1 month challenge

2
well day 2 today... i had an erotic dream this night... and im always surprised what weird things can trigger me :O but i want to stay clean... for 1 month. How r u all doing today?

 

Its okay man, i dont blame you for anything... all in all, this only let down yourself, not mine... i mean... im sorry u relapsed but i dont care about that personaly. We are here together to motivate one another but not to take anyone else's relapse personaly... its not my relapse, its your relapse. I dont want to act like a moron... my english is bad sometimes i dont know how to say what i'd like too... hopefully u understand. Good luck! And thanks for your activity on this thread

 

3
Today it was rough day... hade some urges. Luckily could control that... now i feel very good. Good luck, keep fighting! We can do it for 1 month this time! I know that....

 

welcome!

 

4
Another day... not hard, not really easy, just some medium urges, etc... but i found out pretty helpful reading posts about how porn affect brain and how dangerous it is... you know... some say that best thing u can do is not to busy your mind with porn in any way. Like dont read about porn [ even in negative meaning] dont watch videos related to nofap etc... but u know what? I tried that... well maybe i'll get to that level i can afford this but... not interesting myself into nofap, trying not to think about porn at all made things worse. I had few relapses, no feelings like fighting something, no motivation... i felt like its nothing going on here, like im just back on my well known PMO track...

So i decided stay active on nofap forums, read stuff if i want to and watch vids if i feel like it (ofc im not saying im gonna spend hours reading nofap stuff or watching vids...)

So all i can say is: Find your own way... noone can tell you what to do and what not to do. People only can say what help them personaly to give u a tip, motivate you or show you one of the ways... but in the end of a day... u have to find your own way, even if its something, anyone told you doesnt work... cause if it doenst work for someone, it doesnt mean it wont work for you. We all are different.... totaly.

I can say reading about negative porn effect saved myself form relapse yesterday... so... thats it, find your own way and stay there.

Good luck all!

 

5
Today is the 5th day. Since i woke up, i feel medium urges. So i guess this day can be hard if i wont set my mind to someething... all in all its not something i wasnt expect so i feel quite prepared.

I read statement about if u pass over 3 weeks things gets easier... i dont know, never been that far. My longest streak is 17 days. And few times smth around 2 weeks... i can say sometimes first few days.. like first 4-5 days is super easy and it gets harder and harder after 1week... but another time first few days are super hard... and once i get over like 1 week or 10 days or so... it gets easier. Idk what causes this but i read many times that i haveto get over 3 weeks... well i dont think this is some magical border or something... but im curios how does it feel after 3-4 weeks of abstaining. If ill see some real changes or not... thats another why i want to get over 1 month. I want to see changes... or benefits as u say...

 

6
Well today i have an afternoon shift in work what means i will not have any time for ym urges. I'll get back home about 10:30 pm so i guess it wont be hard to get through this day. Luckily... cause i had realistic porn dream tonight again. Thislike dreams always make me horny somehow... so... i guess this day would be quite hard. Anyway... its 6th day, its near 1 week of this challenge. Its 1/4 of whole thing! I know it will be hard... much harder than this. I know critical time comes between 2-3 weeks but i wont give up...

Yesterday i read YBOP stuff and some vids of nofap theme.... it helped me again. In one moment i was almost about to give up. But reading these statements helped me get back to why im doing this...

 

7
Well i just relapsed on 7th day. PMO 1x so far hopefuly im not gonna binge... its a weird story. Since early morning i was horny... but i felt like i can stand it. But today i spent much time on internet. I got into a forum... there was a guy talking about something i didnt knew... its a festival... im not gonna name it... i told myself: "What is that"? so i searched on google for that... then i realised it has something to do with sexual orgy. Searched more about that... in this point i knew im on very thin ice. Yet there was a sexual position i didnt knew. And u know what? I searched for google pics of that. Yes i was stupid... very stupid...
Once i looked on the pictures showing that sexual position irl, what was basically a porn thumbnails, i knew im about toi relapse... my allday horniness+this content... so i just relapsed. Clicked on a porn content, looked just for a while.. maybe... 2 minutes. And then fapped. Thats it.

Saddest thing for me is that i knew im about to relapse... i knew i dont have to search for that content cause it will most likely trigger me much... i know if i search for google pics of a sexual position i'll probably relapse... but i just havent stopped it.

Still thinking about that... relapsed on 7th day. Its almost like nothing... ye, its basicaly a week but i want serious progress. I must learn from my faults... i spent too much time on internet, browsing dangerous forums, and when i found a trigger i clicked it and search for it instead of close that stuff... i knew im about to relapse so i did. Thats it...

Lets start day1 again. Now i'll be continue my journey in my journal in the "journals" section.... see ya