Hello ...

Welcome Elijah!

You are doing the right thing!
Some tips (from https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/in-case-you-didnt-know.84619/ by @D . J . ) :

1. Understand that you are engaged in a war to regain the possession of the life you unknowingly gave away to PMO. It should be treated as a hostile enemy because it doesn't play fairly. By not taking this seriously or by taking this halfheartedly, you will get very far before frustration causes you to surrender to the enemy. Be warned, failure is a part of the process. Not every battle will be won. There are many success stories to show that victory is possible but remember, an addict always has the opportunity to fall backwards and thus again surrendering the life you have fought so hard to regain. The battling may end soon for some but the war may last a lifetime for others. That doesn't mean there will be constant battles for life. Even in times of peace the enemy is out to still, kill and destroy you. Take up your shield and your sword and prepare for war!
2. You wonder if you really have an addiction or you "just happen to like porn/ masturbation" well, the way you know something has control over you or not is, if you can stop something and never do it again, you control it, if you can't, it has control over you. Once you accept it is an addiction:
3. Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.
4. Here is how to block sites on iPhone and iPad Safari.
5. Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.
6. Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.
7. Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively: Newbies: List Of Reboot Resources
8. Go to Your Brain On Porn to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.
9. Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.
10. When you go to the bathroom, don't take your smartphone with you. (from @countryboy94)
11. Be careful of visual triggers from social media. Delete accounts if necessary. (from @countryboy94)
12. Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you knowyou may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.
13. When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely[or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.
14. Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!
15. IF YOU ENGAGE IN PRONE MASTURBATION (masturbation while on your stomach) STOP THIS BEHAVIOR NOW!!! YOU ARE HARMING YOURSELF!!!
16. Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.
17. Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.
18. Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many times M'ing is more likely in dark places.
19. At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.
20. If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.
21. Many have found cold and short showers beneficial for temptations control.
22. If you have a faith, lean into it. Allow it to strengthen you in times of weakness. Many of us have gained strength in our weakest moments due to our faith. There are several Groups that are on NoFap dedicated to allow a person to gain additional encouragement and strength through prayer, scripture or a specific community of similar beliefs.
23. Consider asking for an accountability partner. We in the forum will help you but some may become stronger with one or a few to keep them accountable.
24. Never agree with your temptation.(@mvp35lusanity)
25. Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.To create a journal, go to the Reboot Logs, find your age group, begin a thread. That thread is your journal. Go back to your first post and place a link to your new journal there so people can find you can follow you.
26. For those who want a counter, click on this link.
27. Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.
    1. Each one, teach one means for each person who has been helped, consider teaching another person from his or her own experiences.
28. Whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.
29. [Advice and rant] Along your journey, reflect back to who you were but don't go backwards! What I mean is don't fight to gain a week or a month or 6 months sobriety then waste the progress by "checking to see if my penis still works because I've been flatlining and I haven't been horny in awhile". Really? That is only a lie you are telling yourself to MO. If it didn't work, you would feel nothing at all, even when urinating. Seriously! You cannot have it both ways! You cannot complain when you are always horny and then complain when your not horny at all. Consider it a NoFap resting station. Keep moving forward.
30. Similarly, don't decide to "watch P to see if you are still affected by it! If you have been watching P for a year... 5 years... 10, 20. 30 years, what makes you think being sober for a week to 6 months is going to override all of the years you've been watching P. Think about it! [Note: For those of you who are new to this forum, the previous two may be lies you tell yourself while in recovery. These two may seem crazy and you may think this is common sense but too many have admitted to one of or both of these situations. This is how powerful the addiction can be. Don't allow yourself to fall into this trap of the enemy called a brain addicted to PMO].
31. PMO is not a need; it is not analogous to our needs for sex and relationships and food. PMO is an addiction; a drug. It is an artificial construct; asimulation designed to hijack our brain.
    The fact that there is no single "physical substance" only makes PMO more dangerous. The physical substance being abused in the case of PMO is our brain.
    That said, we will NOT allow our brain to be abused by the pornography industry. We will NOT crave the company of pixels over our friends and families. We will NOT be a slave to witless desires that ruin our relationships and stunt our personal and professional growth. We will NOT stop yearning, striving and persevering again PMO. (from @Tomato_Bisque)
32. Learn from your past mistakes. Making the same mistakes will wear your resolve to fight longer. If possible, learn from the mistakes others' have made. There are far too many new mistakes that can be made than to get stuck making old ones. If you have a relapse/ reset, ask yourself "What could you have done that you didn't do which have not resulted in a relapse/reset?", then the next time you are in a similar situation, do that!
33. Beware of what I call the urge ambush. Urge ambushes are those times when all seems to be going well and you feel as though all is fine and then, from out of nowhere, BAM!!!! You get hit by powerful urges to PMO, not provoked by anything you have done but they, at times, can seem crippling and you really have to fight your way free from those urges. When that happens, you've been urge ambushed!
34. NoFap works best when you see the damage PMO has done to your life and you want to regain what you have given away.
35. "To have sex" and/or "just having a relationship" are not healthy main goals because you are potentially seeing the the other person as an object whose purpose is to satisfy you, similar to watching porn. A goal of becoming a better, healthier, confident person allows someone to notice and a new you (even if you already have a spouse or are already in a relationship) which may result in having sex or a relationship. It's more about growing as a person without PMO as results do vary.
36. You must renew my commitment for sobriety each day. The commitment is only valid for 24 hours. Next day you are free to make a new decision. Each day choose for sobriety. (from @alex_sober)
37. Wet dreams are a part of the process for many. If they occur for you, they do not count as a relapse or a reset. They are only messy and annoying.
    1. ...the trick I used was cold showers. You could also take an ice pack and place it down there or a bag of frozen peas, etc. The cold helps to constrict the blood vessels so it slows the flow of blood to that area. I found that doing one of those things helped the best and even made the pain go away fairly quickly. (from @ILoathePorn)
38. “...E + F + C = M. That is, Excitement plus Fatigue, plus Confusion equals Mistakes.”
    ― Rutledge Etheridge, Agent of Destruction (from @douggie1962)
39. Habits form in a loop: cue - routine - reward.
    Successfully changing a habit requires three things:
    - identify your cues
    - replace the routine with something else
    - get reward from doing the new routine
    You can apply this to any habit behaviour. The people who successfully beat addictions are those who have planned out every detail - they have a detailed relapse prevention strategy for dealing with triggers and urges.
    Urges feel awful but it can be helpful to remember that the average urge lasts less than 10 minutes. If you can plan out something to do that's distracting for when urges hit. A walk or run is good because it gets you away from the computer and also gives reward in itself... The other thing to remember is that porn may be all you can think about if you've seen a trigger but a day or two later it'll [most likely] be forgotten again. (from @diddykong)
40. Fantasizing... "I realized my fantasies are not fantasies but chains - chains holding me back from real joy, real achievement, real living.
    A good way to know if something is good for you is how you feel after you do it. I NEVER feel better after indulging in self medication, I never feel better after fapping or giving into or dwelling on, a fantasy (and by fantasy I mean porn or fetish or unwanted fantasy -[places] that I think PMO has taken me that are disconnected from what I am really attracted to.)" (from@ivanhoe) - {this was so well said, I could not paraphrase, I could only direct quote}

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.

Identifying your triggers is like hearing an early warning alarm showing you the enemy is lurking and ready to strike. Your triggers are you weak points and the PMO already exploits them so it would be wise for you to know them as well.
Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:

• Laziness
• Fear
• Hunger
• Anger/ aggravation / frustration
• Loneliness
• Tiredness
• Depression
• Inebriation
• Depression
• General stress
• Need for control/ feeling out of control or loss of control
• Boredom
• Helplessness

 

Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

 

What was your visual or emotional trigger?

What could you have done differently which could have led to a different outcome?