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Thanks for this site - Married man

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by aprendiz, Jan 16, 2017.

  1. aprendiz

    aprendiz New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all. I am a Spanish man, 37 years old. I am Spanish, so forgive my mistakes in English. I remember that I masturbated firstly in my life when I was 12, and I have not been able to be more than few months without it, even though I've never enjoyed it. I am a Christian, and I would like to stop it for forever, but I feel I am not able to get it. I got married 12 years ago, and when I got married I thought it was the end of masturbation, but I was wrong. I feel tempted again and again by porn, always at night with my computer, when my wife and my children are sleeping. I am tempted, in particular, when I have had a very bad day at work.

    On the other hand, nowadays my real problem is that I don't feel I am atractive any more to my wife. I would like to have more intimacy with her, and make love more often. For example, in last 20 months, we have made love only three times, and I do not know if it is common or not. In the past, there have been long periods without making love, such as one or one and a half year. Then, I feel I am always trying not to touch her, not to insinuate her that I would like to make love, and I feel rejected by her; something that makes me feel depressed and that makes me fall to temptations regarding porn-masturbation-orgasm.

    Thank you very much for creating this site and having this idea. I do not know how can I explain this thoughts to anyone... I am very very shy.
     
    i_wanna_get_better1 likes this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.
     
  3. aprendiz

    aprendiz New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much for your reply, and support. Finding this site has been quite a suprise, and a light of hope.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  5. aprendiz

    aprendiz New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your comments and like. Regarding your question: well, I think my real problem is that I don't have strategies at all. In my case, I feel sometimes a hypocrite, because PMO is something that forms part only of my very intimate life, even though I regret any time I fall into temptation. That's why I feel relieved when I found this site. I was wandering how the challenges work: if it is only initiating a forum in the rebooting section saying that I commit not to fall in the next 60 or 90 days or something like this, or if there are some steps or recommendations to take... In any case, just having the opportunity to talk openly is helping me these days.
     
  6. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  7. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the forum. What you describe is common with people who have an addiction. The longer someone is addicted the more likely someone is to display the symptoms you are explaining. The good news is that when the porn is taken away most of the symptoms go away and life gets better. Of course getting rid of the porn is the hardest part. Some men have decided to share their secret with their wives and they fight the problem together. Part of getting better is not only to fix ourselves but also to fix the relationships we have damaged along the way.

    So, educate yourself. Identify your triggers. Work on removing the triggers and dealing with the emotional reasons you seek out porn. Find an accountability partner. Write down a plan. Start a journal. Set small goals and work your way up to bigger goals. Recovery is not just a dream. It is possible for anyone to get rid of porn. I hope you find the information, suggestions, and support you need to get better.
     
    D . J . likes this.

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