Oh God please help me!

Everyone here has relapsed so there's no reason to be so dramatic about it! You're able to "contain yourself for three days" and then you can't?!? People's accomplishments here prove that you can, and are here to encourage you. If I were to put a torch to your penis and told you that if you touched it and started masturbating, that I'd burn it, I'm sure you'd be averse to that! lol
You relapsed because you wanted to...no particular shame in that.
Fantasy is just fantasy but an obsession with it is an addiction to fantasy and that can present problems.
Watching live action images of real children and people getting hurt and abused is criminal because it supports and promotes exploitation. Child porn or "snuff" porn is the irresponsible victimization of people who are innocent and without the ability to help or defend themselves against such victimization.
Bad choices usually leads to bad consequences, so choose wisely or be ready to accept all that it brings. Something that is true for everyone and anyone.
Pouring bleach in your eyes seems extreme and misplaced. It's not your eyes causing you problems but what's going on in your head. So stop blaming your eyes and get your head straight!
And if you're waiting for god to save you here then let me know when he shows up and post a reply to your comments because I'm not waiting here for that and in my humble opinion, neither should you! I say this with love and acceptance for what you've shared.
Good luck bro! My best wishes, sincerely!
No need to call yourself names like pervert here because none of us are impressed! That's a joke of course!

 

Forgive yourself and keep trying! If you need an accountability partner, send me a DM

 

Hi Ced. Welcome to NoFap. You say that you've tried countless times to control yourself, but this is your first post on the website. That means that you haven't started a journal, you haven't talked to others here and you don't have an AP. In essence, you haven't even begun to try to control yourself - you have only WISHED to control yourself.

So ok. You're here now. That's good. You are frightened by the escalation effect. We've all been there. Scary shit right? The great news is that when you begin to abstain, the escalation does indeed go away over time, just as it built up over time.

My advice to you is to start a journal in the Forum section for your age group. Post to it daily about your struggles, triggers, childhood, etc... Anything you think may or may not be relevant to your problems with porn and masturbation. It's also helpful to read as much as you can of what other people write on this site. And read up on yourbrainonporn.com. You may also find it helpful to have an Accountability Partner. @SoulOf1Lion has already volunteered to help you with this. Nice job Soul! Send him a private message if you're interested in this.

You're going to get better. I already know this because I was once where you are now. I haven't watched porn or jacked off for 159 days. It's not a big deal once you get some traction. I'm glad you're here and I wish you the best of luck!

 

God helps those who help themselves, as I found out. If you haven't gotten a content filter for your internet, get one asap and let a trusted , close friend or family member who understands your struggle set a password for you that you don't know. If you find a workaround or loophole that lets you surf P again and you slip up, don't fret or blame yourself, have your friend/family member help you to block whatever it was. Keep eliminating all the temptations one by one as they surface and you'll eventually discover there's nothing left for you to access and once you hit that stage your cravings for P will start to trail off and fade away since you simply can't get it anymore and your subconscious will stop wasting energy trying to get something it can't have. Stay strong.

 

You need to feel great even about your smallest accomplishments. You're able to hold off for two or three days and, instead of knowing that some guys can't even do that, you think it's insignificant. Be proud of yourself. We live in a FUCKED UP world. The fact that you can abstain even for a day or two is big time provided how many conveniences (and therefore opportunities) we have to slip up. Take it one step at a time. If you mess up, forgive yourself and get over it fast. Keep moving forward.