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Beginning the journey

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by TheProdigalSon, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. TheProdigalSon

    TheProdigalSon Fapstronaut

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    Let me first say 'hello to you all.' I have been told and have looked through this sight a couple of times, but never really pushed myself to sign up for it. I'm an 18 year old porn addict that had started this ugly road when I was 12. I remeber specifically that it had started with looking up out of curiosity the mass effect 3 sex scene with Shepard and Miranda. Though it was only a video game, its images were the "adult themes" that I had never seen before. When I got 'excited,' I thought nothing of it. So, I continued with different sex scenes in the game to get this same sensation. Weeks later, I started moving on to different games that showed similar themes in them. It 's funny, I may not have known that these acts of mine were bad, but I always did this in hiding. Anyway, weeks after that, I moved on to videos with Megan fox. This lead me to see the lesbian scene in the movie Jennifer's Body, which caused a huge sensation similar to that original mass effect scene. Next, I started going to YouTube porn for lesbians (mainly so I don't have to see the guy's thing). You would think that this would be insufficient, but sometimes a video or set of them would get posted for a couple of days, then YouTube would take them down. This occurred for about a year and a half. Then, I finally turned to PornHub. To this day, I still watch it with also the new VR videos that they offer. With this book of a backstory, my point is that this addiction escalated over time. I'm a religious individual and I had found out that porn and masterbation is bad at the beginning of high school, but I still continue to do this anyway cause of the urges which I am too weak to fight. And after finding out the truth about this, the guilt stabs at me like a knife each time that I do it. First, it made me hate myself each time I failed in trying to quit. Then, I also started to hate gays and especially lesbians for making me this way, even though I watch the lesbians in porn (now I have learned to just look away and let them be who they want it be...though I don't agree with what they do, I don't want them to not live a happy life). Lastly, thru the dark days where I was failing in other aspects of life (school, relationships, weight loss, etc), I started getting thoughts of suicide and thoughts of just running away from my life (that was a year ago and I have found people to help me cope when I'm down).

    So, through all of this, I want to move on and be happy. To get there I'm working on one flaw at a time:

    Obesity (this has been present throughout my entire life)

    Procrastination

    Social anxiety

    Low self esteem

    Porn addiction

    ...As it can be seen, my greatest problem is self disciple...

    If you have made it this far, thank you so very much! Forgive the length of my story, but this is it in its entirety. As I had said, I want to finally be happy, so I only ask to please pray for me and give me any piece of advice that can break my chains of both lust and misery.
     
    Burner1 and D . J . like this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    I made it to the end. :) Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.
     
    Burner1 likes this.
  3. TheProdigalSon

    TheProdigalSon Fapstronaut

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    Thank you sir, I hope I'll meet you and the rest of those that are free of this disease when the the months to come
     
    D . J . likes this.
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  5. TheProdigalSon

    TheProdigalSon Fapstronaut

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    Well considering that this is my first time taking real action against this, I'm not entirely sure. I was hoping people in the forums could possibly give some advice. With this, if I may ask, could you please give me extra tips to this. (However, if I were to at least think of one, I would probably choose exercise cause that kills two birds with one stone)
     
    D . J . likes this.
  6. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    I always like to ask first and not assume anything. Since you are seeking strategies, check out In Case You Didn't Know.
     
  7. TheProdigalSon

    TheProdigalSon Fapstronaut

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    Sir, if I may ask...am I able to ask you questions at anytime, or would that be a bother?
     
    D . J . likes this.
  8. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Not a bother at all. Send me a PM anything you want.
     
  9. TheProdigalSon

    TheProdigalSon Fapstronaut

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    Well, today (day 1) I kept looking at girls...chest areas...thoughout the day. Obviously this is objectifying them, but I also did this to some of my friends who are girls too. Its bad alone that im staring at girls in this way, but it angers me more that I'm doing this to my friends as well! Do you have any advice that can help avoid my gaze at that area? In addition, how do I send a PM?
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017
  10. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    To send a PM, click on my name and Start A Conversation

    Guard your eyes. You can't control whether a girl has breasts but you can control how long you look at them. Keep your eyes on their eyes.
     
    Burner1 likes this.
  11. Little Dragon

    Little Dragon Fapstronaut

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    WOW man i'm a religious guy too and, I swear your story is almost the same as mine ( and probably as many guys and girls here), i started with a video game just like u, then youtube , then some hentai and then real Porn..ara real downward spiral, i will not go into details but as u expect i had some of your super self killing issues.. and Here i'm, and trust me there's not turn back anymore
     
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  12. Burner1

    Burner1 Fapstronaut

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    I made it to the end as well - and that was a great post from a young man on a mission. Glad for you! Here are some steps I have used to manage myself:

    Here are some recommendations to get you started. IF you do these things and get fully educated, it goes a long way to fighting the urges and building a great streak (the number of days you abstain – the goal is to keep getting longer and longer streaks until you have broken the addiction).
    1. Share your story - how did PMO become your addiction? [YOU COMPLETED ALL READY!]
    2. Visit www.yourbrainonporn.com to understand the science of the addiction so you can battle it with wisdom.
    3. Watch The Ted talk here:
    4. Set up a porn blocker on your computer and all other devices you COULD use for PMO.
    5. Get yourself an accountability partner on this site, and locally, if you have a close friend you can safely confide in.
    6. Read posts here daily and update your journal daily ( create one) - you'll understand others' experiences and how they may relate to you and be immersed in ongoing communication that we'll be daily assets for you while also helping others.
    7. Set realistic goals and add a counter to help you and everyone see your progress - small steps seem very achievable and build confidence - large ones may make you feel like it is useless. I suggest picking one day past your longest streak to date, or less if the longest "seems" unachievable at present. Setting 6 months or 1 year is way too far away if you are just starting. YOU WILL fall, like all of the rest of us. You’ve got to get back up, dust yourself off and start moving forward again. It’s only a failure when you GIVE UP!
    8. Ask questions along the way - we're here to help each other. Nobody will judge you here - we're here to help ourselves and one another!
    Welcome to the team! Let's fight the battle against PMO and make some progress together!
     
    D . J . likes this.

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