Having problems with my girlfriend regarding triggers

Hey guys,

Recently I've been running into some problems.

To give you a brief overview, been masturbating since I was about 13 years old. 22 now. Been quit masturbation for over 200 days. Been quit fantasizing for about 100. Got a girlfriend
around the 100 day mark. Success! Or so you would think.

I guess it is a success, still, but I'm having some problems. Specifically with triggers for fantasies and stuff. It seems like all my girlfriend has to do is mention sex in any kind of light, or do something even totally not-sexual, and my brain redirects to porn. This then triggers a cascade of nasty mental and physical changes. I get really happy at first, but then crash days later. My erections are strong for a day or so, but then they get super weak, and nothing can turn me on, besides porn (I would imagine; I don't ever test it). When this happens, I become super weak in bed. I can't last even 30 seconds. I feel super disconnected to my girlfriend, and I feel tired and sometimes even nauseous when I wake up. All symptoms of a relapse, you would think.

I just don't know what to do about this though. I can't just tell her to not say anything sexual or try to be seductive to me. I don't know why this is happening. I'm 200 days in, you'd think something would have changed by now. In this way, it's kind of affecting our whole relationship. She feels restrained in what she can express to me, sexually, and I feel frustrated with the relationship because when I have these relapses, I feel really disconnected and not into the relationship. And I know I am. When I feel good, I really enjoy it! Problem is, I don't feel that good all the time. I rarely feel that good, sadly. On top of this, I've got an anxiety disorder to boot.

Any advice from experienced nofappers would be greatly appreciated. If you want me to expand, just let me know and I'll explain stuff a little bit more.

Thanks guys. I'm a hurtin' scene right now and really need some help.

 

I'm going to ultimately be forced into this as she's going back home for about 2 months in a few weeks. So that'll give me a nice amount of time to reset and hopefully make some good progress for when she comes back. It's just frustrating though. She tries to understand, but at the end of the day she kind of sees it moreso as "Why can't you have sex with me" as opposed to "I'm glad you're taking the time and effort to heal yourself". And don't get me wrong, I understand that. It's got to be frustrating having such a sensitive sex life with your partner, but I have to do this.