***SPOILER MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS - Dirty Talk, help/advice

***i will again clarify at this point that i am going to use some potentially triggering words here. please only read if you can deal with that and not relapse, you are doing great and im not here to ruin that***





So... i am casually messaging a girl i work with, different shifts so we don't see each other 24/7. we both like each other and she is the first person who i have told about my PIED issue... EVER. I saw it fit as she noticed some differences in my mood, processing ability and all round demeanour on day 3. She was very comforting and has invited me to message her to be my distraction if i get any urges, day or night.

We met up for a few drinks before i started my NoFAP journey, (i am still only on day 5 so i know there are harder times to come) and played "never have i ever" we discussed the usual "never have i ever been in a car crash, never have i ever been sick in a plane"... then it naturally ramped up "never have i ever had a threesome, never have i ever had anal"... The usually expected questions when alcohol and such a game join hands.

Now i don't know whether, as we are still really in courting phase, i should keep up this level of chat with her or not. I've set myself the challenge of 90 days hard mode off the cuff as i beat nicotine addiction cold turkey 01/01/2016 to present day. I feel like i have a strong willpower. i also feel like this fun loving energetic and slightly sexualised chat-style would be beneficial for our relationship which i personally want to be long term. what i dont want i to find that on day 14 i'm walking around with an erection ive had for 9 hours and all of a sudden i get the message "have you ever cum inside someones pussy with no condom" and that be the final straw, i run off to a bus shelter fap furiously onto a grannies handbag and ruin my streak.

would it be a good idea if i was to continue this sort of talk to advise her that i need to be in control of when it is instigated so that i'm mentally prepared or should i remove temptation altogether and run the risk of her not seeing me as a potential partner by the time i hit 90 days if not before and seeing her with someone else send me into a depressed relapse anyway.

At this stage i really think 90 days should be manageable but i have no idea how my cravings/urges are going to be tomorrow let alone in 90 days time.

any advice is good advice even if it doesn't 100% relate, but what i will say is i have strong feelings for this girl. She is naturally pretty, has a great sense of humour and our conversation just flows so i'd love a win win solution if anyone has one.

Peace and love brothers, may we all fight the good fight side by side and rid each other of our demons.

 

Ready to give up on my life let alone this nofap "streak". gotta stop kidding myself and pretending that im going to amount to something. there are people who do and people who watch people who do. im a watcher and its no life to lead. why fucking bother

 

got the old, i think we should stop... its not you its me, youll find someone bullshit

 

brings on a sudden sense of realisation that people will always see me as someone they can be around in small doses but never really care about

 

well right now apart from finding a bridge all i can think of doing is the very thing all of us are here to stop. im in my 2nd week which i hear is brutal for urges. this is most powerful urge in 10 days. and i think im going to break. would it be so bad to start a new streak girl free?

 

Im not in the USA but i have answered my own original question. no its not a good idea! ive been in a relationship with P for so long i almost forgot that rejection is part of a real life relationship. few days of self improvement. some hard excercise and get back on a streak and completely take my mind off of girls. why i thought i was better than everyone else facing this addiction is beyond me.

 

no no she just fell into my life at what i thought was a convenient time but then dashed right out of it at THE most inconvenient time possible. ive never really been a "pick up chicks" kinda guy. guess thats why it bothers me so much to see a decent girl go. unlike these so called studs who dont seem to give a single iota of a care