I had a roller coaster ride filled with some happy days, some depression, withdrawal symptoms and relapses. And you know what? It just kept getting worse. I thought not using nofap (or internet) for a while will get this off of me. Man I was wrong!
    It kinda sucks when you see people around you achieving their dreams you can not get your ass off of this curse.
    You feel doomed. You feel as if everything is slipping through your hands. You feel worthless. Your habit drains all your motivation to do something brave!
    I feel so lost. I dont feel the surge to get out from this anymore. I feel like giving up. But then I offer salaah and how awesome I feel for the next one hour or so. Only to relapse later in the day. It just keeps on getting harder. I don't feel the energy to quit anymore. I don't think I can quit this ever but still I keep on trying. My body feels hollow.
    This is the worst thing happening to me right now and I cant get this off of me. I have faith in myself but I see that diminishing with the passage of every damn second.
     
    seba5116 and SoulOf1Lion like this.
  2. I believe in you my freind, it's hard but we're gonna do it bud, im 4 days free myself
     
  3. Don't give up brother. I know the feeling when you feel just stuck and you don't know where much needed change should come from. You are not alone!!
     
  4. seba5116 and spaceexperiment like this.
  5. bonbonboi

    bonbonboi Fapstronaut

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    I myself got a lot of energy no matter what, means I could fap with no bad feelings, since I have the knowledge how/when/where, plus fappin' would not let you down, unless you allowed that to be happen, more over, try to fap with another guy/girl, that makes you feel nothing as if you do it alone. Trust me in this: "sex meant to be shared with others" , do not have sex alone, no matter what, always pick up a person, if there is no one, just keep waiting............
     
  6. Almost at a week how about you guys?
     
  7. Day 4 :)
     
  8. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    A lot of actors or actress had mental illness, and the more you watch and imitate, the higher chance you get a mental illness or depression.
    Walk away from sexual stuff, Shall the World Award you and improve your destiny! Don't get driven by your thoughts, but control them. You are the owner of your thoughts instead of the slave.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2017
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    almost 60 days. I saw a Chinese guy did like 3 years so far. My goal is to count it by years instead of weeks or months or days! Work hard !
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Xano

    Xano New Fapstronaut

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    Hang in there brother. Your fellow countryman is telling you this. They say the hardest step is the first and in NoFap, DAMN RIGHT ITS FREAKISHLY HARD in the beginning. No matter how hard take those first steps. You might feel no difference in the first two or three weeks but trust me stay strong, continue, be off temptations. You will not regret it. Changes are suttle n gradual but you will understand when your body gradually fixes itself again. Its the small things - you will want to pick up that book u wanted to read since the haze of PMO, a topic in your biology lesson that greatly interested you once but was lost in the haze will interest u again, and so on. Remember a time before u got into the hole of PMO. You will gradually feel that again. I was 5 years in this hell and now over 70 days clean I dont want to stop. I dont ever want to go back. You will not too once u get out. So take those first steps n soldier on cause you need to take your life back brother.
     
  11. seba5116

    seba5116 Fapstronaut

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    Comeon Abdullah you can do it! You are so much worth it!!! Love from a danish brother
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. stockholm

    stockholm Fapstronaut

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    24 days, hard mode, going strong.
     
  13. Thank you so much brother! People like you are hard to find :)
     
    Audere est Facere likes this.
  14. Audere est Facere

    Audere est Facere Fapstronaut

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    Salaam Alaikum Brother,

    A fellow muslim here. Just wanted to send my peace and best prayers for your success.

    Inshallah you will succeed, and remember "God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves"
     
    seba5116 and Deleted Account like this.
  15. Fatsodubmo

    Fatsodubmo Fapstronaut

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    Abdullah, we are all here with you buddy! Day 41 here on my first reboot attempt after 15 years of addiction.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. The truest statement.

    Waalikum assalam brother. May you get a greater reward for your kindness. May we all succeed.
    Jazakallahu khair.

    Nofap is the most helpful community I have ever seen!
     
    Audere est Facere likes this.
  17. Audere est Facere

    Audere est Facere Fapstronaut

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    Ameen! Indeed NoFap has been the biggest help for me ever in my journey. This was truly God-sent.

    Keep working hard Abdullah, and try to see if you can journal your daily progress. That's been really helpful to me!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. Pyara31

    Pyara31 Fapstronaut

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    @Abdullah The problem with you buddy is that you fear failure more than you love success, You have to imagine yourself in your mind how you are going to turn out with *Nofap*, that's going to be your good side, you want that side but on the other hand you got your PMO side "the bad side" you fear it more than you love your good side. You have to start loving your success(your good side) and there will be failures believe me. But our glory is not in never falling but rising every time we fall.. FALL SEVEN TIMES? GET BACK UP 8 TIMES.. ITS ALL IN YOUR MIND. START LOVING THE BENEFITS THAT YOU WILL GET WHEN YOU WILL NOT MO. Because then your love for it will overcome your fear of failure. :D
     

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